Hitman Episode Four Visiting Thailand On The 16th

“Bangkok, Oriental setting,” sang Murray Head, “And the city don’t know that the city is getting.” His prediction was a lot closer to the mark this time. “The crème de la crème of the chess world in a show with everything but Yul Brynner.” Replace ‘chess’ with ‘mopey pop rock’ and you’ve basically got the idea of Episode Four of Hitman [official site]. Publishers Square Enix today announced that, on August 16th, Ian Hitman will be jetting off to a luxury hotel outside Bangkok to murder a rubbish rock star and his family’s lawyer. But remember: one night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble.

Jordan Cross is holed up in a gorgeous hotel with his band, The Class, while they finish their second album. It’s always difficult, that one, especially when a superhuman killer has come to murder you for pocket money. Musical murder weapons are teased, naturally; I wonder if you can kill someone by forcing a clarinet down their throat then kicking them so they honk notes. Ian’s also after the Cross family’s lawyer, presumably because reasons.

It is a really nice-looking hotel! I’m enamoured with the lush conservatory in that screenshot ↑ up there. You can always play Hitman as a tourism simulator, I suppose. He’ll be happy enough gawping at plants. Or ↓ golden elephants.

It’s not just those two murders, mind. The episode will also bring plenty more Opportunities, new disguises, gear, weapons, and Challenges – not to mention a new place to find Elusive Targets.

In other Hitman news, the eighth Elusive Target is now wandering around Paris. You have 72 hours to bump off The Broker before and yoink an knock-off Fabergé egg before they vanish forever.

Anyway, here’s Jordan Cross and The Class with their song Are We Stars:

Yeah, whatever. When will video games give us this questionable experience?


  1. Kefren says:

    That video and song, twice in one week. It is in my head, my head, and now I’m a zombie.

  2. Llewyn says:

    That’s… mind-blowing. I was probably too young in ’82 to have seen the video or ever noticed more than the chorus, and thought you’d made the chess bit up. This may be my new favourite thing ever.

    Oh, yeah, something something about the game too.

    • Haplo says:

      I’ve gone through this myself in the distant past. In case you haven’t found out yourself, this is where the song originates from: a musical.

      • Llewyn says:

        Good grief, random bits of my childhood overlapping all over the place. I was aware of Chess, though I don’t think of Abba’s involvement – I knew it was Tim Rice. I remember the original Paige/Dickson version of ‘I Know Him So Well’. And obviously parts of ‘Bangkok’. But I had no idea they were linked at all.

  3. Boomerang says:

    An annoying colleague played this constantly (One Night in Bangkok, not the fake rock thing) when we were there. I still love it though. Hope they capture the essence of the city (heat, humidity, traffic and amazing food smells)

    • Boomerang says:

      (smells remain difficult to accurately recreate using current technology, obv, before anyone starts. Same for heat and humidity. Ok, forget I said anything.)

      • encogen says:

        Heat and humidity are doable. I was very much fascinated with how Saints Row 2 (and Sand Andreas before that) managed to translate the heat of a big city. Though I believe no small part of that was my imagination.

        • encogen says:

          …San…d Andreas? Fingers, please.

        • phelix says:

          It involves a lot of brain trickery to emulate five senses with just two, but San Andreas did this really well (shimmering on concrete roads, lots of shorts, bikinis and sandals, as well as ambient sounds that we associate with hot weather). Hell, CJ was wearing a sleeveless undershirt the moment he got on that fateful plane to Los Santos.