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Make Coffee And Clean Up Dog Poo In L'Employé Parfait

The longest I’ve ever worked in an office is two weeks, and my own form of last-minute panic now involves staring at a blank WordPress document muttering e.g. “oh god I was supposed to finish work 12 minutes ago but I spent all day staring at blank WordPress documents muttering ‘oh god’ so I’ve got so much more to write”, so I was glad to discover how modern officefolk live in L’Employé Parfait [official site]. It’s a colourful, fun, and free little minigame ’em up about dashing around trying to complete tasks before the boss arrives. You might like it!

L’employé Parfait [that’s The Perfect Employee -ed. Française] sees a slacking cop scooting around his office on a wheely chair, trying to complete a load of tasks in the one minute before the chief gets into work. Tasks pop up around the place, very simple minigames like signing a form by tracing a line, sorting case files and bills into separate piles, collecting rubbish and putting it out, clicking to bang the printer, making coffee, and whatnot.

None are challenging, but it gets tense and exciting on later days when you need to do so much more. Waiting a few seconds for a coffee machine to finish spitting out its juice becomes agonising, and banging a printer is… still very cathartic. Towards the end (it counts down to payday), optimising routes and picking time-efficient tasks becomes really important if you don’t want to get fired. I was really good at cleaning up poo and banging the printer, for example, so I tried to do that more than answering telephones. And in the game.

Made by a team of students from the French school Isart Digital, L’Employé Parfait [no, we know we shouldn’t capitalise it like that -Anglo/French ed.] is free to download from Itch for Windows, Mac, and Linux. It’s pretty and pleasant and has silly noises and you get to mash keyboards and if it makes you smile for a few minutes then that’s nice, isn’t it?

Oh god.

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Alice O'Connor

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When not writing news, Alice may be found in the sea.

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