Look, don’t even bother reading this. I’ll tell you what most of Team RPS are doing this weekend: coughing and weeping and groaning and wailing in their sickbeds, because they are weak. Yeah, I’ll go on public record saying that. They are weak, and I am strong. I could beat up their dads too. What are you playing this weekend, anyway?
I’ve been as sick as a dog all week. And not one of those sleek-coated Lassie-hounds that clutter up Crufts. I’m more like the mangy mongrel eating its own upchuck round the back of an Aldi. That means I’ve missed out on a lot of gaming time, having been too weak to look at a screen. I intend to make up for that by playing some of the things that I love over the weekend. That means Jagged Alliance 2 (recently reinstalled), XCOM: Enemy Within (never quite finished) and STALKER: Shadow of Chernobyl (it’s my Fallout 4). I’m also going to be chasing down the last few beer bottles in Assassin’s Creed Syndicate, because that is the kind of person I have become.
I am playing ‘repeatedly and suddenly evacuate my body of all fluids.’ Kill me.
I shall be licking bus handrails, drinking out the taps in pub toilets, sucking lurid snot from the nostrils of ill young maidens, then stroll away laughing, the perfect figure of health, invincible. I’ll bury the lot of you.
I shall also play Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth, because that’s the thing I do when I’m alive, which I probably will be forever, given how strong I am. I WILL BURY YOU.
Subterfuge continues and has reached the stage where it’s beginning to possess all my time. My goal in the match isn’t to win, but to try to survive while being a decent person. A “no betrayal” playthrough of these kinds of games is harder than a “no kill” playthrough of Deus Ex, I think. Sadly, Adam was autoresigned for idleness at the start of the week due to unavoidable absences. His factories remain on the board, unmoving.
[He broke his weekend silence last week, but John has once again fallen quiet. I assume he’s ill, just like the rest of them.
Reader dear, could you describe to me a Rube Goldberg machine that’d make the same awful sequence of noises as John is making right now? -ed.]
I’m sick at the moment because airplanes. If I’m less gross by Saturday I’m down to watch a Star Wars X-wing miniatures tournament. I will be making up my own lore which is the sort of thing I gather Star Wars fans are fine with :D if I am not less gross I will be investigating puzzle games and rewatching Gossip Girl.
But you, dearest reader, what are you playing?