Happy democracy day, United States of America! I’m sure you’re all sick of voting by now but the rest of the world just can’t wait to see if the new leader you choose destroys the world or only slightly harms it. Don’t worry, at Free Loaders we still believe in wonderful democracy. We’ve got games for all sorts of people here. Games for skeletons, games for fish, games for babies – that’s almost everybody! The only people we don’t have games for is those who can vote but don’t. So if that’s you, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. No free games for you. Get out.
The Voter Suppression Trail by GOP Arcade
A poll-emical parody of the Oregon Trail. Choose your character and head to the polls on election day. Will your latina nurse stay in line even if her son has dysentery, even when some unofficial polling “observers” start to throw insults at her? Can your black salesman endure the freezing rain of his Wisconsin polling place, even while his boss threatens to take away his shifts if he doesn’t get back to work? And how will your white programmer in California fare when faced with… oh, oh I see. You may recognise the GOP Arcade, makers of this “op-doc” for the New York Times. They are responsible for other political games like Thoughts & Prayers and obviously have a lot to say on the subject of voting practices in the US. Of course, if you are in the States, you shouldn’t be inside playing videogames, you should be out there waiting in line and casting your ballot. Sort your life out.
Skreletons Hotdog Kitchen by M Scott McBee
You need a VR headset to play this, either the Vive or Oculus will do, and possibly some of those hand-thingies. As a result I’ve not been able to verify the tastiness of its hotdog buns, the sauciness of its ketchup and mustard, nor the spookiness of its skreletons. This is normally against my posting rules. But having witnessed the ongoing development of this batshit culinary chaos via the medium of Gifs In Tweets, and enjoying the madness of every single one, I would be a sorry human being if I did not include it for the three people who read this column with access to a VR headset. You, you and you – I hope you all enjoy it. As for the rest of us plebs, we can only look at the gifs and dream of a brighter future. One where making hotdogs and firing them from a crossbow into the mouths of our floating head customers is available to everyone, regardless of class, creed or colour. #voteskreletons #imwithskulls
The Fish Market by Grace Bruxner
“it is a fish market except it’s underwater and the fish sell stuff”. Explore a small market of fish hawking their wares and being very happy about it. There’s the squid selling ink “for drawing pics” and the crab selling “rocks 4 u” and a big eel thing selling “shellphones”. So many bright colours, so many wonderful products. Enjoy the sight of giant whales swimming by overhead, revel in the clever tables which all have chains and balls instead of legs, meet the most famous turtle who ever swam the seas – that’s right, Terry the Turtel is here! There’s so much colourful detail in such a small place, even the starfish peppered on the ground have little eyes and smiles. And if it ever feels like too much, just hang out in the marquis with the band. They are playing your favourite song.
My Baby PC by marbenx
Perfectly normal children’s operating system. Comes with two pre-installed games. Brongus – a breakout clone – and Pewppp! – a missile defence clone. Also a little text editor and calculator so that your child can learn some words and numbers. What more can a busy parent do for their little one than get them on the PC platform early? I can personally guarantee that this OS is not prone to critical failures and strange glitches, like other machines. And all the difficult settings and extras are hidden. No, this is a straight shooter. Your child will be learning in no time, counting numbers, humming music, reciting sinister phrases which you may not recognise as belonging to this world. It’s a little miracle in a box. Take home My Baby PC today.
LUZ by snekdev
Walkabout simulator within a monochrome world of blocks, mountains and monuments. There’s a little bit of discovery to this one, so I will hold back. But it did get me to say: “oh!” within the first few seconds and then a longer, slower “oh” a few minutes later once I realised what was going on. Like this: “oooohhhhhhh.” A light and mysterious dander around an alien desert full of visual noise.
Want more free games? Check out the Best of Free Loaders collection or check our newly updated list of the 50 best free games on PC. Got a free game yourself? Give it to @Brendy_C or endure a life of distress and shame