If you’ll cast your mind back about a week you will remember that the Total War: Warhammer [official site] devs promised an in-engine cinematic regarding dwarfs “soon” when they debuted their dwarfs. “Soon” has become “now” and has also brought lore-based infotainment.
“Deep beneath the World’s Edge Mountains, in the throne-room of the Dwarfen capital Karaz-A-Karak, High King Thorgrim Grudgebearer broods.
“Poring endlessly over the Dammaz Kron, the Great Book of Grudges, he dreams of vengeance for the countless betrayals and treacheries against his people. And sometimes, just sometimes, an opportunity to settle an old score presents itself…”
1. I feel like if you’re going to go by the name of Mr Grudgebearer people are probably going to assume a certain amount of brooding on your part. You might just be daydreaming on your throne, thinking about cats or hats or whatever and people are still going to be like “Well, there he is, brooding again. Bearing all those grudges.”
2. Unless of course it is a job title, in which case you’ve really brought this on yourself when you applied.
3. Also, maybe writing down a long list of grievances isn’t the best way to deal with them? There have been a few claims over the last decade that brooding over problems and revisiting them makes it worse, harder to get distance. Maybe instead of creating an entire book called the “Great Book of Grudges” and then poring over it Mr Grudgebearer could go for a walk or meet a friend for coffee?
4. Unless this is just the dwarf equivalent of a Burn Book and at the end of Total Warhammer: Mean Girls Mr Grudgebearer will learn a valuable lesson about Lindsay Lohan and the sisterhood and do some trust falls with the goblin people (I do not play Warhammer) and their spider friends.
5. Finally, if the dwarfs had better internet they could avoid the problem of the book being full and set up The Great Blog Of Grudges.
Total Warhammer: Revenge of the Mean Girls is due in 2016.