All is quiet in games land. The year’s major games have been released, Thanksgiving has been and gone, and everyone is watching the calendar as time ticks towards the Christmas break. That means it’s a pretty slow time of year for meaty game news. Also, Alice – our news editor – is off this week. Which in turn means I just spent some time playing Goldie Princess Skin Doctor.
We get sent emails to a lot of these games, in which you click on tools and then click on faces in order to help faux Disney princesses or celebrities recover from terrible injuries, fashion disasters, bad hair days and more. We’ve written about them previously, particularly the strange Frozen pregnancy games.
Elsa Emergency Birth has you applying stethoscopes, ultrasounds and fluids to a placid Elsa who appears no more likely to have a contraction than she is to be an officially licensed entity from Frozen. Elsa then has a nap and a baby emerges from a floral pattern on her stomach. The baby has no umbilical cord and thus no tummy button. It does, however, have a flower in place of genitals and – aww – it has its mother’s eye makeup, how cute. I do hope my own children inherit my eyeliner gene. I cover its floral bits in a nappy and swaddle it as best I can. The game ends with the baby inside what looks like an envelope being cuddled by its mother.
The game below is, I think, based on Rapunzel from Tangled? Her hair is a mess and she is having some serious skin problems, and so you must click the objects along the bottom of the screen and then either hover them over parts of her face or click on parts of her face in order to make blemishes disappear. Every stage is clearly directed via arrows telling you what to do. Occasionally you progress to a new level and the tools along the bottom change. Each level change is marked by a little aspirational image, one of which is about taking a selfie in Paris.
You can play it for yourself here in just a couple of minutes. Alternatively you can do as requested here and tell me what I should be doing with my time instead. No, we won’t post about everything.