Professional snooker is the most gentlemanly of sports, played in actual theatres by sullen men wearing bow-ties and waistcoats. The snooker I know is played in campsite entertainment rooms with Black Lace’s Agadoo blasting, where Bigger Kids block the pockets with empty Coke cans to hog the table all afternoon off one twenty pence piece. The snooker DLC for Pure Pool [official site] sadly is neither of these, set in the same swanky ball club.
Pure Pool may not be the best pool game, but it is one of the shiniest. If you want to snook it up too, the DLC’s out now.
The DLC’s Steam page explains that £2.99 will buy you “a full career mode for all difficulty levels; Amateur, Pro and Master, two new snooker challenge modes and specific trophies, achievements and snooker accolades.” No, you won’t find astonished commentary from John Virgo or off-colour jokes from Jim Davidson.
Actually, I probably would be up for a Big Break game, complete with all its wacky modes and trickshots. They made a Big Break board game back in the day but it’s not very snooky. No, a video game could really do this justice. It’s such a weird idea, using snooker as the basis for a game show, and I dig what it did with it. A video game could push it further too, less bound by the realities of snooker tables. I’d never turn down an opportunity to win a pair of Chinese table lamps, a teddy bear phone, and £310.
Er, as for ball-potting games which do exist, I hear good about Virtual Pool 4 which comes with snooker and loads of other ball games built-in. Anyway, look at this snookin’: