Foal play: a tiny look at Horse World Online

Horse World Online

Fun fact*: horses freak me out. I remember being a kid and a lot of my friends being really into horseriding and pony club stuff and I just didn’t get it. Horses were and are terrifyingly large and really odd-looking to me; a collection of muscle and bone I still struggle to make sense of or feel warmth towards. This Sunday’s episode of Planet Earth where mustangs bit and kicked at one another really did not help. I am, however, faring a bit better with Horse World Online [official site] – a browser game about owning, training and breeding horses.

I’m still in the super early stages of the game and the horses I own are not exactly setting the equine world on fire, despite me naming them BEST HORSE and SECOND BEST HORSE. Currently I am waiting for the mare (BEST HORSE) to give birth to a foal (THIRD BEST HORSE) so I’m forcing BEST HORSE and SECOND BEST HORSE to go through rigorous training and competition entry rather than just letting them stand around in the starter paddock munching grass and, in the case of BEST HORSE, gestating THIRD BEST HORSE.

The game plays out across a number of menus, so it’s not like Secret of the Magic Crystals where you have QTEs and animation to contend with, it’s more of a numbers management project with horse framing. You do your tasks, train the horses to level up various attributes, clothe them in horse outfits (bridles and saddles and the like), submit them for competitions, breed them for fun and profit, and level up your own skills in order to own and train more horses.

There’s time-gating when it comes to your turns which is how the game keeps you coming back or encourages you to spend real-world money in order to reduce the time it takes for turns to generate. Without spending money you earn a new turn (i.e. a new day wherein your horse is fed and rested) every 20 minutes so it reminds me of how Fallen London used to work when I played it. Investigating further, if you end up spending a lot of time with the game and doing activities which earn you pony tokens (one of the in-game currencies) then you can actually upgrade your membership, which helps out on the turn regeneration front amongst other things by spending 500 of those a month.

There is a lot going on in Horse World Online so I’m just pottering about with the basics of training and competition entry at the moment and I’ll see where I end up. Right now my starter pasture feels enormous – to the point where BEST HORSE and SECOND BEST HORSE are rarely even within a couple of screens of one another as I pan around the field. I tried to make SECOND BEST HORSE a bit more alluring by putting a pink rug on him but it hasn’t really helped. Perhaps THIRD BEST HORSE will be the band-aid baby they need to fix their relationship.

Oh, and I’m genuinely sad I missed out on the Halloween event because that seemed to involve HORSE GHOST COSTUMES.

Horse World Online

*YMMV

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16 Comments

  1. Premium User Badge

    Benratha says:

    The ‘article continues below’ thing seems to be happening a lot…..

  2. Lexx87 says:

    The Horse Battle on Planet Earth 2 was heart breaking in a way. It was such a fight. The way the winner is chosen, not by who manages to kill or maim the other (even thought that can happen) but, if you miss enough times with your kick it’s almost like disqualification.

    Success meaning not only do you keep the respect of your wives, but also take the other guys girls with you too, there’s all to play for. That poor white stallion :(

  3. Sin Vega says:

    I ain’t afraid of no horse ghost.

    In addition to their being weird, I have heard that horses are morons. I haven’t asked them about it though, it’s a difficult subject to bring up.

  4. Thankmar says:

    Maybe this is for you (if you ignore the pictures and one rape joke at the beginning).

  5. int says:

    link to youtube.com

    Must be posted on anything horse related.

  6. Pogs says:

    I’m glad Pony Tokens is finally a thing. I’d also like to add I feel THIRD BEST HORSE may suffer PTSD (Pony Traumatic Stress Disorder) from being named so in the long run.

  7. Premium User Badge

    Skabooga says:

    I also feel like horses are cold, uncaring bastards with no regard for humans (although based on our historical treatment of horses, I suppose I can’t blame them), so you’re not alone, Pip. Based on all the hassle it is to keep and maintain a horse, I’m convinced that all horse-owners are brainwashed members of some secret cult.

  8. LTK says:

    This Sunday’s episode of Planet Earth where mustangs bit and kicked at one another really did not help.

    Reminds me of that bit in Planet Earth where they showed that when zebras are fighting, they always try to bite each other’s legs, because their mouths are too small to bite any other part. So one zebra chased by another will sit on its legs to prevent them from being bitten. It looks very funny.

  9. urughak says:

    My 10 year old daughter just started taking riding lessons this past September. She is fantastic and a friend that has ridden competitively for years said she’s a natural. She actually was the one to get my girl and boy riding the first time last year as a friendly thing. I have a feeling I might need to pass this along to my daughter. :D TY Phillipa. So many things out there I never heard of.

  10. DORKSMAN says:

    the names of horses this site generates are amazing

    Rowdy Distraction
    Future Mistress
    Lush Phenomenon

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