Jim emailed the other day. “Galactic Hitman appears to be the worst game on Steam, by Steam reviews. Might be worth a look?” The cunning temptress. Of course that’s worth a look. But what to expect? Mediocrity to which people have overreacted? Revenge reviews because the game had a girl in it? Nope. Just a stupendeously dreadful game. I videoed myself playing it from start to finish – in forty-six minutes. And then edited out the filler to halve that length. You can see it in all its glory below.
Perhaps when prolific developers Digital Homicide Studios heard the phrase, “a corridor shooter”, they took it rather more literally than most. Galactic Hitman, which does not appear to be a game about a hitman, takes place in a corridor. Oh, okay, I’ll be fair – three variants on a corridor.
Enemies don’t move, other than to suggestively wave their hands up and down in front of their groins. Ammo is essentially unlimited, levels are about five minutes long, doors open onto solid walls, crouching makes you nearly invincible… oh, don’t let me spoil all the magic. Have a watch:
Admittedly the game does only cost £1.59, but even so, that remains about £400 million over where it should be.