The Fifth RPS Christmas Cracker

***** The RPS team are currently in their winter hibernation state and will return on 4th January. In the meantime we didn’t want you to think we’d forgotten about you or the supporter program so we have hand-crafted a selection of the Bestest Best RPS Cracker Jokes. It’s also our way of giving you the “reveal” moment that we had to take out of this year’s advent calendar. We’ve made these posts open to all. Whether you celebrate or not we hope they raise a smile. Love, RPS xxx *****

Q: How do you know Turians keep hogging the laundry room?

A: Because Shepards wash their socks by night.


  1. MajorManiac says:

    I’m Commander Shepard and this is my favourite Christmas cracker joke.

  2. Lakshmi says:

    You guys. (Okay so I forgave the dad-jokeness because turians.)

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    Gassalasca says:

    I don’t get this one. Pls help.

    • Carra says:

      I’ve played Mass Effect and I don’t get it either :(

    • caff says:

      I think it’s something to do with Mass Effect – which, ironically, is almost the exact opposite of the impact this joke had on me. (Bah humbug) ;)

    • The Librarian With No Name says:

      “While Shepherds Watched (Their Flocks By Night.)” Dreary old Christmas hymn that you’d definitely recognize if you heard it. And then you’ll get the pun, and you can never un-get it.

      • victorix says:

        It’s an okay hymn. Though it is not my favorite.

      • Sarfrin says:

        The words of which generations of schoolchildren have changed to “while shepherds washed their socks by night.”

    • Turkey says:

      It’s from Mass Effect. The joke is that you can roleplay as stinky Shepard if you max out your B.O. stats. You’ll develop stink lines and NPCs will start avoiding you.
      There’s a funny scene in Mass Effect 2 on planet Gabrius 12 where if you haven’t showered your Shepard, a Turian will walk up you and offer to buy your smelly socks for 30 000 Spacebux. There’s a sidequest later where a space cop questions you over the death of said Turian who apparently OD’ed on the fumes from your socks.

      • rexx.sabotage says:

        See, if this were the Mass Effect they made, it would have actually been a game I played.

        Real missed opportunity.

  4. redhqs says:

    While shepherds watched
    Their flocks by night
    All seated on the ground
    The angel of the lord came down

  5. anHorse says:

    Would it be possible for all future RPS articles to be done in this format?

  6. DelrueOfDetroit says:

    Here is my Grandpa’s annual dirty joke:

    Did you hear about the woman who fell down while water-skiing?

    She won the 100-meter douche.

  7. Mags says:

    While shepherds washed their socks by night,
    All watching ITV,
    The angel of the lord came down,
    and changed to BBC.

    As sung as an alternative to While shepherds watched their flocks by night in every British school, ever.