I can’t tell you if the footage paraded around as snippets from Mass Effect Andromeda [official site], supposedly spotted in a BioWare FX artist’s demo reel, are real. BioWare’s next spacefaring RPG is due within the next twelve months but we still haven’t seen or heard much of it, going mostly on scraps and leaks. If this footage is real, though, I can tell you that Andromeda has a jetpack, it has explosive barrels, and it may finally solve the mystery of why people use the aubergine/eggplant emoji so much.
Or it had those things, at least. Given that we’ve never got a good look at the game, this could be from anywhere along its development, from early prototypes to last month. Maybe none of this is even in Andromeda anymore. Or maybe all of it is. Surely BioWare wouldn’t dare remove explosive barrels? This is video games; we have rules.
Anyway! The story is that NeoGAF poster ‘Taker34’ spotted the footage on a dev’s site, then supposedly EA requested a takedown of a copy they uploaded, and hey look here’s another mirror:
Yes, I realise that version of the video was uploaded on April 1st. I know. I know, okay, sheesh. But it’d be a weird amount of work to make all that for a prank. That said, I do half-hope it is a prank, because people have become far too predictable with their japes and I like the idea of people getting over-excited about a few animations and particle effects. I’m real into mundane pranks.
I’d be up for a jetpack, though. And it’d be nice to solve the aubergine mystery once and for all – seemingly this space-aubergine emits crippling mist? Is sending someone the aubergine emoji a way of saying you hope they die? I hope no space-villain ever gets hold of space-fertiliser to grow a giant space-eggplant and destroy the Andromeda galaxy. Should any space-villain ever space-manage that, I sure do hope a space-hero from the Milky Way comes along to space-save the space-day with a cracking recipe for baba ganoush.
Yeah, don’t think I don’t see where this game’s going, BioWare.