Epic Announce Mystery New PC Game Named Paragon

No idea what this is yet, but Epic – they of Unreal and Gears of War – have just announced something brand new and PC-only called Paragon, and due for release next year. They’re saying almost nothing, but they have released a short video of a dude with a gun and some robo-hands. However, there’s talk of ‘heroes’ so I’m guessing it’s not going to be a singleplayer shooter – perhaps something more akin to Blizzard’s Overwatch? Or even to ex-Epic bigwig Cliff Bleszinski’s Lawbreakers?

The website offers the line “Discover a new hero each week and unlock unique in-game items”, so we can probably take an educated guess as to how it’ll be structured, even if we don’t know whether it’s a shooter or a moba yet. All we have to go on are the heroes’ names: Twinblast, Steel, Sparrow and Grux, all of which sound a bit like Transformers to me. Chance would be a fine thing. Reveals will follow for the others later, but here’s what Twinblast looks like:

A little bit like Tom Cruise cosplaying Big Boss, I guess? Metal hands aside, can’t say he’s doing anything for me given there are thousands of videogames which star exactly that guy already, but hopefully we’ll see more variety from the rest of the roster.

You can also sign up for a beta, but there are no dates as yet.

So, yeah. A thing is happening. Has guns. Will probably do quite well for itself. Epic are also working on a new version of Unreal Tournament – I’m going to go out on a limb and presume this is not a shock rebrand.


  1. Evil Pancakes says:

    Judging purely by what is written in this article and the knowledge of what Epic games does well, my guess it is going in a similar direction that Cliffy B.’s Law Breakers is taking.

  2. RedViv says:

    Woah, now that’s a risky opening. Gun-toting short-haired square-jawed white dude? That trend’s never gonna catch on.

    • caff says:

      Brilliant video! Shows me a lot about the game. INSTABUY. Where can I pre-order for epic bonus DLC?

      • emotionengine says:

        How quaint. DLC is, like, sooo passé. I take it you were referring to the exclusive FOUNDER’s skin and LIMITED EDITION awesomesauce items.

    • SuicideKing says:

      UNREAL levels of realism!

    • BooleanBob says:

      2015 is a weird place to be in. Gaming has been so stagnating for so long that criticism of the stagnation is too. I’m tired of being tired of this sort of game, I’m tired of other people being tired of this sort of game, but not nearly as much as I am just so tired of this sort of game. Ennuis are starting to overlap.

  3. mukuste says:

    I don’t think they could have come up with a more generic Guns McBro had they tried.

    Seriously, is it the 90’s still?

    • LexW1 says:

      For goddamn serious…

      That guy is STAGGERINGLY generic. Everything about him is as safe and dull as humanly possible.

      If we have to deal four+ competing F2P “FPS-MOBAs” being shoved in our faces for the next five+ years I am going to be pretty sad. If Epic’s record is anything to go by this one will either be sunk by it’s utter genericness, or capture the bros-who-love-creepy-misogyny-and-mindless-ultra-machismo market that Gears of War (and God of War, but that’s not Epic’s fault) did. I kind of feel we might be past that point in history though.

      • Turin Turambar says:

        Five for now, if I’m not mistaken

        Paladins (new Hirez game)

        Gigantic is similar, but third person!

        • Evil Pancakes says:

          Dirty Bomb kind of fits this category as well.

        • mukuste says:


          and then I play that one.

        • EhexT says:

          Overwatch isn’t a Moba. It’s a straight TF2 clone from before TF2 got ruined by loadouts and endless balance ignoring items: Capture the objective and escort the payload modes, as well as a variety of characters with different weapons. It doesn’t have creeps. It doesn’t have NPCs. It doesn’t have lanes.

          • LexW1 says:

            It’s not a MOBA, but it is a rather MOBA-ish FPS, what with your single weapon, infinite ammo, ultimate and so on. It’s rather different to TF2, and not in a good way.

        • LexW1 says:

          Oh Christ.

          I didn’t realize there were so many. And it’s hard to even visually distinguish them – certainly Battleborn, Overwatch and Paladins are identical. Gigantic looks like someone took the same basic idea and ditched Pixar and replaced it with, well, something classier and more elegant (so I guess, that’s kind of a good thing?).

          I mean, if this is representative, this and Lawbreakers will be hard to distinguish too.

          Dirty Bomb looks kind of different, but it’s more of a true TF2 rip-off and less MOBA-influenced, at least as I understand it.

          • Evil Pancakes says:

            I don’t understand why people just keep comparing Dirty Bomb to TF2. They’re nothing alike, except for the objective based shooter bit. Dirty Bomb is more like Enemy Territory with Dota’ish heroes that each fit in one of four class roles.

          • LionsPhil says:

            Yeah, Dirty Bomb is That One Game Splash Damage Keep Making Over And Over. (And, credit to them, it’s a pretty good game, even if it never really seems to catch like wildfire—Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory was the most successful incarnation AFAIK; Quake Wars seemed to sink, and Brink got critically roasted.)

      • rollermint says:

        Goddamn, even liking games that simply feature physically strong male characters are considered “misogynistic” now?

        • LexW1 says:

          Wow, that’s an old-skool strawman there! Haven’t seen one like that for a while.

          It’s perfectly possible to like American-style hyper-masculine characters without liking misogyny, and I didn’t suggest otherwise. Just that those two games have big problems with it. And Cliffy B is deeply clueless about it.

          That said, liking games which have creepy misogynistic plots makes one a potentially a misogynist – or more likely utterly oblivious to misogyny, and more importantly, creeps me the hell out. I mean, there’s no real way to argue around the extreme misogyny (beyond even the game’s general extreme anti-social/sociopathic misanthropy) in God of War, so we’ll just skip over that one. That’s just a creepy game.

          But with Gears of War the issue is that as Cliffy B himself explained, is that the reason there are so few women in it, is because they are all in what basically sound like rape camps, but let’s very generously call them “baby-making camps”, where they are required to continuously make more babies so those babies can grow up to be soldiers to fight the Locust. Which makes absolutely no sense (that’s not how wars work, or humans, or babies), but whatever. To add to the extreme creepiness, the only reason the female soldier is allowed to be a soldier is because she’s sterile. Let’s not even get started on the Locust Queen stuff.

          If that doesn’t seem creepy as hell to you then you probably don’t really care about or notice misogyny in games. Which y’know, is what it is.

          Calling the characters in Gears of War merely “physically strong”, though, is playing silly-beggars. They’re steroid-pumped freaks. These guys are bulkier than people who can bench 600lbs, let alone normally huge dudes. The Rock or Arnie look pretty wimpy standing next to them. Kratos’ design isn’t anywhere near as extreme.

          That doesn’t mean you can’t like them – but they’re not “physically strong”, they’re a specifically American brand of male-oriented hypermasculinity (one that goes far beyond cultural norms in most of the world), and represent a different physical ideal to the “strong guy”.

          • Evil Pancakes says:

            But Gears of War is a real game, for real men, about a real war, with real guns. (I’m so sorry.)

            Sidenote: I was unnaware of that particular piece of background lore from the Gears games. That is some pretty messed us shit.
            I still like the first game in the series though.

          • LexW1 says:

            Chainsaw-bayonets*, guns that go bang instead of pew and the brown-est of “real war is brown” palettes *prove* it’s about real men and real war!

            Certainly makes Halo’s mild macho-ness look like MLP by comparison. I mean, you can wear pink and fire lasers and crystal guns for god’s sake! Or drive a cute purple hovercycle! Just thinking about it is draining the steroids and bull-testosterone from my system!

            One might be able to forgive that bit of “lore” if it’d been an off-the-cuff Cliffy B remark (he is a known idiot), not followed up on, but GoW3 explicitly canonized it (replete with the whole sterility deal – she didn’t choose to fight, she had to because she couldn’t do her baby-making job… I mean jesus fuck what, talk about bare-foot and pregnant in the kitchen), and GoW books expanded on it (in a deeply unattractive way – not surprising given the author).

            * = Amazingly there are still self-described “Gears of War fans” who are very upset that the female soldier is allowed to use a chainsaw bayonet, claiming that it’s ridiculous or silly. Because obviously nothing else about GoW is ridiculous or silly, right? Jesus.

          • Distec says:

            Yeah, I don’t think this is as big a strawman as you’d like it to be. You first post:

            “…or capture the bros-who-love-creepy-misogyny-and-mindless-ultra-machismo market that Gears of War (and God of War, but that’s not Epic’s fault) did.”

            There – right there – you are castigating a target market as “bros who love creepy misogyny”. Your follow-up rant about how icky GOW is looks like a weaseling backtrack.

          • LexW1 says:

            Given I mentioned Gears of War as an example of creepy misogynist bro-games, and I did not mention “physically strong characters” (nor even imply them) in my first post, you are going to have to explain how that is “back-tracking”.

            Seriously, do explain.

    • rabbit says:

      To be fair, I don’t really see how Jensen is any less generic gun bro d00d

      • instantcoffe says:

        That is all.

      • LexW1 says:

        He had a weird Elizabethan-style beard and was generally a bit less macho-seeming than characters of his era, to the point where an article was written not long ago where he was discussed how his physicality was “queer”, rather than trad-cis-hetero-masculine – I disagree, but it’s clearly a different masculinity from say, most US-developed shooters of the era.

        But really dat beard. That beard alone took ten times more risks than the above design does.

        (It is also literally Elizabethan-style – the whole visual style of the clothes/accessories/hair was inspired by the Elizabethan era.)

  4. Trent Hawkins says:

    Renegade fo life!

  5. suibhne says:

    Epic hasn’t done anything relevant on the PC since UT3, and even that was a pale shadow of UT2k4. This hardly looks like the project to turn that around.

  6. Psychomorph says:

    We all know how it’s gonna end.

    • rabbit says:

      Cutting to black mid-scene & open to audience interpretation?

  7. denizsi says:

    You can tell that it was pretty much some clueless moron wearing a suit sitting all day doing nothing who came up with this and/or made it happen.

    • LexW1 says:

      Pfffft, no. This is more likely down to some bro-ish bunch of brogrammers and bro-signers (it’s a word now!) deciding to make something “totally kewl”. High-fives, chest-bumps and brewskis all around!

      I’m not sure Epic even has any proper suits in charge.

  8. Frank says:

    Doesn’t Epic still owe us a riff on Minecraft? Let’s look forward to that instead, shall we?

  9. Ejia says:

    Surprise! It’s really Jazz Jackrabbit 3D.

    • Cinek says:

      3D? Meh, it’d end like a worms 3D. I’d much rather have a 2D version with a high res graphics. I’d pre-order that in a heartbeat.

  10. Hobbes says:

    So… Deus Ex: Human Revolution crashes into The Fast and The Furious and what we get is Vin Diesel mixed with Adam Jensen.

    … I never asked for this.

  11. therighttoarmbears says:

    Have not watched video, do not care what info has actually been revealed, wish only to speculate on content based on the picture at the top. So:
    You are Brock McStuffins, former security guard for shadowy paramilitary and amoral experimental human augmentation company CyberFine (motto: “protecting tomorrow’s today through synergistic selective human reduction”), on a quest to get vengeance against the Company who did you wrong. Your arms have been replaced with red jello molds in the shape of arms, and your penis has been replaced with an upward-facing selfie cam. Arms can be upgraded to different flavors of jello (different weapon proficiencies) or eaten to hasten recovery of health. Aiming with jello arms is hard as they are wobbly. All narrative elements are procedurally generated based on the final color you use to solve match-three games that are strategically placed throughout the level you’re in (for example, toward the end of the level set in the new neon casino/ironic retro soda fountain in the Venice plaza if you solve the puzzle with green gems and there were no kills of hominids you learn that, say, the Kardashians were funneling money into a cult attempting to call The Black Goat into existence and end up chasing that story line the the next pseudo-randomly chosen place, but if you used red gems or killed any bipedal life forms then you fork down a different road involving a conspiracy by Cracker Barrel to poison developing world water supplies to corner the market on grits production). If you die (which you will, because jello arms), all progress is lost. Your character has a breathtaking range of facial expression as visualized from below, via selfie cam.

  12. Czrly says:

    One thing is certain: there will be Death Blossoms. (If you don’t know what those are, go watch the Infiltrator short that they made with their cool engine.)