Will Dad Quest explain the mystery of where all these dads keep coming from?

Dads: what are they? Where do they come from? Why are they here? And how have these pod people managed to replace a full half of Rock, Paper, Shotgun? Some say games can offer powerful insight into others’ lives but, beyond Shower With Your Dad Simulator, almost all dad games star raging goons who stomp out the teeth of anyone who goes near their daughter figures. Is this all the dad is? I’ll have to study platform-o-action-a-APG ’em up Dad Quest [official site] when it hits early access next month. We must unlock the secret of the dads before they replace us all.

So. Playing as a dad, you swing and fling your child to duff up enemies. (Is that what dads do?) Giving your child toys and training can increase its powers and abilities. (Is that what dads want for us?) And the dad can collect heirlooms–pocketwatches, eggballs, funerary urns, and so on–to power up his abilities. (Is this why I always see dads in the park with an urn tucked under each arm?) It’s all a mystery to me but this trailer might help explain:

What are you, dads?

Dad Quest is coming to Steam Early Access on February 23rd. It’s made by–oh!–Sundae Month, who you might know from Diaries of a Spaceport Janitor and Petrichor. An old demo of Dad Quest is still up for download, though it is from back in 2015.

Personally, I’m pinning the greatest of my dad hopes on first-person stab ’em up Dad by the Sword. I only hope it arrives before I wake up a dad myself. (WHERE DO THEY COME FROM?)

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5 Comments

  1. MiniMatt says:

    Slam dunking toddlers into swarms of bees is basically 90% of the job.

    • Scandalon says:

      Pfft, 20%, max. (Unless you’re trying to get them to school on time, then yes, about 90%.)

  2. Scandalon says:

    You don’t wake up a dad. After becoming one, there is no more waking or sleeping, only daddying.

    We are dads, and we are legion.

  3. Sarfrin says:

    What are we? Dad tired.

  4. Premium User Badge

    Waltorious says:

    “…almost all dad games star raging goons who stomp out the teeth of anyone who goes near their daughter figures.”

    No, you are thinking of fathers. Those are father games. Fathers enjoy being extremely buff, growling in deep voices, and stomping the teeth out of anyone who goes near their daughter figures. Dads are quite different. Dads are more about telling bad jokes, growing moustaches, and slam dunking toddlers into swarms of bees.