Giant Machines 2017 Is A Sim About Giant Machines

GIANT MACHINES!

HONKING GREAT HONKERS RUMBLING TO A PC NEAR YOU

MEGA-MINERS! DONKING DUMPERS!

DEVOUR MOUNTAINS! SCHLEP SPACE SHUTTLES! DEMOLISH DEMOLISH DEMOLISH!

G I A N T M A C H I N E S

Giant Machines 2017 [official site] is a lightweight simulator about completing missions in mahoosive machines. Shuttle a space shuttle on a mega-crawler and attach its booster rockets with a mega-crane! Tear into a mountain with one of those wheel-mouthed mining alligators! Demolish structures! Dump like a truck, truck, truck! Lift! Haul! Smash! GIANT MACHINES.

It’s fair to say that the concept and name have me a wee bit excited. PC gaming has loads of janky niche sims, building and demolishing and lifting and dumping and whatnot, but Giant Machines 2017 is on a scale that speaks directly to a five-year-old’s imagination. Which is apparently still somewhere inside me. GIANT MACHINES. I’d be astonished if it’s not wonky and a bit tedious and disappointing but GIANT MACHINES. My day is made by the very idea of it.

Giant Machines 2017 has a ‘story campaign’ with missions combining several machines, as well as time attack missions and a Machine Library to stare at GIANT MACHINES. Publishers PlayWay explain:

“During the 14 mission campaign you will punch through the snows of Greenland, plow the steppes of Wyoming and travel all the way to sunny Florida. Your hard work will be completed by launching a space shuttle to the International Space Station.”

TO THE ISS!

Giant Machines 2017 is out on Steam for £11.99/15,99€/$15.99, which includes a launch discount.

From this site

31 Comments

  1. Al__S says:

    Of course, this link to youtu.be

  2. AskForBarry says:

    I usually don’t care so much for VR, but this, here, has potential.
    Real potential.

  3. Turkey says:

    Tonight on Discovery

  4. Premium User Badge

    cpt_freakout says:

    I totally expected that trailer to have a 90’s hair metal background track with a high-pitched announcer screaming GIANT MACHIIIIINEEEESSS, but hey, the THIS SUMMER movie trailer vibe is equally ridiculous.

  5. Spacewalk says:

    I’ll be honest, a bit of sex wee came out watching that trailer.

  6. inspiredhandle says:

    Why would they launch a decommissioned space craft in 2017?

    • inspiredhandle says:

      I get its so you can use the crawler (the biggest land based wheeled thing, I think) but the shuttle has been retired since 2011. Why didn’t they just forego using 2017? This can’t only bother me (it probably can).

  7. Skiv says:

    BIG RIGS!!!

  8. Premium User Badge

    Mungrul says:

    It’s not the Bagger 288 (or even more monstrous Bagger 293), but I remember my Dad taking me to see Sundew in Corby back when I were a nipper, and it was indeed MAHOOSIVE. The coolest thing is that it was a walker.
    link to upload.wikimedia.org

    • inspiredhandle says:

      Big machines are indeed fascinating. I did contract work at a port for a while, a few years ago. Used to see a lot of big ships ‘n’ such. I remember there was a massive car transport ship berthed right next to me as I was welding away.
      The bastard sounded it’s horn not 20ft from me. I’ve never been so terrified of a sound in my life. Was life fucking war of the worlds or something.
      BIG SHIPS!

  9. Someoldguy says:

    Oooh! Can we please have a Terra-mek DLC. Pleeeease? Tyrrano-mek, Fantas-tek, King Konka and Mech-Quake… BIG JOBS! BIG JOBS!

  10. Ross Angus says:

    Could we please have John review this, with interjections from Toby?

  11. Massenstein says:

    Mahoosive! I learned a new word today and it is a word I like.

  12. Rao Dao Zao says:

    I suppose I’m intrigued by what narrative they could use to give these 14 missions continuity — is it going to be something like Armageddon, where only you can operate the machinery in space to save Earth?

    • Catterbatter says:

      “We don’t have time to train astronauts to operate heavy equipment. It will be much easier to train heavy equipment operators to be astronauts.”

  13. Premium User Badge

    Nauallis says:

    Intense drama at 1/2 mph!
    link to youtu.be

  14. StAUG says:

    BAGGER 288 BAGGER 288
    BAGGER BAGGER BAGGER 288 BAGGER 288

  15. LewdPenguin says:

    Hmm a swing and another miss it looks like for me, if only because I doubt any company has the time to make an actually decent sim of so many different vehicles, especially on a new IP, so we just get a quick whistle stop tour that whisks us onto the next thing before the faults of each become too glaringly obvious.
    We have Farming Sim which despite its great many flaws has a decent go at giving the player a good selection of stuff to play with in a somewhat typical everyday manner, and the wider Sim market seems to have covered a great many of the more niche possibilities in the last few years but for some reason I’ve never seen anyone have a decent go at a quarry sim, which seems a little odd to me. You get the scope to include excavators and tipper trucks of all sizes whilst progressing from a small aggregate working up through purchasing larger and (mineral) richer sites to excavate, so you instantly tick the boxes of cool toys to play with and a obvious natural progression path for a typical RPG lite company building aspect. Assuming the game engine could handle a decent scale you would even end up with minor puzzle elements as you figured out how to dig deeper within your owned land whilst maintaining the ability to still get back up again, and of course if the license could be procured then a Bagger would make a fantastic final goal vehicle/installation that allowed you to nomnomnom whatever land you had left at a ridiculous rate. It appears to tick all the boxes so I do wonder why nobody has ever had a decent crack at such a game, at present it looks like it’ll only ever happen when Farming Sim has gone everywhere they can think of with fields and forestry and lets us dig everything up as well.

    • inspiredhandle says:

      Agreed. Sounds like a good proposition for a solid sim.
      Would the bagger be used in a quarry though? Is it not mainly for coal strip mining and clearing overburden?