Remember the high school examination hall? The sweat, the terror, the little crib notes you wrote on the inside of your shirt pocket. Don’t lie to me, I know you did it. There’s no way you passed physics without scribbling ‘F=MA’ on the sole of your left boot. All right, all right, let’s say you didn’t cheat…. Would you like to?
Highschool 101 by Team NoIdea
Cheaters never prosper. Except under examination conditions. Then they get full marks! Take on the role of every filthy rascal in the classroom by cheating your way through exam after exam. Only one or two kids in the class will have a smartphone to look up the answers. From that point, you have to whisper and throw paper airplanes with embedded notes to reach the rest of your classmates and spread the success. Each kid has a limited amount of actions however. Meaning if you whisper to the clump of students to your right, you won’t be able to do the same for those on your left. All the while, teachers are patrolling between desks with giant sticks and they will beat and flunk any child caught cheating. Just like the good old times! Try and get a decent pass rate to make it to the next level. And if somehow you mess up and find no way of spreading the answers, hold down ‘R’ to restart.
Scoot Scoot by islipaway
All right friend, all you need to do to ride a scooter is just eeeeaaase into it. That’s it, just pull back the acceleration trigger lightly, lightly… NOT LIGHT ENOUGH SUCKER. You fell off your scooter. You can’t even do one lap of this three-lap practice course without hitting the cones, adding precious quarter-seconds to your time. You can’t even turn without bouncing around the place like a drunk toddler on a moving train. The aim is to get around this course with the shortest time. Some people have managed it in a whopping 1 minute 30 seconds. Meanwhile, you can’t get past the cherry trees without launching yourself onto the tarmac. You need to balance your scooter with the left joystick. Both vertically and horizontally. You are using a gamepad, right? WHAT. Get back to the starting line. You are a disgrace.
Silver Trigger 64 by Marcus Horn
Listen up Agent 0064, you are the best spy we’ve got. I know you see everything in blocky low-poly shapes, I know you can only walk at a slow non-stop pace, and you can only turn at strict right-angles, but dammit you’re the best field agent we’ve got. Infiltrate the three levels of this one-button game and only fire your pistol when you absolutely have to. If a guard hasn’t seen you yet, don’t go drawing attention to yourself. And remember to reload when your clip is empty. Head into the casino, through the secret facility and get onto the submarine. The bad man is down there and he must be stopped. Good luck, 0064. This is British Secret Intelligence Corps Service Squad signing out.
Max Tato’s Radicool B-Ball 1996 by jukio kallio
Hey dood, are you ready to get radicool with the best b-ball blast since Baller Sim ‘94? Better look up dawg, because here comes Max Tato’s Radicool B-Ball 1996, the world’s newest first-person sports thrill. Grab the b-ball and shoot for the hoop, with every ‘hoopie’ another buddy will come onto the court to make things harder for you. Punch them away from the b-ball (and yourself) by clicking at them furiously, securing your place in the b-ball b-hall of fame-all. But watch out, as we all know, every b-ball has a HP meter diminishing with every bounce, and the ball will pop when it reaches zero. Leap into the air and grab that ball. Score hoopies, they are the only thing that matters in this squeaky-floored universe. I got four. I cannot be beaten.
Twitter Island by Daniel Linssen
This game developer reached 10,000 followers on Twitter and decided to say thank you to each and every one of them. So he turned them all into birds and put them on a massive island. Thanks, guys! All you do here is walk around, listening to the bird-followers as they tell you their favourite foods (baked potato) or think out loud about things (lava) or ask if you’ve seen some other @bird because they want to hang out with them. But it does give you a sense of just how big the number 10,000 can be. And, I suppose, if you are one of followers, you could go looking for yourself. Tweet tweet.