Lovey-Dovey: The Witcher 3 Patch To Expand Romances

Love. Ewww! Gross. Don’t think I haven’t seen you around the place, holding hands, smooching, gazing longingly, and sliding hands up- the point is, once you awful people get loved up, you want to do more of it. More chats about plans and futures and furniture and – worst of all – wonky little clones of yourselves to show the whole dang troubled world how much you love each other. Love. The worst.

I like that a lot of lovey stuff in The Witcher 3 [official site] is terse, unspoken, or broadly doomed. I can relate to that. But no, because you rats demand more love, CD Projekt RED plan to expand their RPG’s romances a little in an upcoming patch.

The supposed problem centers on Triss, Geralt’s main squeeze from the first two games. Hints of romance with another sorceress lurked in the background of both, then The Witcher 3 introduced Yennefer as a possible love pal who spends a fair bit of time with Geralt while questing. Triss plays a smaller, slightly disconnected role in TW3, and romancing her didn’t feel like much of a romance. CD Projekt have said before that they planned to address this a little, and recently said it’d come with the next patch – whenever that comes. As for what it’ll actually change, RED told Kotaku:

“We’ll be adding some additional dialogue for Triss and Yennefer in the upcoming patch due to the fan feedback. We’ve read many opinions on our forums where gamers weren’t satisfied with the way their romance choices were fleshed out, so we wanted to change that by adding some extra conversational options.”

I chose Triss in TW3 – purely to check that love is still super gross, and yep, it still is – and quite liked that the romance with her was a quiet, reserved, “It went wrong, but once all this calms down let’s try again” sort of thing. I still haven’t finished the game, though, so I might have missed some weirdness.

For goodness’ sake, you lot, explore the many wonders of platonic love. All this romantic love is so very, utterly, deeply, uncontrollably gross.


  1. Grizzly says:

    But the grossness is part of the fun! It’s like watching Blood C with your friends!

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    johannsebastianbach says:

    I think love is great in theory. But since it never works quite as intended, I tend to consider it gross as well. At least I’ll keep telling me that. Still I do love me some romance stories/movies/games. Argh.

  3. aleander says:

    Well, the weirdness was that after a certain part you actually stop talking to each other. At all. Like she’s right there, but there’s nothing to talk about. Not in the “okay, actually, I hate you” way, but in a very obvious “whoops, you weren’t actually supposed to pick that one” way. Unless something happens off-screen. That would explain a lot.

    Maybe that happens with Yen too, but I’d have to stop stealing tanks from the Russians to check.

    • Zenicetus says:

      No, that doesn’t happen with Yen. Part of it is related to the way she has a more central role at the ending of the main story, but it’s also the way the she ties into the whole “family” thing with Geralt and Ciri. The game supports the impression that Geralt, Yen, and Ciri are a tight family (if you choose the Yen romance option). It’s especially strong in one of the epilogues with Ciri and Geralt/Yen.

      It will be interesting to see how they handle beefing up the Triss romance in the later game, because it doesn’t feel as organic to me as the whole “family” thing with Yen.

      • Hakkesshu says:

        I went with Triss, and the part during “The Last Wish” quest where you tell Yennefer you no longer love her is one of the best parts of that game. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a video game character act so believably hurt before.

        “Luckily” Triss is currently bugged in my game (re: the statuette quests), so I haven’t seen the story through yet, hopefully this means I’ll have a better endgame experience?

        • aleander says:

          Ah, no, the Yen-if-not-with-her storyline is great, heart-wrenching, tender, and surprisingly mature for something that started out with collectible, um, cards. The more disappointing the Triss part, OTOH it’s kinda harder, because that relationship seems to be developing into something so boringly healthy it’s disgusting. People shouldn’t have relationships that aren’t full of mind-reading and genie-mandated feelings and random sarcastic jabs.

        • Bing_oh says:

          I went with Triss, too, and would agree that Yen’s reaction when you say you don’t love her anymore is quite impressively done. The thing is, I thought the reaction was rather contrary, though. Before that, I never thought that Yen ever showed in the least that she loved Geralt. Quite frankly, for a character that was built up over the previous two games as being Geralt’s true love and the woman he died for, she felt like a manipulative wench who was just using Geralt for her own ends.

          • Zenicetus says:

            Sure, but Yen also shows some real affection for Geralt, between the sarcasm and manipulation.

            Also remember that Geralt is close to 100 years old, and Yennifer is at least that old, probably older. They’ve known each other a very long time, and the relationship reflects that. They bicker and fight, and then have hot sex on a stuffed unicorn.

            As an older gamer, I can appreciate that type of relationship. Maybe that’s why Yen didn’t immediately turn me off when she showed up in the game (I haven’t read the books, so this was my first exposure). Triss is a lot younger, and that relationship is presented more like a conventional video game romance fling.

          • aleander says:

            Heh, as I grow older I (and many people I’ve been with, too, apparently) start appreciating the Triss thing more — slowly coming to the thought that while “shows some real affection for Geralt, between the sarcasm and manipulation” makes for great stories, it’s not really all that great (for us, anyway).

            And, uh, your image of cg flings is overly optimistic, I tell you. Both relationships in the game are at least superficially based on doing things together and enjoying each other’s presence, not gift matching. Of course, all relationships in games ultimately boil down to gift matching, and I don’t think that’s avoidable without (heh) procedurally generated relationships and face recognition (:D) and nano machines (@_@), but at least W3 does a bit to disguise the fact.

          • Bing_oh says:

            “Heh, as I grow older I (and many people I’ve been with, too, apparently) start appreciating the Triss thing more — slowly coming to the thought that while “shows some real affection for Geralt, between the sarcasm and manipulation” makes for great stories, it’s not really all that great (for us, anyway).”

            Rather my thoughts on it as well. Conflict and drama make for great narratives, but they rarely make for a great life. I look at the relationship between Geralt and Yen and I see an unhealthy one…if this was a real relationship, I’d wonder how much domestic violence it going on between them and how often Geralt has to tell the other Witchers that “ran into a gryphon” to explain away his black eye.

  4. TehK says:

    The supposed problem centers on Triss, Geralt’s main squeeze from the first two games

    First two? Two, you say? How dare you, Lady O’Connor!
    I’ll have you know that I chose Shani!

    (and yes, I had to google her name)

  5. FriendlyFire says:

    I’m still weirded out by how much Yennefer changed in appearance between the first big trailer (shown in the header image) and the released game.

  6. albamuth says:

    Gross as in, “people holding hands in public gazing into each other’s eyes” or gross as in, “omg Geralt is such a creep but somehow he makes panties drop with his stupid words.”?

    • Xzi says:

      I call BS. With those eyes, that hair, and those muscles, he’d be making women’s panties drop IRL too. Even if he was mentally handicapped.

  7. Jane Doe says:

    Most romances in RPGs nowadays are rather … strange, to say it nicely, but I liked the romance with Yennefer. She felt powerful and a little enigmatic, always keeping Geralt on his toes with her sharp wit and that unicorn.

    I haven’t tried Triss since they turned her from the dignified Royal Advisor of Witcher 1 into the Cutie Pie-Teenage-Boytoy of Witcher 2.

  8. PsyX99 says:

    Triss… the big mistake they did.

    Geralt has his memories back. Why the *** would he want any other women that Yennefer ? :(

    • DelrueOfDetroit says:

      Because she’s a sociopath?

      • Booker says:

        Not every woman who doesn’t behave like a subservient 1960s housewife is a sociopath.

        • Bing_oh says:

          A manipulative woman who doesn’t consider the pain caused to others IS a sociopath, though. And, realistically, that pretty much explains Geralt’s and Yen’s relationship. The only time I remember Yen showing real feelings for Geralt was if you tell her you don’t love her anymore.

    • Booker says:

      Well it’s a player driven role-playing game, so everyone has their own experience. I had a hard time choosing, because IMHO both have a lot going for them.

      I’ve played the game twice and chose another one in each playthrough, just to do something different and the endings proved that both were kind of amazing. In different ways, but still.

      • gunny1993 says:

        The one reason I love the Witcher more than any other RPG series is that I can replay it with the full intention of going down another route but getting so swept up in it I make the same decisions I did last time ( in #2 I played the game 4 times with the intention of going with roche, but every time I couldn’t resists the evil charm of iroveth) I fully suspect I wont be able to say no to Yen

  9. geldonyetich says:

    “I’m not a gigolo.” was a dialogue option Geralt had to rebuff Keira’s affections in Valen.

    I’m like, “Dude. Have you seen the collectable card game in the previous games? You totes are a gigolo.”

    Romance patch. Good luck with that.

  10. GWOP says:

    “wonky little clones of yourselves”

    Programmable wonky little clones, Alice!

  11. SuicideKing says:

    True love lies in ponds and lakes.

  12. Spuzzell says:

    So long as they’re optional and can be ignored if you prefer, romance away as far as I’m concerned.

    I do find romancing in games a little embarrassing. I can easily accept that swinging a sword or shooting a missile is being done by me clicking a button as I’ve no other experience of doing either, but since I’m aware that making three correct dialogue choices and a cheeky button click only gets you laid in Newcastle it all seems a little contrived and pathetic to pretend that’s how it works in a game to me.

    • gwathdring says:

      I wish more games (and films for that matter) depicted extant relationships. A lot of creators seem to think that woo is the only dramatic part or that characters who don’t have drama between them are somehow uninteresting on the whole.

      This makes me sad.

    • gunny1993 says:

      Whilst I sort of agree, I don’t think its particularly relevant for Triss and Yen. You have a hell of a lot of history with both of them outside of the player control so it’s not 3 romance options from start to end, the 3 romance options decide whether you continue a deep and meaningful relationship that has existed for decades or not.

    • Booker says:

      I’m usually good with games that don’t have “romance options”, or whatever it’s called these days, but I thought they actually did a decent job in W3. It’s on par with what audiences are used to from movies/other stories and when it’s okay there, why shouldn’t it be okay in a game? Also, more importantly, it’s something that does justice to the characters. It’s not contrived and makes sense. I don’t think you can do more in such stories. They had almost the right amount, which made it positive too.

  13. jrodman says:

    When can we romance elk? Elk are people too.