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Have You Played... Captain Blood?

the most obtuse

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Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day of the year, perhaps for all time.

If Commander Blood is one of the most bizarre experiences one could ever have in PC gaming, its predecessor Captain Blood is definitely one of the most obtuse. But you’ll love every minute of it.

There are no Muppets to be found here, or even techno to dance in your chair to. There are bizarre menus, alien interactions, and fractal landscapes comprising a tale surrounding one Bob Morlock, who you might recall from the Commander Blood synopsis. Same guy.

Morlock takes on the name “Captain Blood” as he finds himself stuck in the spaceship of a game he actually created. After he’s accidentally cloned 30 times, Blood sets off on an 800-year quest to disintegrate every single clone in the universe, or die trying.

Through the UPCOM system, a slew of picture icons that allow you to communicate with the aliens you meet along the way, you’ve got to earn the trust of the locals on each planet and eventually find your clones and take them out before you wither away.

Every aspect of this game looks and feels as alien and indecipherable as you’d imagine the rest of the universe might, and for that reason it remains one of my favorite games of all time. It must be experienced, whether you try the PC version or one of its many ports.

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Brittany Vincent


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