Search the 7½th floor of your office building for a small door. Open it, take a deep breath, and crawl inside. Squelch through the dark tunnel until you find yourself somehow, impossibly, seeing through my eyes. You are sat in a swanky restaurant opposite a woman with great cans and the face of Kevin Sorbo. “Kevin Sorbo?” she asks. “Kevin Sorbo Kevin Sorbo.” A waiter arrives and he too is Kevin Sorbo. You panic. You flee through a crowd of Kevin Sorbo. Everyone is Kevin Sorbo. How can this be. Kevin Sorbo? Kevin Sorbo! Kevin Sorbo Kevin Sorbo.
Any player who wins ten PvP matches in August will unlock Hercules as a playable god and score a “retro” Hercules skin with that KEVIN SORBO voice pack. Should they find a way to get Lucy Lawless in too, I will never play any other game.
Pip’s into Smite too, I know. I feel a bad friend for only showing interest in the MOBA now it’s adding Kevin Sorbo. But… Kevin Sorbo! My enthusiasm is wholly unironic. I will watch anything he’s in. Same for Brendan Fraser. Yeah, you can shut up.
Here, watch this video with The Sorbman carefully dancing around mentioning Hercules: The Legendary Journeys: