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They Bite Me, Giants: Attack On Titan Released

I love horror films. Can’t get enough of ’em. Whether it’s a splatterfest of guts and giblets, or a brainful of anxious creeping dread, I’ll generally find something to enjoy. I’ve only ever watched one episode of Attack on Titan [official site] though, because something about it makes me feel intensely uncomfortable. It’s not just that its anime, it’s the sight of characters screaming and bleeding as they vanish down the throat-pipe of giant, mindless, occasionally-skinless humanoids. I guess I have a primal fear of being chewed up and then slowly digested inside a massive man’s gut. Weird.

Anyhow. The Attack on Titan game [official site] is out today. I will not be playing it.

SPOILER ALERT. According to Koei Tecmo, that launch trailer reveals that you can play beyond the first season of the series in the game. I’m guessing that has something to do with the specific beasties shown in the video? It’s the smallest ones that bother me the most, the ones that really do look like humans gone a bit wrong rather than the more explicitly inhuman and monstrous things that take up most of the trailer’s running time.

There’s an uncanny valley effect to that last one though. It’s like somebody tried to mould a giant man using sausage meat, glued it all together and didn’t get it quite right. And then gave it teeth and told it to eat everyone in the world while smiling.

As for the game itself, if I were being generous I’d say it looks like Shadow of the Colossus with the addition of speedy zipping about using grappling hooks, but if I were feeling less than generous I’d say I find it very difficult to figure out where those hooks are attached and it all looks a bit messy and difficult to read.

I wonder if there’s a minigame where you can struggle in a giant’s gullet for a while, already split in half by its teeth, and try to do some small amount of damage to its internals as you slide downwards, slowly disintegrating?

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Adam Smith

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