Free Loaders: The Nokia Snake Has Come To Kill Us All

It’s the end of times. The sky darkens and there is only one dreaded prospect for us all. We are to be consumed by an angry snake that eats its own tail.

Only joking! It’s just a free game.

Ophidia by monster27

The ragnarock cometh. The giant wormthing Ouroboros – that’s you – is out to eat everything. Follow your mouse cursor and surround the things you want to chow down on, then bite your own tail when you want to absorb it. Every kill makes you longer and lovelier. Cleanse each level of its wonderfully drawn, sometimes annoying inhabitants – beetles, moths, birds. Be sure not to bite your own tail off by chowing at other segments of your body. It’s like Snake on those old Nokia phones, except your appearance heralds the downfall of the earth or whatever.

It Is As If You Were Playing Chess by Pippin Barr

Horse to square 3. Emperor to square 19. Paladin captures horse. Checked-mate. Oh, hello, I didn’t see you there. If you would like to play the game of Chess as well as I do, you have a lot of work cut out for you. Literally hours of back-breaking practice and difficult decisions. This isn’t like those decisions in Mass Effect 2. These are strategic decisions, important procedures. If that sounds like too much work for you, don’t fret. You can play this. It is an interactive experience an awful lot like playing chess. Move the things from place to another. Breathe in slowly and stretch. Mutter under your breath. Raise your eyebrows. All the most spectacular moves and stratagems, with none of the actual game.

Pico Monsters by headchant

Monsters that go in your Pico. Leave the house and your beloved hometown with nothing but your trusty Pico Monster in tow. Other monsters will attack you in grass, in caves, all over the shop. Be careful. Capture up to four of the beasts with your Pico Balls. Will you catch a powerful Watawamps? Or perhaps a wily Pilo? With your loyal Swooty by your side, nothing can stop you from becoming the very best. The signs in your hometown tell you not to throw shade on it, fam, and you would be wise to listen. In this world, one of the citizens tells you, they have abolished capitalism and replaced it with a Picostop-based economy. All the Picostops save your game and some offer prizes for being a good Pico Warrior. What do you mean this sounds familiar?

I Broke The Time by Ticklebot

Temporal paradox platformer. Professor Tim has been an absolute fool. He has broken time and needs to collect all the clocks again. Chuh! But some of the clocks have gone a sinister black, causing them to produce a looping temporal clone of himself. Touch these clones and you are dead. They loop back and forth through your old actions, jumping from one platform to another perhaps, then rewinding back in mid air. After a few black clocks appear, you’ll have multiple clones to worry about. Collect all the clocks in each of the seven levels to open… the scary door.

Two Tap by Davetech

Deceptively difficult tapper. When you start this it looks like the most basic monochromatic reflex test. It is, except it is also deadly hard. You have to “tap” whichever side of the screen has a pip on it, in order, and against the clock. You can use the mouse but you’ll soon abandon that when the fuse gets shorter, migrating to the keyboard in an attempt to progress. Get a single tap wrong and you’ve failed, generating a whole new pattern to tap out. At the beginning, you’re confronted with a total of twelve taps, but that becomes 24, which becomes 48, which becomes 98… Oh god, please. Don’t make me tap any more…

Illing by pt3000

Thumb twister. You know, it’s like a tongue twister, but for your thumbs. This is a twin-stick shooter in which both sticks control indendant “ships” and neither can actually shoot anything. Instead, you’ve got to gobble up the green things before they go bad. Everything is turning slowly red, you see, like a bunch of weird cuboid apples ripening into poison blocks. But when you eat the green or yellowing cubes, sometimes they split into lots of tiny cubes, and each of them is going slightly wrong. Oh, the humanity. Survive and chomp for as long as your confused thumbs allow.

SHE by grouflon

SHE will not let you escape.

Want more free games? Check out the Best of Free Loaders collection or our list of the 50 best free games on PC. Got a free game yourself? Give it to @Brendy_C for safekeeping

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3 Comments

  1. April March says:

    Aw, I thought that someone had finally made a Snake variant game based on the Anaconda game from TimeSplitters 2.

    • Rizlar says:

      My mind immediately went there as well! Anaconda is the best and our friends still play it given the opportunity. Great soundtrack too.

  2. Czrly says:

    Sorry, but Snake was in no way original to Nokia. Nokia only proved that even Snake could have astonishingly abysmal controls… although, back in the T9 era, everything had astonishingly abysmal controls!