Table Top Racing: World Tour Zooming To PC

It’s not the kind of tabletop gaming Rab usually writes about, although his inner child would surely appreciate. This is more like tabletop, floortop, walltop, outside-in-the-dirt-top, your-dog-top, your-sleeping-father-top, inappropriate-public-places-top gaming. Table Top here is shorthand, you see.

Table Top Racing: World Tour [official website] is a mix of Micro Machines and Mario Kart, from Wipeout co-creator Nick Burcombe and Playrise Digital. Now we know it’s coming to Windows between April and June, after a few months exclusively on PS4. As if you could restrain toy cars! Those boring adults will never learn.

The follow-up to a mobile game, Table Top Racing: World Tour will see up to 8 players, with their choice from 12 customizable cars, race it out and battle it out with weapons and power-ups on 20 dynamic circuits, both offline against the AI and online. It’s not clear if the PC version will share the console’s splitscreen local multiplayer, but I like to believe that the world is not such a grim and hopeless place after all. Or maybe it’s just the Micro Machines euphoria speaking.

That’s pretty much it. But really, do you need anything else? I guess there’s a licensed “Yo! Sushi” track if that’s your kind of thing. The Micro Machines format is so simple and yet so genuinely fun and joyful that it baffles me how few games have gone for it over the years, and how many of those had just one or two flaws too many, which stopped them from really nailing it. Kotaku’s review of the mobile Table Top Racing in 2013 called it “clumsy,” complaining about insubstantial power-ups, unrewarding explosions and no sense of speed. We’ll see if the big-screen version fares any better.

Anyway, my earliest memories of playing with toy cars bring me back to when I was 5 or 6. I was playing quite a bit of the first Gran Turismo on PS1, and I was gifted this tiny blue car, which I would race everywhere, no matter if it was around the house, on myself or on the walls of the doctor’s waiting room. But I didn’t focus on impossible jumps and backflips: I actually simulated realistic steering, appropriate modulation of brakes and throttle, and everything else I had learned from Gran Turismo. You could say I had a difficult childhood…

Do you have any weird, inappropriate or embarrassing stories involving your toy cars?

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10 Comments

  1. Morgan Joylighter says:

    I had a marvelous collection of toy Indycar when I was that age and one time my abusive fundamentalist father asked me which my favorite ones were. I naively told him and what do I know but he’s taking them away from me in order to punish me for something trivial that I can’t even remember. To this day I now have a complex about admitting to people that I like things for fear they will deliberately attack me with the info.

    ….oh wait, you meant cute embarrassing, didn’t you…

  2. hanshanshans says:

    And while we wait, Toybox Turbos (pretty much Micro Machines 2014) and Blaze Rush (more outer-space-dystopian-y) are pretty good.

    • SteelPriest says:

      Toybox Turbos is excellent, for the three hours that it lasts.

  3. King_Rocket says:

    > Anyway, my earliest memories of playing with toy cars bring me back to when I was 5 or 6. I was playing quite a bit of the first Gran Turismo on PS1

    Well now I feel old, Damn you kids!

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    Grizzly says:

    This reminds me of the lovely Re-Volt that I played a bit in my youth along with the equally lovely Airfix Dogfighter. Great games both, and you never had to clean up afterwards!

    • BathroomCitizen says:

      Re-Volt was great! I loved the levels – they all were light and sunny and able to give me a good mood. They felt like familiar places.

    • baozi says:

      Hah, wanted to mention this too. Too bad I missed Re-Volt on GOG.

    • Warduke says:

      That’s funny, Re-Volt and Airfix Dogfighter were both staples of my old LAN parties.. both great games.. I saw this video and thought “So this is the new Re-Volt”

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    DelrueOfDetroit says:

    No crash damage? Gran Turismo 1 indeed.

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    particlese says:

    I had a bunch of real live Micro Machines as a kid, and some of them had even smaller, functionally wheeled cars inside them. Totally blew my mind — maybe even more than the speed of the advert guy’s speech.

    There were also Hot Wheels, though. I had a play set which was a town with cool things all over the place and a road winding from top to bottom which my best (unmotorized) cars could traverse without assistance, and it folded into a sort of carrying case for easy stowing and transport. But I think my fondest toy car memory is that I used to bunch up the rug in my bedroom to make awesome banked tracks for those cars, whether they were motorized or not. I loved playing with those crazy loopy track things at the hobby store, but my carpet was where it was at.