Serious Sam 4 Drafts Talos Principle Writer

“ᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” is the only line of dialogue I can remember from any of the Serious Sam games.

Despite this, developers Croteam are bringing in some big wordguns for Serious Sam 4. Jonas Kyratzes, one of the writers of Croteam’s fine philosophical robopuzzler The Talos Principle, and development/life partner Verena Kyratzes will be writing the screenplay for the backpedalling FPS, the gang announced today. My spies have managed to reconstruct shredded early drafts salvaged from the office bins, and I’m excited to exclusively bring you a line of actual 100% real genuine SS4 dialogue.

Before that, here’s a quote from Jonas in the announcement:

“I was a fan of Serious Sam before I got to work with Croteam, so I must admit I was sort of hoping I might be involved with the next one if The Talos Principle went well. But more than that, we immediately clicked with the team, were treated like family, and really wanted to keep working with them. Going to Croatia and working in the office just confirmed that.”

While Verena says:

“I didn’t really expect to be doing this. At first I was just suggesting some ideas, some bits of dialogue, but eventually I ended up writing an entire draft of the script and working full-time with the team in Croatia. It was a very pleasant surprise, because ever since Talos, we’ve been good friends with the people at Croteam.”

Jonas was one of the two writers and narrative designers on The Talos Principle, along with Tom Jubert, while Verena worked on localisation. Verena and Jonas have made their own games together for years, most notably The Sea Will Claim Everything.

It’s been a fair while since we heard anything from Serious Sam 4. Last time we paid attention, Croteam were planning to release it by the end of 2014. Ah. Well then, hearing anything at all about it would have been good news, let alone this pleasant-but-puzzling development. And now, for that exclusive line of dialogue I promised – do bear in mind it was from an early draft:



  1. rustybroomhandle says:

    Philosophical Sam

    • Horg says:

      SAM, therefore I AM!

      • Mollusc Infestation says:

        You mean cogito ergo Sam?

        • krimhorn says:

          You presume he cogitates. I’m pretty sure he just reacts to the “ᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”s with “ᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”s of his own. ;)

  2. Megazell says:

    Serious Sam is a great series but story is not the reason why I play it. The action is just awesome for me. The silliness of it all and the amount and size of the monsters are all that matter. If they can add a great narrative to it – groovy but don’t be skimping on dat adrenaline.

    • MaxShadowz says:

      I think they’re trying to follow the trend set by “Wolfenstein: The New Order”

    • JonasKyratzes says:

      No worries, there are a LOT of monsters in Sam 4. And some of them are bloody HUGE.

      • krimhorn says:

        You presume he cogitates. I’m pretty sure he just reacts to the “ᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”s with “ᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”s of his own. ;)

      • Jackablade says:

        As long as we see a lot of monsters AT THE SAME TIME in Sam 4, I’ll give it a go.

  3. Kitsunin says:

    Well, even the less philosophical bits of Talos were really well written. So while I don’t see how great writing would benefit Serious Sam, I do look forward to seeing the results.

    • Urthman says:

      I can’t think of a game with actually great writing that isn’t made better by that writing.

      • Kitsunin says:

        Yup, this is why I’m looking forward to how it’ll take shape. Will it be another The New Order, or a new form of well-written action FPS?

      • GepardenK says:

        Depends on what you mean by “good writing”. Even extremely impressive writing can end up crippling the pacing or general gameplay of a game if it dosen’t flow well with it’s core elements.

        In the case of Sam, any moment that is not letting the player run around, explore or shoot at things is wasting the players time IMO. So the writing have to cater to that need I feel. What could really work is having Notorious Mental show up with a “Talos principle”-style God voice and taunt you along the way.

  4. Prolar Bear says:

    aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA yerself.

  5. Deadly Habit says:

    This level is lacking… add more Kleer HIRED

    • Giftmacher says:

      If I could remove one and only one monster from the overall gaming bestiary, it would be the Kleer.

      • LionsPhil says:

        I dunno, at least Kleer make you dance, and you have to because a group of them will carve you apart in seconds if you don’t. The monkeys in SS3 were both irritating and tedious, and if we’re opening up all games forever I’m sure there’s a whole world of Annoying Flying Things That Aren’t Even A Fun Challenge out there.

      • Deadly Sinner says:

        Mine would be bats, and all related flippy flappy creatures. I’ve never fought a bat in a game that wasn’t extremely annoying.

      • GepardenK says:

        I love to hate kleers! They are one of my favorite enemies in all of gaming yet I hope to God that each level I start don’t feature them (On Serious difficulty they can be terror incarnate depending on your current loadout)

        Their “HP vs Sam’s weapon damage” is pitch perfect. Nothing feels better than a well timed double-barrel shotgun instagib. And the “30 kleers vs Sam with shotgun” dance is a legendary experience when you start to get the hang of it.

  6. The_invalid says:

    I REALLY hope it’s something along the lines of entirely straight-faced philosophical musings on the absurdity of existence whilst being screamed at by 70 charging bomb dudes.
    That would actually be the best idea for a Serious Sam game ever and I would play the everloving crap out of it.

    • Urthman says:

      It’s about time somebody put the serious in Serious Sam.

    • Premium User Badge

      gritz says:

      This would be incredible. I am officially on board.

    • Y2Kafka says:

      We should record the story in “Dear Esher” and then play it back in the middle of a huge fight.

    • mukuste says:

      You can just see the reboot title: Actually Serious Sam.

  7. King in Winter says:

    My CSS-sense tingles about a distinct lack of word-break: break-all on this website.

  8. RedViv says:

    Serious Sam: The New aaaAaaAAAAArder

  9. GameCat says:

    I want aaaaa moving story about aaaaAAAA, the father of aaaaAAAA Jr. and husband of Mrs. aaaaAAAA forced to leave his home to fight with muscle manicac with guns.

    • EhexT says:

      Wasn’t that basically the pre-relase marketing videos for Serious Sam 3?

  10. Skabooga says:

    Two years ago, if you had told me that the Kyratzes would be doing the writing for Serious Sam 4, I would have laughed in your face. Even now, with the benefit of seeing the connections that led to this coming to be, I’m still likely to at least giggle while standing obliquely at your side.

  11. Distec says:

    I’m unclear of the development timelines, but I was under the impression that Serious Sam 4 (or at least parts of it) morphed into Talos Principle when they realized they could just make a game with PUZZLE LAZERZ.

    • GepardenK says:

      Kinda. They got they idea for The Talos Principle while prototyping puzzles for Serious Sam 4. Talos became a side project and later grew in size when they saw what potential was there. I don’t know of any official word on it but it’s pretty clear that Sam4 was put on hold to give Talos the resources needed to ship.

  12. cpy says:

    Kleers come out to plaaaaaaayyyyyy!

  13. MrFinnishDude says:

    -Everyone on Mondays

    • GepardenK says:

      Yes. This is what Beheaded Kamikazes remind me of. Mondays.

  14. Giftmacher says:

    Descartes was a pretty SERIOUS thinker.

  15. dahools says:

    Sam doesn’t need better writing. All he needs is an Eye patch, a bionic arm and a pet called he calls S Snail, to take on the hoards of Mental!

  16. Einsammler says:

    There was actually a lot of writing in Serious Sam 1. Completely ignorable, but the 14 New Messages icon would blink patiently in the corner of the screen while you circle-strafed.

    From the wiki: “the writeup is much more detailed than the Serious Sam 3 version, as it shows off data such as weight, height and metabolism (the latter for enemies only).

    Locations receive much more detailed information this time around. Whenever Serious Sam enters a new location, NETRICSA will show text relating to the new location, and how it relates to Sam’s current goal. In addition, NETRICSA can analyze areas Sam is in independently of him and draw it’s own conclusions”

    • aoanla says:

      Yeah, I’m honestly a little surprised that people are reacting as if there’s never been any writing in Serious Sam. I mean, it’s definitely kept out of your way in the messages system, so you can ignore it if you want to, but I really enjoyed all the background stuff in Serious Sam 1. It’s deliberately enjoying itself, in a way that dates it to a particular era, but it’s still a nice touch.

      • LionsPhil says:

        It was a lot more up-front in 2, as was NETRICSA. I actually kinda liked the broad strokes of it—Sam actually leads a charge against MENTAL for once, rather than fannying about playing time shenangians. But, dear god, it was zany and awkard in the details.

        • Jackablade says:

          I didn’t mind the zanyness. By comparisson, Serious Sam 3 wasn’t nearly zany enough for my tastes. Even once it stopped pretending to be a Call of Duty style game it never really recovered the personality and humour that the previous games had.

          • LionsPhil says:

            Yes, I think the first probably had the balance best (unsurprisingly).

            It did hurt the feel of some weapons, though. That revolving shotgun thing was just awful. At least the double-barrelled one made up for it. And the grenades, which worked really well as an offhand attack for when you’ve got a group clustered up. I did like it.

      • GepardenK says:

        The background information on enemies in Serious Sam First/Second encounter was great. Read like race descriptions pulled right out of Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy

  17. Nereus says:

    Please make Sam into a seriously brooding character, like the Arkham games or Hatred. Keep the bright absurd settings though. The only thing that would make Serious Sam greater would be if the character was actually trying to be serious in a world that really isn’t.