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Trials Of The Blood Dragon Might Be A Thing?

Supposedly this is Trials of the Blood Dragon?

Eagle-eyed database watchers have spotted traces of an Ubisoft game named Trials of the Blood Dragon listed by the Taiwanese software rating board. The listings have been pulled, but did reveal a logo and single screenshot which seemed to show, yep, a Trials game with the neon lighting of Far Cry 3’s expandalone Blood Dragon. That’s it. If it’s real and happening, I’d expect more tricky Trials physics-based motorbike stunting but with neon lights. That’s the news. If you want news, no need to read on.

Now let’s gasbag about Turbo Kid and this fake ’80s aesthetic we see so much of.

In short, let’s have less Kung Fury and more Turbo Kid, yeah?

I realise that these faux-throwback games, movies, and whatnot aren’t meant to be recreating their ’80s inspirations, rather taking elements and stereotypes and building them into an exaggerated aesthetic but gosh, the sneering wackiness of some really grates.

Kung Fury and many other throwbacks are barrages of “Remember the ’80s? Weren’t they wacky? Remember this from the ’80s? Weren’t they bad? Isn’t this silly? Remember the ’80s? Isn’t this ridiculous?” The one joke wears thin in these sorts. John would tell you Blood Dragon falls into that category (though hey, at least it has the fun shootybangs of Far Cry 3 at heart). Kung Fury is the furthest extreme, a spectacle of excess, but the attitude’s all around.

On the other, see Turbo Kid! It’s a really fun and earnest comedy-adventure-horror about teens and villains in the post-apocalyptic wasteland. Characters are more than punchlines. As silly as the story is, it bounces and rolls along nicely. Yes, it throws in a few references to Things From The ’80s, but the best jokes aren’t “Remember this?”. It’s warm reminiscence, not reference-blasting kookiness. And dang, it has some cracking practical effects. Really good dismemberment, evisceration, and torso hats. Guts torn out by bicycle. Jaws ripped off. Gibs. Lovely.

Look, I did made clear that the news on Trials of the Blood Dragon was slim. I was clear that I mostly wanted to talk about Turbo Kid. Go see it! It’s out in the usual places, including Netflix (in the UK, at least). Seriously, really fun practical effects.

Oh, I guess Trials of the Blood Dragon could also be an expansion, or a lesser expandalone. Or not be happening. It’s not proper official yet.

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Alice O'Connor

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When not writing news, Alice may be found in the sea.

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