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Have You Played... Söldner?

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Have You Played? is an endless stream of game recommendations. One a day, every day of the year, perhaps for all time.

Söldner.

Tempting though it is to just write “Söldner” again and again, perhaps it’s more fun to explain why so more can enjoy the joke.

Söldner came out in 2004, and was, at launch, one of the most fantastically broken games of all time. Aiming to be a soldiery sim, primarily multiplayer, it featured tanks, helicopters, the works. Apart from the “works” part. It was spectacular every time I played. Giant barrels would explode leaving confusing armoured cars in their place, buildings would blow up if you shot a window, objects would disappear and reappear, enemy AI was dangerously unwell. It was one of those rare games that never disappointed to provide something hilarious every time I loaded it.

This was because the publishers apparently forced the game to be released entirely unfinished. Some very silly people have tried to fix it over the years, but the game never really got to a place where it was functional. But the very worst thing that occurred was removing the bored sounding man who said “Söldner” in an uninterested voice every time you loaded it up. That was what made it. If you can find an original copy (I have one installed that I’ll never delete), it’s worth it. It’s guaranteed to entertain.

Söldner.

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John Walker

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One of the original co-founders of Rock, Paper, Shotgun, I tried to leave, but they won't let me. If anyone reads this, please send help.

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