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Fallout 4: Around The World With Michael Radiatin'

A Fallout 4 diary, day 1

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Beginning a new diary series, which will end upon my character’s first death.

I have already played through Fallout 4 [official site]’s campaign, which led me through a great many places in the central area of its large Massachusetts map, but only a handful on its periphery. There is so much more still to see, but I’m increasingly finding that my level 30 character suffers from usual Bethesda game curse of premature godliness, and fear that further exploration would simply mean routine clean-up. So, time to start anew, and add fresh spanners into otherwise over-familiar works.

As a lad, I thrilled to the globetrotting adventures of the absurdly avuncular Michael Palin, formerly of Monty Python and the sadly overlooked Ripping Yarns. Around The World In 80 Days, Pole To Pole and Full Circle were full of warmth and curiosity, and to my young, pre-internet eyes revelatory about world culture. They are charming and fascinating and quietly probing even today. So, my plan to see the outer edges of the Commonwealth will be a tribute to Palin, starring Palin. Or as close as I could get to him, at least – sadly I couldn’t find a ‘twinkly eyes’ option. Meet Michael Radiatin’:

Michael is going to go around Fallout 4’s world in an indeterminate number of days. He must always follow the periphery of the map, able to diverge slightly from it only if an item of interest appears very close by. He will never see Diamond City, Goodneighbour or Sanctuary. What he will see, I cannot yet say.

Just like his BBC-sponsored namesake, Michael is not naturally a man of violence, nor is he chasing a missing son, and nor does he have pockets full of assorted technology. In fact, he has precisely nothing:

All items and clothing were left outside Vault 111’s exit, then he was moved to the most North-Westerly corner of the map and as far as Michael knows, this is where and how his journey begins. No weapons other than his fists, and not a Cap to his name. He can use only what he finds in his travels, and can only buy from traders he encounters on said travels – which is likely to be few, unless an unknown city does exist on one of the furthest reaches of the map. Michael really hopes he finds some clothes soon.

I have given Michael Radiatin’ these stats, based loosely on what I perceive Palin’s characteristics to be:

Essentially, a whole lot of charm, fairly intelligent, a reasonable amount of endurance (given how many world journeys he undertook), a tiny bit of agility and diddly-squat strength, perception and luck. (I did think about giving him tons of luck, but frankly Palin’s successes have been backed up by both a Python and a BBC budget for so long that surely luck doesn’t come into it).

A further condition: if Michael dies, he dies. That’s it. Game, and diary series, over. So avoiding combat is surely a necessity, as a naked man will struggle to punch even the most lowly bandit to death. I don’t know what’s out there. I don’t know if Michael can cope with it, especially as I have also set the difficulty to Hard. The one compromise I have made for him is to begin the journey by going East rather than South, as previous experience tells me that I will end up in a lethally radioactive quagmire before too long otherwise. I should at least give the guy a shot at finding some anti-rad meds or a hazmat suit first.

Around the world. Never straying from the edge. There and back again. Full squared circle. And off we go.

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Alec Meer

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Co-founder of RPS. Dungeon Keeper & X-COM 4 Life.

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