Heroes Of The Storm Snubs Shakira With New Hero

Look, Blizzard, you claim you’re serious about digital sports yet here you are, missing out on montage opportunities. Yes, sure, tournaments and pageantry and a good game and all that are nice, but mostly you need good frag montage videos. Adding a werewolf character to Heroes of the Storm [official site] should have hundreds of fans making videos set to one of the all-time greats, Shakira’s She Wolf [workplace warning: video shows Shakira dancing inside glitterguts], winning billions of views, but- oh, it’s a He Wolf. Shakira didn’t sing He Wolf, Blizzard. Don’t you even know that? But sure, you enjoy Greymane, the Lord of the Worgen. Whatever.

As a Worgen, Greymane can shift between wolf and human form on the battlefield, as certain abilities switch him from one form to to other. He uses a gun as a chap but as a wolf scratches people real bad. You can read up on his abilities on his page and see him in action in the video below, but do note neither mention animal magnetism.

Greymane arrived in… Summoner’s Rift? (The Nexus? Forests of Calvadar? Ancientville?) this week. The patch was mostly focused on adding him, but you can check the patch notes for the full scoop.

So, Blizzard, tell us about the frag montages Greymane fans will make. What were you imagining? The Cramps? Ozzy? You need songs that bounce and roll, man. Didn’t think it through, did you? Reader dear, do you have any song suggestions to help them out?

Anyway,

Sponsored links by Taboola

More from the web

From this site

28 Comments

  1. Joe Clark says:

    Lone Wolf by Eels is a good shout. Has a lovely rolling gait. link to youtube.com

  2. mukuste says:

    Ugh, again the conflation of e-sports with frag montage videos. Please please please don’t do that.

  3. Kefren says:

    Super talented and scarily flexible. I mean, bloody hell – I go to a yoga class and it must be like watching The Wicker Man touch his toes.

    (I’m talking about Shakira, not MOBA stuff).

  4. Frings says:

    Oh my God.

    Never has an article made me want to disconsider the inflated dollar conversion rate more and become a 1-year supporter, finances be damned.

  5. Nihohit says:

    RPS has clearly forgotten its roots.
    What would Kieron say about these younglings, completely ignoring TV on the Radio’s “Wolf Like Me”?

  6. Dances to Podcasts says:

    Summoner’s Rift? (The Nexus? Forests of Calvadar? Ancientville?

    The CITY OF TOWNSVILLE!

  7. Premium User Badge

    Minglefingler says:

    As an insufferable music snob I was going to denigrate your taste in music but I have to sniffily admit that that song isn’t as bad as it was in the conclusions I jumped to.
    AS for suggestions, link to youtube.com or link to youtube.com or even this for a melancholic montage of defeats link to youtube.com.

    • ButteringSundays says:

      I think you must have clicked on the wrong link, there was absolutely nothing redeemable about that atrocity.

      (And I’m not even a music snob)

      • Premium User Badge

        Minglefingler says:

        Ehh, I thought it was alright, certainly not offensively bad like most of the shite that pollutes the charts.

      • Premium User Badge

        lasikbear says:

        pls dont make posts like that without providing links so we can all make fun of ur taste in music, especially if ur doing the incredibly tired “pop music is drivel” bit

        • Premium User Badge

          Minglefingler says:

          If you’re talking to me then I should point out that I never said “pop music is drivel,” there’s a lot of good pop music around, what I’m referring to is the mass produced tripe that dominates the charts, stuff that’s made purely to sell and not because the people behind it want to create anything worthwhile.

    • Smoky_the_Bear says:

      Good call, Of Wolf and Man is practically the perfect entrance music for this dude.

    • welverin says:

      I like Shakira, but when I saw Alice reference that song all I could think is ‘but it’s not that good.’

  8. ButteringSundays says:

    0.o

    I expected the video to be vaguely sexy, instead I think I just witnessed some kind of fit. Is that a drug she’s on, or has she just lost control of her muscular system?

    (The song was painful, but I at least expected that)

  9. Cimeries says:

    When I read that work warning I was like “what the hell are glitter guts? That’s not a thing! Is this some weird reference to getting ‘up in dem guts’?”

    Having watched the video, I can confirm that glitter guts definitely are a thing, and Shakira does indeed seem to enjoy dancing in them.

  10. Sian says:

    Well, she sure wasn’t brought up by wolves. That was the howl of a sedated chihuahua, if I’m not mistaken. I seem to remember Shakira having a powerful voice, quite versatile too, so I’m sure she could’ve mustered a more intense howl.

  11. LionsPhil says:

    That’s not a she-wolf in the banner image?

  12. thelastdonut says:

    Mmm I was never really big on She Wolf, but I will shamelessly upvote anything Shakira

  13. Premium User Badge

    kfix says:

    Staring thighs tag, please.

  14. Hell-Nico says:

    Smite and Lol get decent new character review, Heroes got some halfassed cheap tryhard joke excuse of article…

    Yup, I don’t even know why I bother keep coming here, I’ll just stop.

    • Premium User Badge

      Llewyn says:

      The recidivism rate for people who make “I’m done with RPS” posts is appalling. Please try to be strong.