The First RPS Christmas Cracker

***** Tomorrow the RPS team will be going into their winter hibernation state. We will return on 4th January BUT, in the meantime, we didn’t want you to think we’d forgotten about you or the supporter program so we have hand-crafted a selection of the Bestest Best RPS Cracker Jokes. It’s also our way of giving you the “reveal” moment that we had to take out of this year’s advent calendar. We’ve made these posts open to all. Whether you celebrate or not we hope they raise a smile. Love, RPS xxx *****

Q: What’s Santa Claus’s least favourite game engine?

A: Frostbite!

39 Comments

  1. Jams O'Donnell says:

    Kieron, stop.

    • zxcasdqwecat says:

      UUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    • Premium User Badge

      phuzz says:

      Just this year alone, at least five people have died from the sheer bad, terrible, awfulness of Kieron Gillen’s puns.
      So please, in this festive season, donate what you can to the RPS supporter’s program to help us fund someone with a big stick to stand behind Kieron and hit him every time he puns.

  2. DMStern says:

    Well that’s Christmas ruined.

  3. goalcam says:

    It’ll be boring without new RPS to read, but I hope all of the staff have a great holiday season and enjoy the time off. :)

    • Hedgeclipper says:

      They wouldn’t have stood for this in 1873. Where are all the little orphans scratching out reviews in soot for their porridge?

      • Symarian says:

        You just don’t get that kind of hardworking spirit in today’s generation. Back in MY day, our dads’ would wake us up each morning with a smack in the face with a keyboard, and we’d say, “Thank you.” Pah!

    • Premium User Badge

      Philippa Warr says:

      Articles will still be appearing on the site, just slightly fewer But we won’t be here in person to do supporter posts so we’ve tried to make a fun thing instead, hence the cracker jokes

    • alms says:

      TBH my RPS RIL bookmark folder is so large it takes many long wheels scrolls to reach the end, so if they just ease up a little, I’m not complaining…

  4. Spacewalk says:

    I don’t get it :(

  5. Lakshmi says:

    Dad jokes. It must be Christmas.

    • Premium User Badge

      Harlander says:

      Terrible puns are the bedrock of cracker jokes. All we need now is the boring quiz question and a terrible, cheap mass-produced gift.

  6. aircool says:

    It’s funny because it’s true…

  7. caff says:

    This joke made me cryengine.

  8. Geebs says:

    Q: What pulls Santa’s sleigh?
    A: {“n”, “deer”}

  9. v21v21v21 says:

    Shouldn’t it have been “Unreal”?

  10. Jac says:

    Jesus CryEnginend.

  11. Minglefingler says:

    This post seems to be a source of some division, given the time of year I’d like to make a plea for unity.

  12. Cardinal says:

    Q: What’s Father Christmas’s favourite stealth game?

    A: Thief, because of all the robins (robbings)

  13. Cardinal says:

    Q: What’s Rudolphs new year resolution?

    A: 4K

  14. Cardinal says:

    Q: What’s Santa’s favourite strategy game?

    A: Gary Grigbsy’s War in the East

  15. Prolar Bear says:

    Frostbite fucking sucks. There, I said it.

  16. Dr_Nick says:

    Gamebryo

  17. emertonom says:

    What engine was used to write these jokes?

    Gamebyro.

  18. Premium User Badge

    particlese says:

    Dude, you guys are so behind the times! Creation Engine is where it’s at. *serious face*