Shocking: Magic Wand’s financial report buried amid labyrinth of corporate fronts but we found it anyway

While scraping my way through today’s news vomit, searching for a nourishing videogame nugget or chunk amid the Trumpish gunge, I found in my possession a startling and interesting financial report, which my sources inform me has only recently been “declassified”. It is the second Annual Report of the Harmony Zone corporation. “So what?” you ask. Well, as all intelligent reporters know, Harmony Zone is no more than a vast corporate front for one Stephen ‘thecatamites’ Gillmurphy. Aka the creator of Space Funeral, Murder Dog IV, 50 Short Games and most recently the camera-swivelling RPG Magic Wand.

The report, which you can read in full here, is interesting for several reasons. It openly and happily shows how much interest thecatamites’ games have gathered this year. There’s figures, certainly, and dollar signs, oh yes, oh yes. Raw, unfiltered data. A delicious find among today’s excreta. For example, we learn that Magic Wand has earned over $3000 USD for its master. More significantly, we are treated to some of the fiscal rhetoric of the lurid developer (who has never been seen in physical form).

“Sales to date are 561 copies- 544 on itch.io, where I did the main launch,” he said. “17 through gamejolt which I added later partly to have an excuse to tweet about the game again.”

In a section tackling the reception of the game, the artist LAMBASTS the press, commenting VENOMOUSLY on the prominence of the news-post and flying into a RAGE about internet commenters and the so-called ‘“Misrepresentative”’ media machine. He notes the influence of eminent YouTube personalities in the following quote, which we have edited for contextual purposes.

“Interestingly a few Let’s Play people picked it up and their audiences seemed to enjoy it. Re. the complaint about Let’s Plays for narrative games giving the entire story away, an advantage of this game is that the story is incomprehensible.”

The financial details go on, covering other games of the year. Numbers, dry and crisp. Revenue, distribution, analysis. It is a rare and intriguing glimpse into the mind of one of the videogames industry’s most reprehensible geniuses. He did the same thing last year and, hopefully, we will be able to navigate the offshore entities and fake tech start-ups which will inevitably be used to hide next year’s report.

Stay tuned for more vomit.

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24 Comments

  1. ColonelFlanders says:

    Guys, Brendan’s drunk, what should I do with him?

  2. robodojo says:

    This went right over my head.

    • Coming Second says:

      Same. I have no idea who this is or what these games are. I don’t really want to know. I mean, 3000 dollars for his cornerstone game? Rupert Murdoch level of evil influence right there.

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      cpt_freakout says:

      That’s a strange development – when I read it, it went right under my shins. But that’s neither here nor there, it’s everywhere.

    • sneetch says:

      Mine too, I’m not sure what this article is but it has the feel of an in joke that I’m not party to.

  3. Andrew says:

    Very interesting. Any idea why a lengthy report would be written and made publicly available for sub-poverty level earnings?

    • Geewhizbatman says:

      Oh, is that how we’re looking at games now? The business of them outside of the AAA, give the people their gruel, compromise whatever you can if it pays out is boring now, cool.

      I think sub-poverty level earnings for works as strange as this is still an achievement. Since, ya know, that’s clearly not the goal of these games. Reading through his development and thoughts was as interesting as it was with Pathologic’s team or Tale of Tales projects. I’m not sure I would have found it more or less interesting if the numbers were bigger.

      • Andrew says:

        I don’t have any problem with low earnings – my OP was merely a question of motive due to the time it would have taken to put it together. If Harmony Zone wrote the report to gain attention to their games then the report was clearly successful.

        • magogjack says:

          I will only be a success if we all remember to murder our friends and serve them up to the river god.

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      DantronLesotho says:

      FWIW it’s a great thing for other indie devs (like myself) to read because without which, we have no insight into the beginning process or what to expect.

  4. fabulousfurrygingerfreakbrothers says:

    A genuine question: are paragraphs 4 and 5 a Trump analogy? It works for me if it is, but I don’t know if that was the intention.

  5. magogjack says:

    Do you liek mah lehhhhgghggsssgs !

  6. Brendan Caldwell says:

    None of you deserve thecatamites.

    • Wulfram says:

      That’s an interesting statement to see on the sidebar without context

    • shde2e says:

      I am confused.
      Very, very confused.

      Which seems appropriate for the type of games he apparently makes, but also makes me question the sanity of the RPS Hivemind a bit.

  7. Just Endless says:

    i love this man, and did not know about this, so he can hereby expect his bottom line to move slightly upwards this day

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    DantronLesotho says:

    I really need to play these games