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EA Know When You WooHoo (In The Sims 4)

I was going to zoom in on the sausage as a symbolic reference to WooHooing but the image became blurry and weird

A year after launch, we’ve found out that EA have been monitoring your sex life in The Sims 4 [official site] like a bunch of creepy digital voyeurs in order to create a first birthday infographic. To that end, they have announced that characters in the game have done the flesh fandango 235,000,000 times.

I’ll tell you a bit more about the data in a moment but first: birthday infographics.

My parents never made an infographic for my first birthday. It could have been perfect for a newsletter or official blog (which I also didn’t have). It could have featured favourite words, steps taken, maximum tantrum decibels, time spent stroking the cat, time spent being comforted after stroking the cat went wrong…

I feel like this is a black mark against their parenting. What is life if not points of data organised for other people’s delight? My parents cared nothing for my #brand. They’ve also never celebrated my workiversary on LinkedIn. My father has, however, endorsed me for the skills of “Journalism”, “Pop Culture” and “Rodeo” so I suppose they are trying.

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Philippa Warr

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