“Lightning never strikes twice”, say lucky folks who’ve never riled a crybaby wizard. I didn’t touch your bins, Ezwraine, and the reason I didn’t invite you round for the Halloween party is that you’re a pedantic whining killjoy, not because we fear your eldritch powers. Some wizards are friendlier, mind, just look at Square Enix. They’ve twisted with the fabric of reality to create dozens of final fantasies, and now they’ve made lightning strike thrice. Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII [official site] arrived on PC this afternoon, up for £11.69 on Steam.
It may not be the final Final Fantasy (“Alice, do you never tire of this joke?” ask people who don’t understand me at all), but Lightning Returns is the final Final Fantasy XIII. It sees the hero awakened from a centuries-long slumber with only thirteen days to save the world, playing out in accelerated real time. I do like a little tension. It also brings combat a mite more active than Lightning’s previous outing.
The PC release comes with most of the DLC from the console versions included, except the Aerith costume – which Squeenix say they don’t plan to bring over. She’s dead, okay. Get over it. Drifting around your flat in her dress won’t bring her back and won’t make you feel any better. Wait. Now a FFVII remake is coming, are these becoming spoilers all over again? Ah, stuff it. Here’s another spoiler for you: Harry Potter is actually a wizard.
Final Fantasy VI is coming to PC next week too, you know, though all uglied-up. But here’s Lightning: