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Steam Game Charts: Gut Feeling

I am ill today. It’s my guts, you see. My Goddamned guts. Despite my imminent death by a thousand craps, I am duty-bound to bring you the regular round-up of what sold best on Steam last week. Think of me, won’t you, as you wonder how many humans who don’t yet own Counter-Strike: Global Offensive there can possibly be in the world, and lament the total absence this week of anything we might traditionally deem to be ‘indie.’

1. Deus Ex: Mankind Divided

Routine observation/pun: Square Enix executives asked for this. Truth be told, I wasn’t entirely convinced DXMD was a foregone conclusion for the top spot, as publicity/hype didn’t seem to shift into top gear until very late in the day, plus the game below this one still seemed to be chewing up the internet’s attention. It’s always nice to see a Deus Ex do well though, even if I think a returning Adam Jensen wasn’t the most effective approach. I’ve been enjoying myself more by steadfastedly avoiding too many situations in which the old bore speaks, such as a four-hour bank robbery. Almost everyone in that bank is now unconscious. I’m extremely curious as to how this will be handled in the event that, as seems likely, I shall need to return to the scene of my extensive crime for a storyline mission.

2. No Man’s Sky

Everyone continues to have a great many OPINIONS about No Man’s Sky. I do not, at least no publicly, because disclosure I did some writing for it etc.

3. Grand Theft Auto V

Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as in heaven.
Give us today a reprevie from including GTA V here every week.
Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those who continue to purchase Grand Theft Auto V.
Lead us not into Counter-Strike: Global Offensive
but deliver us from Dead By Daylight.
For the kingdom, the pre-orders,
and the downloadable content are yours
now and for ever.
Amen.

5. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

Back once again for the old horndog, and once again it’s because of a sale. The base game was down to $25 last week, ahead of the just-released $50 GOTY version. FYI it’s now up to $40, which is frankly a fairly tiny saving on the DLC-augmented GOTY package.

5. DARK SOULS III

It’s a cracker without a doubt, but it’s here because it spent last week with its price slashed by a third to 40 bucks rather than because the world got over-excited about the upcoming DLC.

6. Dead by Daylight

Sorry can’t write anything about this, have to run to the toilet because my guts. Phew!

7. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

SORRY I’M STILL ON THE TOILET. I’LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE.

8. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt + Expansion Pass Launch

Oh look I’m back now, what a coinky-dink. As far as I can tell/guess, this is now withdrawn from sale, in favour of the slightly more content-tastic GOTY edition. Again, it was on sale last week, hence barging back into the charts.

9.Deus Ex: Mankind Divided – Season Pass

I would have words with those people who buy season passes before they’ve had a chance to meaningfully play the base game. Even when it’s Deus Ex. Yes, I know the idea of missing out is terrible, but honestly, this stuff will still be there later. Check you really, truly like the game before you commit yourself to paying for even more of it.

10. Attack on Titan / A.O.T. Wings of Freedom

For some reason I thought Attack on Titan was a Wachoswkis project. It’s something I’ve only ever heard of in RSS feed headlines and never looked into further, so I must have conflated with something else. Anyway, it’s a manga-then-anime fighty-game adaptation, and people seem to like it and… I’m sorry, I really am suffering here. Those were the charts. One day, if you’re really good, there will be more charts.

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