King’s Quest Chapter 3 Now Seeking True Love

Love! Don’t talk to me about love. Especially not if you’re talking about falling in love with people. Look at young King-to-be Graham in the third episode of Activision’s revived King’s Quest [official site], off adventuring in search of love, travelling through a grand forest and tumbling down a hill – two bits of landscape that it’d be perfectly reasonable to fall deeply in love with. But no, he’s off climbing a magic tower to rescue a princess to love or something? But fine, sure, whatever, if you’re into that sort of thing, then Chapter 3: Once Upon a Climb Launch is out.

Young Graham, see, listened to a magic mirror telling him how to find his love – not realising it was surely referring to the forest around the tower, not anyone in it. The youth of today, man. Activision explain:

“Once Upon a Climb adds a romantic comedy twist to the adventure, turning a spotlight to Queen Valanice, the future wife of King Graham and a classic character from the series’ origins. As Graham continues to recount some of the most daring stories from his life to his granddaughter, Gwendolyn, players will get to experience the true legend behind Graham’s first encounter with Valanice and how he rescued her from the wicked witch Hagatha.”

Yeah, open your eyes, doofus. Look at these trees!

Anyway. Chapter 3 is out now. It’s included with the £31.99 ‘Complete Collection’, which also has an extra episode, or with the £23.99 Season Pass which goes on top of the first episode (£6.99), or is £6.99 by itself if you own the first episode. Hit Steam for it. We didn’t look at Chapter 2, but John did not like the first one.

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  1. Premium User Badge

    Grizzly says:

    It took me a beat to figure out that this article was not about the chief.

  2. Premium User Badge

    Risingson says:

    I love the smell of heteropatrarchy in the morning.

    No, I do not.

    • ProverbsofHell says:

      Not really sure what you’re implying by “heteropatriarchy”, but I’m assuming you mean because the game’s romance features a heterosexual relationship. Well get used to it, because most of the world’s population are heterosexual. I just don’t understand people like you, it’s like you won’t be satisfied until every game has an LGBT motif.

      • Premium User Badge

        Risingson says:

        Are you people that shallow? It’s not lgbt what i am talking about, but the princess who should be married old tale. Again. You are in RPS, please.

        • batraz says:

          Damn that heteropatriarchy ! It follows me everywhere I go…

        • ProverbsofHell says:

          I agree, it’s a tired old story and the game looks absolutely terrible. But you weren’t talking about clichés, you were broadly offensive to heterosexual men in particular. It’s like if I went around to comments like yours all “god damn homoantagonists!” instead of approaching it diplomatically. Except if I said that somebody would have my head no doubt.

          • Edgewise says:

            I find it hard to take someone seriously when the word “heteropatriarchy” is a word they will use.

          • Morgan Joylighter says:

            Except millions of people do literally exactly that to and in relation to non-hetero people every single day and no heads are exchanged or removed. You just don’t see it because you’re comfortably not the target.

            Also, there is absolutely no reason for heterosexual men to be offended by such a comment. It’s functionally no different than a Star Wars fan complaining that there was not enough Luke Skywalker and too much quirky Abrams-isms and Greg Gunberg in the new film. I’m sure John Boyega or Greg Gunberg would not be losing any sleep over such comments. People have the right to complain about entertainment that does not give them what they want. It’s NOT PERSONAL. You don’t have to take it personally. I am honestly baffled why anyone ever does.

          • Grim_22 says:

            Exactly, thank you for voicing it better than I would have. Can we please find a way to promote and further equality without attacking heterosexual males, please? That’d be just swell.

          • TheApologist says:

            I am a heterosexual male. The comment does not attack me as a heterosexual male, because it doesn’t attack heterosexuality or maleness or heterosexual male identity. It isn’t even about heterosexual male identity. If you think it is, I am afraid you don’t understand fully what is being said. Rather than attack the comment, it would be better for you if you tried to understand it. A less defensive stance would help you realise that discussions like this aren’t attacks, which I suspect would make for a happier time for you on the internet.

        • Dellaco says:

          I must respectfully disagree; it sounds like you haven’t played the chapter yet! I’ll try not to spoil anything here, but this game does examine the trope of princesses locked in towers, waiting on their one true love, and addresses it in more than one way. Please try this game before commenting; if you don’t want to play it, though, at least peruse a guide to get a gist of the story. It is not everything it seems at first glance.

        • Charos says:

          Well, yeah…that’s kind of the whole point…there’s good reason these gold standards have become so omnipresent, they connect with people…that doesn’t mean there can’t be equally touching and great stories in other veins, nor does it in any way affect any such stories or games…

    • sicanshu says:

      Ugh. Tumblr is leaking again.

    • GameCat says:

      Come one, you have to give them some credit, I mean, at least it’s not monogamic relationship, duh.

    • Einsammler says:

      “This is not that kind of tale,” says the trailer.

    • Distec says:

      Surely you must be vomiting every time you rise from bed.

    • Faxanadu says:

      I love the smell of strong female tropes in the morning.

      No, I do not.

      This is a fun game! Oh wait, it’s serious? Uhh.

    • Phasma Felis says:

      I feel like everyone in this thread is trolling.

  3. Aerothorn says:

    The pricing structure is bizarre. If I buy the first episode, like it, and upgrade, I’m locked out of the final episode. Who came up with that?

    Also, apparently the second episode is way, way shorter than the first.

  4. Turkey says:

    Ugh. I thought this was an adventure game about Larry King searching for his suspenders.

    • Darth Gangrel says:

      Compared to the lukewarm reception this game has been getting, that sounds like something people would enjoy more.

      • Charos says:

        Unsure where you’ve been looking, the three chapters average around 80% on metacritic (the first getting 82%) and it’s listed as having “very positive” reviews in the Steam store page, both for older and more recent reviews by people who have played it…that isn’t to say it’s some mind-blowing classic the likes of the old King’s Quest 6 by any stretch (which is widely considered one of the greatest adventure games of all time), but it’s definitely a fun, tongue-in-cheek, enjoyable adventure game…in fact, the review on here is about the only one that’s really negative, most will point out weak spots the game has no doubt (and it does have them, the length of episode two for example), but it’s reception has been generally quite positive thus far.

    • Josh W says:

      Sounds pretty suitable for an adventure game too, lots of strange tangled dialog trees, and the potential to get a weird idea from one conversation that you apply inappropriately to this one to see if it allows you to progress.

      It probably doesn’t, but most of the time, instead of giving you the classic “that won’t work here”, it instead gives you a ridiculous conversation of it’s own.

  5. TheApologist says:

    I thought this screenshot was for an alt-universe Tangled movie where Rapunzel had brown hair.