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Have You Played... Theme Park?

Vomit and violence

Featured post

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game recommendations. One a day, every day of the year, perhaps for all time.

Oh, the months of fun I had in Theme Park as a sprog! I’d spend hours creating beautiful parks with elaborate rollercoasters, places I’d dream of visiting, then force them collapse into hellscapes as quickly as I could. I didn’t have the patience or interest to play ‘properly’, see, and mostly cheated. So I’m asking you: have you played it properly? What’s it actually like? What did it do that modern park ’em ups don’t?

Whenever we post about a theme park or rollercoaster management game, I notice Theme Park is a touchstone for many. I remember it fondly, but don’t know it or other themesims well enough to say what the difference in. It was cartoony and funny yet still built on a system you could spend ages tweaking, optimising prices and layouts and whatnots, and simple enough for anyone to pick up without being pointless.

I dabbled in the management more than I pretended ↑ up there but, sooner or later, something would go wrong and I’d embrace that, filling my pockets with cheatmoney to build ludicrous coasters and hire dozens of children’s entertainers for bullies to duff up.

If I were feeling generous, I might say that understanding how a system can collapse is vital to understanding how to make it run smoothly but, well, really I just liked seeing the vomit and violence. How about you?

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Alice O'Connor

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When not writing news, Alice may be found in the sea.

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