They Bite Me, Giants: Attack On Titan Released

I love horror films. Can’t get enough of ’em. Whether it’s a splatterfest of guts and giblets, or a brainful of anxious creeping dread, I’ll generally find something to enjoy. I’ve only ever watched one episode of Attack on Titan [official site] though, because something about it makes me feel intensely uncomfortable. It’s not just that its anime, it’s the sight of characters screaming and bleeding as they vanish down the throat-pipe of giant, mindless, occasionally-skinless humanoids. I guess I have a primal fear of being chewed up and then slowly digested inside a massive man’s gut. Weird.

Anyhow. The Attack on Titan game [official site] is out today. I will not be playing it.

SPOILER ALERT. According to Koei Tecmo, that launch trailer reveals that you can play beyond the first season of the series in the game. I’m guessing that has something to do with the specific beasties shown in the video? It’s the smallest ones that bother me the most, the ones that really do look like humans gone a bit wrong rather than the more explicitly inhuman and monstrous things that take up most of the trailer’s running time.

There’s an uncanny valley effect to that last one though. It’s like somebody tried to mould a giant man using sausage meat, glued it all together and didn’t get it quite right. And then gave it teeth and told it to eat everyone in the world while smiling.

As for the game itself, if I were being generous I’d say it looks like Shadow of the Colossus with the addition of speedy zipping about using grappling hooks, but if I were feeling less than generous I’d say I find it very difficult to figure out where those hooks are attached and it all looks a bit messy and difficult to read.

I wonder if there’s a minigame where you can struggle in a giant’s gullet for a while, already split in half by its teeth, and try to do some small amount of damage to its internals as you slide downwards, slowly disintegrating?


  1. Capt. Bumchum McMerryweather says:

    I agree with your assessment of this franchise. I’ve seen a metric arse-ton of anime, and I find a lot of the disturbing stuff in most of them to be a little bit forced. Almost as if the creators are playing the “We are weird Japanese, such gross, many vogue!” card. As a result I find myself rolling my eyes at much of the harsh or horror-type stuff in anime. However I found AoT deeply and uniquely disturbing, right down to my very core. It was splendid.

    • MajorLag says:

      I feel the same. I don’t actually like AoT. It has a lot of problems, pacing being a big one, but I will grant that it excels at disturbing the viewer in a very genuine way. I recall one episode in particular, about half-way through I think, that made me feel physically nauseous without even using any body horror or gore at all. I mean, that was present in the episode, but those weren’t the parts making me feel ill.

      • MisterFurious says:

        I liked the show, but you’re right about the pacing. I think they could’ve easily cut it down to 20 episodes if they cut down on the monologues. Maybe even 15.

  2. Phantom_Renegade says:

    Don’t worry, the Titans don’t actually digest you at all! No digestive tract. So if they swallow you whole, you just starve to death in their bellies before they throw you back up. Does that help?

    • Premium User Badge

      Adam Smith says:

      No! No it does not help! I think you were aware it would not help when you wrote it!

      • Premium User Badge

        Earl-Grey says:

        It’s not so bad.
        You could drown in the titan’s saliva and the blood of all your friends instead.

        • RanDomino says:

          It’s far more likely you’ll bleed out from the wounds received while being grabbed, crushed, and bit.

          • Premium User Badge

            Earl-Grey says:

            You make a good point.
            Let’s say you’re somehow lucky enough to be swallowed whole?
            Well, I say lucky…but.

      • C0llic says:

        I only know this anime because of its connection to a very bizarre sexual fetish. It’s called Vorarephilia or vore for short:
        link to

        When you hear about that, the whole thing gets even creepier. I have no idea if it’s actually created with those people in mind, of course. No, I haven’t watched any!

        • Capt. Bumchum McMerryweather says:

          I doubt it, but it kind of amuses me to imagine someone furiously mixing a batch up to this anime.

        • MadTinkerer says:

          As someone who has seen the anime I can say: the answer to that is 100% no. The cannibalistic giants are meant to be horrifying, not titillating at all, especially as more is revealed about the whys and hows of what’s going on.

          Horror, drama, mystery, and semi-serious alt-history military procedural are the genres this series falls into. Definitely not for fetishists.

  3. Babymech says:

    Seid ihr das Essen? Nein wir not gonna play it.

  4. Ferno says:

    Well that last sentence was a bit dour.

  5. Scumbag says:

    “Koei Tecmo”


  6. FroshKiller says:

    Top marks for the headline.

    • FurryLippedSquid says:

      Ha, only just noticed it.

      I love those surreal bastards.

    • Capt. Bumchum McMerryweather says:

      Not to put too fine a point on it, say I’m the only man in your gullet.

      • Renzatic says:

        My name is giant titan, one note spelled B.I.T.E!
        My story’s infinite!
        Like my hunger for eating people, it doesn’t end!

      • Renzatic says:

        Little titan running down the alley who wants to kill me
        Cuz he wants to eat me whole!
        Make a little warm place in your gut!

  7. LetSam says:

    They shoot the grappling hooks from those hip launchers or whatever they’re called again. There’s a limited albeit quite large supply in the anime (haven’t read the manga). The graphics seem pretty faithful to the show, which is one of the few anime I managed to watch till the end.

    Think of it as a daytime soap in a future medieval Europe in the grip of a massive plague and you might be able to stand the constant dramatic screaming.

  8. Suits says:

    Basically the manga revolves around tactical warfare against these titans. Here it looks like they basically charge head first into the most dangerous ones of all.

  9. Hobbes says:

    It’s a koei tecmo port, and oh gods is it bad, AGAIN

    It’s like they deliberately try to screw up porting.

  10. Velleic says:

    That headline truly is a pun of puns!

  11. laggyluk says:

    no giant ding-dongs?

  12. thelastpointer says:

    I haven’t watched the anime, but this looks like an interesting game.

  13. Jay Load says:

    “HUMANITY IS FIGHTING BACK!!!”, screams the tiny anime psychopath. I watched a few of the first episodes but found him too off-putting to continue. From what I saw he only has two emotional states: BLISTERING, SCREAMING RAAAAAAGE, and Asleep (probably dreaming about rage).

    Game seems to have captured the meat of the show, though. Possibly some of the gristle as well. (Sorry, Adam)(I’m not sorry, Adam).

  14. Mokinokaro says:

    According to steam reviews, the port is pretty bad. It’s Toukiden level again.

    Bad keyboard controls, no resolutions above 1080p and a lot of crashing.

    Additionally the game has a bad camera issue on all versions where you have to constantly adjust the camera while swinging.

  15. malkav11 says:

    Don’t worry. Having seen one episode you’ve effectively seen at least six because of the amount of pointless repetition in that series.

  16. noodlecake says:

    I kind of fancy this (the series). I’m not a fan of any of the 4-5 visual styles that 99.9% of Japanese animators copy but on a technical level the animation in this looks very smooth and impressive and looks like a neat concept.

    I do wish more anime studios would allow their animators to loosen up a bit though!! There’s a handful of animators/studios in Japan who are a bit more adventurous when it comes to visual style. Studio 4C are great for releasing films and series with less conventional art directions. And Masaaki Yuasa is amazing.

    • Mokinokaro says:

      A LOT of the generic animation styles are because they’re easier to make merchandise with.

      The shows are not the big money makers. They’re just giant commercials for the tie-ins like ridiculously overpriced figurines and model kits.

      • Capt. Bumchum McMerryweather says:

        It depends on what you consider overpriced. The Gundam model kits specifically have so much amazing engineering and attention to detail put into them that a lot of them are well worth the asking price.

  17. Sin Vega says:

    You did the right thing. The first episode is horrific, those giants are remarkably disturbing. It immediately goes downhill from there, I was sick of it before long and never managed to finish even one series.

    Game could be good though, hopefully they kill off absolutely all the characters from the series as soon as possible, the intolerable dullards.

  18. DeadCanDance says:

    Maybe you were cannibalized in you last life, Adam?

  19. moryseth says:

    Released today? Where? I see the 30 of august, is that an article created just to get views.

  20. qrter says:

    Interesting, I’ve heard quite a lot of people say they’ve only watched the first episode and then stopped, myself included.

    For me the problem was that it had an interestingly weird setup, but then the actual story being told was ridden with cliches and just sort of dull (even with all the screaming).

    • Velleic says:

      Yeah, the screaming is what turned me off. Not screaming at titans, no. Screaming at each other about HOPE and FAILURE, meanwhile the budget has run out for the episode so the screaming is in the most static shots you’ve ever seen.

  21. int says:

    Can you play a titan? They seem much cooler. I want to be the Harry and the Hendersons titan.

    • Behrditz says:

      Yes, a very specific one. For people who watched the anime/read the manga, yes theres a stage where you play as him.

  22. RanDomino says:

    The correct version of the game is the free one that’s been online for a few years, and the correct version of the show is the TeamFourStar Abridged version.

  23. C0llic says:

    I agree. The knowledge that this anime plays into that and another fetish (there’s one just about being eaten by about giant people, I shit you not) makes the whole thing all the more creepy.

    • C0llic says:

      Intended to be a reply. Not sure why I bother trying to comment really. Please fix it RPS, I know you know how appalling it is.

  24. spudthedestroyer says:

    So I am a freak. I love horror, this story massively appealed to me. The anime was fun, but pacing was everywhere. Without spoiling much:

    Massive carnage
    Training montage
    Massive carnage
    Convoluted mission
    Double Bluff <- Anime Ends
    Reveal <- big twist
    Reveal <- new beasty
    Reveal <- new beasty
    Political thriller <- waaay too long
    Attack on Titan Epicnesses <- super carnage

    In theory next manga we finally get to see the basement. Could be Jimmy Saville's S&M dungeon or something? Maybe a mini-game.

    I was going to buy today, but the bad port I am worried about. Do these get patched by the community quick or do i just pick this up at 0.99 EUR?

  25. JiminyJickers says:

    What devilry is this? They released a PC game before the console version. Are we now living in opposite world!

  26. Moonracer says:

    I played around with a Garry’s Mod version of the dual grappling hook gadget they use and had a lot of fun swinging around big maps. But the gameplay in that trailer looks like a mess.

    At least this post has gotten me a little more interested in the show.

  27. The Algerian says:

    Not a very good adaptation or port, from what I’ve seen.

    Fenglee’s fan game is much better.

  28. eclipse mattaru says:

    Everything that freaks you out about the anime is precisely what intrigued me to take a look. But then it turned out the protagonist is an impossibly annoying teenage boy whose personality I could barely stand for about one episode, and that was that.

    I’ll never understand what’s with Japanese and bratty teens.

  29. bill says:

    I just kept finding it weird that the titans were all naked, but we never saw any bits.

    It’s hard to find them scary when you keep focusing on their lack of dangly bits…

    Maybe it’s just me…

    • MisterFurious says:

      It’s stated in the show that they don’t have naughty bits.

  30. Rince says:

    – Giants attacks!! How we do fight them? Artillery strike? Bombs? Steel cables? Pits? A very angry kitten?
    Nah, better lets use swords and high tech grapples in a overcomplicated maneuver that could get all us killed!
    – But why?
    – Because looks really really cool!
    – Yeay!

    • MisterFurious says:

      They regenerate all damage unless they are slashed on the nape of the neck, which is why artillery, bombs, and angry kittens don’t work.