Not Child Safe: Who’s Your Daddy Looks Wackyfun

The duties of a game dad usually entail smashing in the teeth of anyone so much as looks at your daughter figure, but Who’s Your Daddy takes a far more realistic approach. The two-player asymmetric multiplayer game will have a game dad rushing about trying to child-proof a home while the baby crawls about trying to find ways to injure itself. Drinking soap is always a safe bet, and maybe you can pop yourself in the oven. Oh sure, the game looks all sorts of janky, but it’s a charming idea. Observe:

To recap in written word form: inside a non-babyproofed house, a dad must rush to lock cabinets, turn off dangerous appliances, tidy away dangerous things, cover plug sockets, and generally try to keep an eye on baby, while the little tyke is hell-bent on harming itself through drowning, scalding, poisoning, electrocution, or whatever else they can figure out. Curious little things, babies. It’s got a touch of wonkyphysics too, for comedic effect. Completing chores can give the dad power-ups as well.

I am unreasonably pleased by the moment in that gameplay video when the baby tries to keep the oven both closed and turned on despite the dad’s best efforts. It’s like those Counter-Strike rounds comically stalled by players battling over opening and closing doors, only with a baby in an oven.

You can download an alpha version for Windows and Mac over here.

It’s a simple idea which began as a gag, but it looks a bit of a lark. Zany games often try to coast on wackiness alone, but I’m into the idea of hide-and-seek-and-hide-the-bleach. Having already succeeded on Kickstarter, Who’s Your Daddy is now having a crack at Steam Greenlight. Expect it to launch in “early 2016”.

36 Comments

Top comments

  1. sfoumatou says:

    I played this with a friend for an hour or so and even though the game is in a very early Alpha and only one room of the house is properly playable, we both agreed it was the most fun we'd had in a long time.

    You think you have everything under control, then your opponent bursts into an evil laugh. You look around desperately; WHERE IS THE BABY?! Oh, there he is, making a mad dash for the power outlet, holding a fork. The next moment, it's all over, and you are weeping.
  1. sfoumatou says:

    I played this with a friend for an hour or so and even though the game is in a very early Alpha and only one room of the house is properly playable, we both agreed it was the most fun we’d had in a long time.

    You think you have everything under control, then your opponent bursts into an evil laugh. You look around desperately; WHERE IS THE BABY?! Oh, there he is, making a mad dash for the power outlet, holding a fork. The next moment, it’s all over, and you are weeping.

  2. christmas duck says:

    Putting in a request now for an eventual “Wot I Think” featuring at least one of RPS’s resident actual dads.

    • Flavour Beans says:

      Strongly seconded. Just reading the above description of the game had be giggling a bit too much.

  3. Kefren says:

    Reminds me of Mad Nurse on the C64. link to youtube.com

  4. Premium User Badge

    Minsc_N_Boo says:

    Currently crying at my desk at work *Baby + oven = Lolz*

  5. LionsPhil says:

    The passive antagonism of this is an interesting mechanism. It doesn’t look like Dad can just carry the baby away from peril and imprison him in a crib or anything, and his safing tasks seem to require enough one-item inventory management to prevent him from just following it everywhere too. Playing as the baby looks like the weirdest kinda asymmetric stealth game.

  6. unacom says:

    Having walked the walk three times. I can safely say:
    a) your coplayer probably won´t even find half the things a real baby will.
    b) you´re not safe even if you “crib” your little treasure, while he/she´s sleeping.
    c) Babyproofing your house is factually impossible.
    Otherwise looks good. Maybe I´ll give it a try. A friend of mine still has to reach that stage in life -so I´ll give him nightmares early on. Should do him good.

    • melnificent says:

      I have two kids with 5 years between them. They will always find some way to subvert “babyproofing”
      The older one would put things into the cot then climb in and help her get out. I wouldn’t mind, but she wasn’t even old enough to walk.

    • jonahcutter says:

      Long-term psychological issues notwithstanding, a welded-on heavy iron collar and chain work wonders.

      No picking the locks and escaping from under the stairs for my little bundles of joy.

  7. GameCat says:

    The child model is very good at capturing the ugliness and weirdness of toddlers.

    • mattevansc3 says:

      On a pedantic, technical note as the baby is only crawling its not a toddler. Toddlers are far scarier, if a baby is a T-800 a toddler is a T-1000.

    • GWOP says:

      You are wrong. All babies are beautiful.

  8. Neutrino says:

    “The duties of a game dad usually entail smashing in the teeth of anyone so much as looks at your daughter figure”

    If anyone had trotted out any similarly disparaging female stereotypes here the foaming at the mouth self-righteous indignation would have known no bounds.

    Luckily blokes aren’t so uptight about a bit of light jibing so you’re alright.

    • DrollRemark says:

      Ah yes, those well-known computer video game mother stereotypes. Of which there are many.

    • Niko says:

      I’m now imagining you sitting on the guard tower with binoculars, scanning the horizon for those foaming at the mouth self-righteous. “It’s a tough and thankless job,” – you mutter, “but somebody’s gotta do it.”

    • Canazza says:

      I actually had to double-take when I read ‘Dad’ in that, cause that’s exactly the kind of shit my Mum did when I was a toddler.

    • Alice O'Connor says:

      Thank you for writing a comment informing me that you’re not at all upset about the joke you misunderstood because you can take a joke and it’s fine. I appreciate you taking the time despite not being at all bothered – if I’m honest, I had been fretting about how you might respond.

      • Neutrino says:

        Not sure what you think I misunderstood. The image of the dim witted over protective knuckle dragging father for whom violence is the first port of call when it comes to protecting his daughter’s innocence is a stereotype as old as the hills. Did you employ some subtle and brilliant finessing of the trope that I missed, or is this just an attempt at a put down?

        At any rate let’s hope we can be equally sanguine the next time a MOBA is reviewed where the majority of the female characters are physically attractive.

        • Alice O'Connor says:

          You missed the “game” in “game dad”. It’s a joke about the stereotype, not yer da.

          • Josh W says:

            I’d say it’s a joke using the stereotype, rather than a joke about it, in the same way as “girls like clothes too much amiright?” is just using the stereotype rather than making any kind of reference to it.

            So yeah, no moral high ground today, but you can’t have it everyday, it’s like some kind of slippy beach rock, seaweedy and wobbling.

    • jamhov says:

      Making a joke at the expense of a disparaging stereotype is one of the ways to defeat or marginalize said stereotype.

  9. DrollRemark says:

    As I said to my friend when he posted this video yesterday, clearly the Dad’s winning move should have been to lock the oven door and then turn it off.

    • Canazza says:

      Not played it, but if I were the dev I’d make the inside of a locked oven a suffocation zone.

    • richlamp says:

      That’s what I was thinking. Although I’m not sure if that would be considered “good parenting”.

    • Dominitus says:

      Although it makes no sense, it looks as if the baby was turning the oven on from inside? In which case locking the oven from the outside would cause the dad to lose.

    • gwathdring says:

      You’re forgetting about how lungs work.

  10. twaitsfan says:

    The baba strafe-crawling around 2:40 is the thing of nightmares

  11. Premium User Badge

    teije says:

    Playing this game would bring back some horrible flashbacks. Like how we had to fully encase all cords in the house with military grade duct tape to the wall or floor so our son wouldn’t chew on them. Or how our Christmas tree the first couple years was mounted on a high table, fortified by robot sentries, to prevent seasonal disaster.

  12. anevilyak says:

    I’m scared to ask what the answer is going to be but….care to define ‘robot sentries’ in this context? An army of Roombas?

  13. mgardner says:

    Had a big laugh at the video, awesome stuff! I hope this is modable. Replace baby with dog and you can market a whole new audience. Some crazy self-destructive acts my dogs have performed (I guess a motivated baby could do all these, too):
    Run through yard with live frog in mouth
    Dig up TV cable and chew through it
    Chew through watering hose
    Eat steel wool pads
    Hide dead mole in mouth
    Basically anything to do with foreign objects in mouth

    • sfoumatou says:

      Well, the baby in this has the ability to rapidfire-swallow the entire contents of a garbage can in seconds, so your mod can easily become reality if you wish it so.

    • Premium User Badge

      teije says:

      I can vouch for a sufficiently motivated baby being able to do all of these. Ours used to lie face first in the sandbox and munch away on whatever was present. Builds up the immune system.