Free Loaders: An Election Day Game About Bad Polls

Happy democracy day, United States of America! I’m sure you’re all sick of voting by now but the rest of the world just can’t wait to see if the new leader you choose destroys the world or only slightly harms it. Don’t worry, at Free Loaders we still believe in wonderful democracy. We’ve got games for all sorts of people here. Games for skeletons, games for fish, games for babies – that’s almost everybody! The only people we don’t have games for is those who can vote but don’t. So if that’s you, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. No free games for you. Get out.

The Voter Suppression Trail by GOP Arcade

A poll-emical parody of the Oregon Trail. Choose your character and head to the polls on election day. Will your latina nurse stay in line even if her son has dysentery, even when some unofficial polling “observers” start to throw insults at her? Can your black salesman endure the freezing rain of his Wisconsin polling place, even while his boss threatens to take away his shifts if he doesn’t get back to work? And how will your white programmer in California fare when faced with… oh, oh I see. You may recognise the GOP Arcade, makers of this “op-doc” for the New York Times. They are responsible for other political games like Thoughts & Prayers and obviously have a lot to say on the subject of voting practices in the US. Of course, if you are in the States, you shouldn’t be inside playing videogames, you should be out there waiting in line and casting your ballot. Sort your life out.

Skreletons Hotdog Kitchen by M Scott McBee

You need a VR headset to play this, either the Vive or Oculus will do, and possibly some of those hand-thingies. As a result I’ve not been able to verify the tastiness of its hotdog buns, the sauciness of its ketchup and mustard, nor the spookiness of its skreletons. This is normally against my posting rules. But having witnessed the ongoing development of this batshit culinary chaos via the medium of Gifs In Tweets, and enjoying the madness of every single one, I would be a sorry human being if I did not include it for the three people who read this column with access to a VR headset. You, you and you – I hope you all enjoy it. As for the rest of us plebs, we can only look at the gifs and dream of a brighter future. One where making hotdogs and firing them from a crossbow into the mouths of our floating head customers is available to everyone, regardless of class, creed or colour. #voteskreletons #imwithskulls

The Fish Market by Grace Bruxner

“it is a fish market except it’s underwater and the fish sell stuff”. Explore a small market of fish hawking their wares and being very happy about it. There’s the squid selling ink “for drawing pics” and the crab selling “rocks 4 u” and a big eel thing selling “shellphones”. So many bright colours, so many wonderful products. Enjoy the sight of giant whales swimming by overhead, revel in the clever tables which all have chains and balls instead of legs, meet the most famous turtle who ever swam the seas – that’s right, Terry the Turtel is here! There’s so much colourful detail in such a small place, even the starfish peppered on the ground have little eyes and smiles. And if it ever feels like too much, just hang out in the marquis with the band. They are playing your favourite song.

My Baby PC by marbenx

Perfectly normal children’s operating system. Comes with two pre-installed games. Brongus – a breakout clone – and Pewppp! – a missile defence clone. Also a little text editor and calculator so that your child can learn some words and numbers. What more can a busy parent do for their little one than get them on the PC platform early? I can personally guarantee that this OS is not prone to critical failures and strange glitches, like other machines. And all the difficult settings and extras are hidden. No, this is a straight shooter. Your child will be learning in no time, counting numbers, humming music, reciting sinister phrases which you may not recognise as belonging to this world. It’s a little miracle in a box. Take home My Baby PC today.

LUZ by snekdev

Walkabout simulator within a monochrome world of blocks, mountains and monuments. There’s a little bit of discovery to this one, so I will hold back. But it did get me to say: “oh!” within the first few seconds and then a longer, slower “oh” a few minutes later once I realised what was going on. Like this: “oooohhhhhhh.” A light and mysterious dander around an alien desert full of visual noise.

Want more free games? Check out the Best of Free Loaders collection or check our newly updated list of the 50 best free games on PC. Got a free game yourself? Give it to @Brendy_C or endure a life of distress and shame

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32 Comments

  1. Jediben says:

    Trump!

  2. Canama says:

    I already voted like two weeks ago.

    Also, to my fellow Americans: let’s please never do this again.

  3. Smoof says:

    Hey, I voted two weeks ago when I got my mail in ballot

  4. Premium User Badge

    john_silence says:

    I’m out then *heavy gates slam shut*

  5. Premium User Badge

    magogjack says:

    Its perfectly acceptable not to vote if there is no one worth voting for.

    • GrammarCop says:

      No. No it isn’t. If you don’t think anybody is worth voting for, write somebody in. Even if the write-in doesn’t count in your state. Being an inactive moron sitting at home isn’t a protest vote, it’s accepting the bullshit and tacitly approving it. Get off your ass and go write something in.

      • pepperfez says:

        Write-ins are every bit as self indulgent as not voting. Voting’s not meant to be an expressive act; it’s meant to distribute power. If there’s honestly no appreciable difference between the available, plausibly-electable candidates…you aren’t paying attention.

      • Kaeoschassis says:

        On a practical level there is zero functional difference between a vote that doesn’t count, and no vote. On an idealogical level, you call it accepting the bullshit, others call it NOT accepting the entire system you’re voting through in the first place.

        EDIT: Of course, I’m playing devil’s advocate here because it’s a thing I enjoy – in this instance there’s a WORLD of difference between the candidates and I absolutely would not sit at home and refuse to vote – except that I’m not actually american or even anywhere near america.

        • Coming Second says:

          Not voting is a tacit acceptance of the current system, and relinquishing your right to complain about it. It says to politicians that you have no interest in being engaged by them, so they shouldn’t even bother attempting to address your concerns. Corrupt politicians love nothing more than the depoliticised, because the more of them there are, the less they are held to account.

          A spoiled vote or a write-in, on the other hand, is much more worrying to mainstream politicians. It tells them that you *are* politically engaged, but nothing they are offering works for you. That’s dangerous.

    • Regicider 12.4% says:

      Vermin Supreme is always worthwhile in that case. link to i.imgur.com
      Free ponies for all!

    • brucethemoose says:

      Vote 3rd party, at the very least. Show that you don’t support this insanity, and that you’re not apathetic either.

      In case you didn’t notice, 3rd party candidates got alot more votes this year…

  6. LordSheogorath says:

    Hillary for Prison

    • yogibbear says:

      She is, based on everything the FBI has released, factually guilty of gross negligence in handling classified information. So yes if the Department of Justice actually bothers to prosecute her then she will be found guilty. The current AG though jumped on Bill’s plane and somehow talked about kids and then decided not to prosecute. :/

  7. brucethemoose says:

    Well, RPS comments over the next few days should be… interesting.

  8. A Wanderer says:

    I’m out. I’m fucking out of here.
    When is the next shuttle to Mars, exactly ?

  9. aircool says:

    Man… all those fart jokes I made don’t seem so funny now.

  10. Premium User Badge

    DelrueOfDetroit says:

    Looks like it is GOG and piracy for the next 4-8 years!

  11. atarimae says:

    Anything to do in my baby PC after getting to the star part?

  12. NoTanFightFan says:

    The voting game tells me I have no life problems because I’m white, and that Republicans often protest at voting polls to stop minorities from voting (because they don’t believe in democracy).

    Yet, my heavily Liberal influenced news tells me Democrats are rioting and protesting in the streets over the election (because they believe in the right to choose) and are beating up Republican’s for using their right to choose, as well as hundreds of thousands of votes being cast for a deceased gorilla, random celebrities, and other joke choices (meaning they actually were afforded the right to vote and used it to do this) so that these voters could post their hilarious joke votes on social media and get a few laughs.

    I love being told how that no matter what hard times I fall on, the problems I face are not real. Thank you Liberal propaganda game.

    Other than that, I love this website, and the articles. I just found that game to be someone pushing Liberal propaganda to divide people, again, by race and sex. We all have these dumb voting problems because of work and family. I know it’s only a game, but it isn’t trying to parody problems, it’s trying to force a biased narrative in the guise of a parody. It could have been funny, but wound up just pushing the same agenda that keeps us divided as people. I know that’s just life guys, it’s just frustrating to see this everywhere these days. I know for a fact my generation was winning this battle against racism and it was becoming a non-factor, and we were all friends, and now we’re all being told we don’t really like each other on a daily basis, and that we are all victims of the opposite race, so that we again fight amongst each other and get nothing important done.

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