FREE 3: Our Final Batch Of Games To Tide You Over

It’s three free for E3! The time of the day when we collect three of LA’s most anticipated games of the show and throw them out in favour of three great games you could be playing right this second for $0 (£0). THREE FREE FOR E3!

Instead of The Last Guardian try…

Animal Inspector by Thomas Astle and Ben Esposito

Imagine the scene: the Last Guardian has finally been released. Millions of Ico and Shadow of the Colossus fans the world over clamour to meet this strange new animal, yearning for its companionship, impatient for its love. They put the disc into their gamebox and… it’s not there. The animal has been taken away by the animal inspectors. He is just not a good enough animal. Sorry. But you too could be an inspector! Just stamp ‘approved’ or ‘rejected’ on the right forms and try to fill your daily quota in this colourful Papers, Please homage. Don’t forget to fill in the notes field. For instance, the Last Guardian’s notes read: “Reason for rejection: NOT PUNCTUAL”.

Instead of Batman: Return To Arkham try…

Disorient on the Murder Express by Gary Kings

Batman is not the only aging detective in the world of fiction, you know. Take the protagonist of this game, for example. You may not be able to use Batvision, but you can drink from this fine glass of whiskey on demand simply by pressing ‘E’. It is only the first joke in a short comedy of crime, where everyone and everything is suspect. Do you have the chops to stand next to the fireplace (on a train??) and assume the air of someone nonchalantly delivering a clever verdict, while taking one last sip before the final reveal? I reckon you do.

Instead of Watch Dogs 2 try…

SPY INTRIGUE by furkle

Jack out of the “internet” and into the “SPYNET” (version 2.0.4). Here you’ll be given your newest targets, your latest objectives, all the best spy info an interactive fiction done in dreaded ALL CAPS could possibly provide. While Watch Dogs 2 goes down its Mr Robot route, you can go down the secretary bot route. Question her to find out more details about your mission and fallen comrades (they all got mumps). However, be warned – this game is funny but it is not entirely the joke it first seems to be.

That’s it for our E-freebies. But be sure to check out our Free Loaders column every Saturday for more of the best free games. Or hit up the remaining E3 2016 news if you hunger for still more.


  1. Harlander says:

    That SPY INTRIGUE is something all right. It’s definitely… something.

    (Does it actually end? I seemed to get stuck into some kind of perplexing Groundhog Day malarkey at a certain point.)

    • nootrac4571 says:

      There is an ending, you’re not far off from it. Keep at it, you just have to notice something. (Also check the map, it’ll show you any narrative paths you haven’t explored.)

      I really enjoyed it – equal parts funny, horrific and sad. And I did a proper real life laugh at the “seducing a guard” joke.

  2. golochuk says:

    I would be really pissed if I bought the Last Guardian and received a half-hour distraction with no production values and minimal interactivity.

  3. joshg says:

    So, good thing it’s free then, eh?

  4. Hmm-Hmm. says:

    Spy Intrigue is definitely interesting. But a bit heavy on the subject matter, it felt claustrophobic in the sense that the path you take seems to be the only one surrounded by futility. I looked forward to escaping that narrow enclosure and face death. So, at some point that’s where I stopped playing. It seemed fitting.

  5. Hmm-Hmm. says:

    Animal Inspector seems a bit.. uninteractive.

    There’s very little you can say and it’s not always clear what certain dialogue choices mean (or maybe that’s just me). And while I understand here may ot e room for it, but some deeper dialogue would have been nice, too.

    That aside, I’d have expected a bit more activity away from the desk, especially after certain.. developments take place. But no, you go on only reacting by doing your job differently (if that). Mrow!