The Moos (The News): Farming Simulator 17 Announced

Will we, in years to come, be asking “How would you revamp Farming Simulator?” Will we wonder if it’s time Farming Simulator took a few years off from annual sequels to rethink what about virtual farming excited people so? Will we dream of an Ancient Egyptian reboot, tilling the soils of the Nile Delta? Or will you, wide-eyed, propose a slaughterhouse with PhysX Flex blood and a knife-sharpening minigame? Do you want a wee organic farm with no machinery, just a workforce of gapyearers?

I ask because developers Giants Software have announced Farming Simulator 17 [official site], coming “at the end of 2016.”

Annnd that’s all we know about Farming Sim 17. No details. However!

Normally I blow past press release quotes because they’re boring but today I feel solidarity with the hypothetical marketing person I imagine helped Giants and publishers Focus Home come up with these flowery quotes. We’ve probably got a lot in common, you and me. I’m sure you’re also laughing at what you’ve managed here.

“It’s been a pleasure working with Focus throughout all these years,” says Giants vice president Thomas Frey. “This partnership is the water on the seed that made Farming Simulator grow into the global phenomenon it is today.”

Seed? Water? Eh? I think my favourite part is how cautious that joke is. It doesn’t say fertiliser, which would be more appropriate but is also, y’know, poo. And it doesn’t go into technical farming terms, either through a lack of confidence or reaching for broad appeal. I’d probably been really happy getting that quote. Normally I have to invent people to make them say things like that on RPS.

I like to imagine that’s you inside the cow suit.

Focus Home president Cédric Lagarrigue, meanwhile, has gone a bit The Princess Bride or The NeverEnding Story.

“Farming Simulator is a one of a kind story in the video game industry. Years ago, we imagined a unique destiny for this game and Giants Software, their creators. It is with great satisfaction that we succeed in reaching all of our objectives. There are still a lot of beautiful pages to write for Farming Simulator, and it starts right now with the simultaneous release of the game on PC and consoles at the end of the year.”

Can I farm luckdragons in Farming Sim 17? If I don’t fence in my horses, might they be lost to the Swamps of Sadness?

FarmiSim did technically skip 2015, with 2014’s FarSi 15 being the last release on PC, though 2015 did bring an expansion. Anyway! End of 2016. More details coming after a big press event. And FaS 15 is down to £5.99 on Steam right now, with expansions and DLC discounted too.

15 Comments

  1. GWOP says:

    Well, Giants Software have cultivated quite a following in the field of simulators, and now are reaping the benefits.

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      Bozzley says:

      Let’s just plough through the easy puns now, eh?

    • Didden says:

      I hope you know what you’ve started GWOP, indeed you’ll reap what you sow.

      • mechabuddha says:

        That’s…the same pun.

        • SpiceTheCat says:

          It’s a meta-commentary on farming: you plant one thing and get lots of the same things back.

          Didden wasn’t just reap-eating the pun. *nods*

          • SpiceTheCat says:

            Just sow everyone knows.

            Well, I’ve extractored everything out of that joke.

          • GWOP says:

            Don’t you mean you have ground the joke to nothingness?

    • The Librarian With No Name says:

      Harrowing.

      • GWOP says:

        I’m sorry, I just have to milk every punning opportunity.

        • SpiceTheCat says:

          It’s a sure sign you’re pasture best, threshing around for puns like this like some has-bean. No, just chaffing. Pulling your legume. I’m all for harmony and peas in pun thread.

    • Hastur says:

      Corny jokes like this make my brows furrow.

  2. KDR_11k says:

    I thought they reserved the odd numbers for mobile and portable games?

  3. Dances to Podcasts says:

    Fantasy farming, sci-fi farming, weed farming (featuring Snoop,of course), steampunk farming, roman farming, medieval farming, tropical farming, gothic farming, muppet farming, lego farming, cotton farming…