Fallout 4: Around The World With Michael Radiatin’

Beginning a new diary series, which will end upon my character’s first death.

I have already played through Fallout 4 [official site]’s campaign, which led me through a great many places in the central area of its large Massachusetts map, but only a handful on its periphery. There is so much more still to see, but I’m increasingly finding that my level 30 character suffers from usual Bethesda game curse of premature godliness, and fear that further exploration would simply mean routine clean-up. So, time to start anew, and add fresh spanners into otherwise over-familiar works.

As a lad, I thrilled to the globetrotting adventures of the absurdly avuncular Michael Palin, formerly of Monty Python and the sadly overlooked Ripping Yarns. Around The World In 80 Days, Pole To Pole and Full Circle were full of warmth and curiosity, and to my young, pre-internet eyes revelatory about world culture. They are charming and fascinating and quietly probing even today. So, my plan to see the outer edges of the Commonwealth will be a tribute to Palin, starring Palin. Or as close as I could get to him, at least – sadly I couldn’t find a ‘twinkly eyes’ option. Meet Michael Radiatin’:

Michael is going to go around Fallout 4’s world in an indeterminate number of days. He must always follow the periphery of the map, able to diverge slightly from it only if an item of interest appears very close by. He will never see Diamond City, Goodneighbour or Sanctuary. What he will see, I cannot yet say.

Just like his BBC-sponsored namesake, Michael is not naturally a man of violence, nor is he chasing a missing son, and nor does he have pockets full of assorted technology. In fact, he has precisely nothing:

All items and clothing were left outside Vault 111’s exit, then he was moved to the most North-Westerly corner of the map and as far as Michael knows, this is where and how his journey begins. No weapons other than his fists, and not a Cap to his name. He can use only what he finds in his travels, and can only buy from traders he encounters on said travels – which is likely to be few, unless an unknown city does exist on one of the furthest reaches of the map. Michael really hopes he finds some clothes soon.

I have given Michael Radiatin’ these stats, based loosely on what I perceive Palin’s characteristics to be:

Essentially, a whole lot of charm, fairly intelligent, a reasonable amount of endurance (given how many world journeys he undertook), a tiny bit of agility and diddly-squat strength, perception and luck. (I did think about giving him tons of luck, but frankly Palin’s successes have been backed up by both a Python and a BBC budget for so long that surely luck doesn’t come into it).

A further condition: if Michael dies, he dies. That’s it. Game, and diary series, over. So avoiding combat is surely a necessity, as a naked man will struggle to punch even the most lowly bandit to death. I don’t know what’s out there. I don’t know if Michael can cope with it, especially as I have also set the difficulty to Hard. The one compromise I have made for him is to begin the journey by going East rather than South, as previous experience tells me that I will end up in a lethally radioactive quagmire before too long otherwise. I should at least give the guy a shot at finding some anti-rad meds or a hazmat suit first.

Around the world. Never straying from the edge. There and back again. Full squared circle. And off we go.

31 Comments

  1. MrFinnishDude says:

    Oh wow! Looks just like him!

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      Gnarl says:

      Indeed. There’s a job waiting at virtual Tussaud’s for if this all falls through. Great idea also.

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    Wisq says:

    Predictions on how long this will last? I would not be surprised (but would be saddened) if this only lasted a single episode before he gets eaten.

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      Andy_Panthro says:

      Most of these diary series don’t last very long, so perhaps the dangerous nature of this one works in it’s favour.

      • melnificent says:

        At this point it’s more a case of guessing how many episodes to abandonment.

        I like to think of them as the written equivalent of fireflys cancellation.

    • Palindrome says:

      Especially as I just found a pack of Deathclaws near the edge of the map that poor Michael will soon be traversing…

      • xyberviri says:

        There is a crashed vertibird with a powerarmor suit at the northern edge of the map, more specifically NE of the robot disposal area where the molerats like to hang out. theres also a scavanger on the northern edge of the map too.

    • NotchbackFiero says:

      Yeah, as you travel East or South the enemy difficulty ramps up.

      Unrelated, but who ever had the job of positioning all the skeletons? They really liked their job. And it’s very morbid.

      • cqdemal says:

        I just saw a skeleton slumped at his office desk, holding a cup of tea with rat poison next to the pot.

        Oh boy, I let out a chuckle for the brilliance of whoever did it but this is rather grim.

      • Jackablade says:

        Perhaps a little too much.
        link to pbs.twimg.com

      • saturnine says:

        Christ, have you seen the mannequins too? There was this one room in Concord, skeletons with mannequins, that made me think of that room in Bioshock all over again. Freaked the fuck out of me.

        • cqdemal says:

          The mannequins are freaky as hell. That room in Concord is a silent jump scare as good as any loud one for me. I literally muttered rude words and fired a round or two in there.

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        Gnarl says:

        My favourite so far was the two I found holding each other’s necks in front of a safe. Though 5 notes, a pistol and some ammunition didn’t seem worth it. Ah, leveled loot.

        • cqdemal says:

          On a similar note, I also saw a woman holding a bag and some bundles of cash in her grasp, lying dead on a broken highway like she died while desperately running away from the jammed traffic.

    • Cinek says:

      An alternative option is that he will run around the entire map in a single episode ;)

      • Anaphiel says:

        It’d be possible to do it it one sitting… I jogged from Concord to the Bunker Hill monument in less than six minutes (that’s 20-ish miles in real life). The overworld map is appallingly small.

    • NephilimNexus says:

      Indeed. I remember my first ever trip into ARK, especially since it too starts you off standing in the middle of nowhere in your underware.

      I made it less than five minutes before a giant scorpion spawned right next to me and killed my avatar in about two hits.

      I can’t imagine Fallout being any more forgiving.

    • Danarchist says:

      Having gone on an exploratory myself I can tell you about 1/3rd of the way down the eastern side of the map he is going to get murdered by a bug swarm of epic proportions. I did it in power armor and lasted just long enough to try and sprint away. He’s not gonna make it two steps lol

  3. shrieki says:

    its funny last night i started the same tour. my plan wasnt going around the whole map though. just wanted to explore the northern frontier.
    i made almost half way pretty quickly but it wasnt just walking in the park.there seems to be a lot of content even in those fringe parts of the map…

    • Cleave says:

      Yeah the north east is full of rad scorpions and deathclaws, not the friendliest place.

  4. TacticalNuclearPenguin says:

    You’ll go southwest and die of radiation in episode 2.

    • OscarWilde1854 says:

      Scrolled down to say exactly this… No way he survives the southwestern most corner. That intense radiation and the mutated enemies that come with it. I wonder how he plans to handle the fact the border isn’t “square” down there, and you can keep walking.

  5. Grovester says:

    I hope this will be like the Long Dark diary which read like this:

    Day 1: Got eaten by a wolf

    Restart

    Day 1: Got in a blizzard, froze to death

    Restart

    Day 1: Found a cabin, ate some soup
    Day 2: Got eaten by a wolf

    Restart

    Day 1: Got chased by a wolf, fell off a cliff

    Etc.

    Made me go straight out and buy it.

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      teije says:

      Isn’t the Long Dark great? I’ve never had such fun freezing and lost in a blizzard. And living in rural Canada, I applaud the wonderful depiction of snowy climes – the driving snow & wind, the white-gray blankness of a calm whiteout where everything merges into another.

      • Grovester says:

        You live in rural Canada and you play The Long Dark? That’s like me playing a survival game where I have to get the 7:45 train to Waterloo and then spend a day in an office.

        But yes, I love TLD, but go through phases of hating it, mainly when I do something stupid and die. Last time, in a 46 day game, I went exploring, didn’t take any tinder, blundered into a snowstorm, got hypothermia and after an heroic 24 hour struggle to stay alive in a shelter, got eaten by a wolf. Still annoyed about that.

        And I wish Fallout 4 was a bit more TLD-like. Why can’t I open the boot/trunk of a car and see what’s inside? Why can’t I get into the car? Why don’t I have to cure the animal hides?

  6. kderby42 says:

    I predict death by wild dogs in the first 20 minutes

  7. thinkforaminute says:

    I look forward to reading more about Mr. Radiatin’s adventures. Just stay away from any cave dwelling rabbits.