Free Loaders: Dictator tower defence & hookshot cars

There is no greater love than that of free games. It is the purest love. The most generous love. The filthiest love. You try to hide it, but I know this love consumes you and constricts your bosom like an over-passionate anaconda. Don’t worry, you’re among friends here. We love free games too, and every week we bring you more. Think of us as your matchmaker. Your sordid, seedy matchmaker. Free games for the playing!

HOOK IT, DRIFT IT, RACE IT by Tim Garbos and martinpi

Single-course vehicular grappling hook time trial. Propel your car car forward with an elastic grappling hook and speed through the gates in what is described by the creator as: “A racing car, a hook, slowmotion, minigolf and slalom in just one game.” Slide about with little clouds of dust behind you and remember that time slows down when you use your hook. It’s like if Micro Machines met Super Hot and they joined forces to steal a grappling hook from some other game I can’t think of leave me alone. There’s only one race track which is saaaaad, but the developer promises to put high scores submitted to him into the game if you submit them. I got to the end in 20.99 seconds, which at the time of writing was second place on the leaderboard. But I’m not going to submit a screenshot and take my prize. I don’t think leveraging my skills as a hookshot-powered car raceman is fair on all the other players.

Ground Floor Z by Ink

Zombie apocalypse bell-boyism. Get the innocent civilians to the safety of the ground floor as a trusty elevator operator with a shotgun. Shoot the zombos and be careful not to unload into an unsuspecting civvie. When you feel it’s time, go to the ground floor and let your peeps out, then go back up the floors for more rescuing. As you go the horde gets more aggressive and populous, the lights start to fail, and the people come out thick and fast. Don’t let too many die or else you are not a good elevator man. Four keys and one goal – simple, clear and clean. Okay, maybe not clean.

The Chat by Mudita Heart

Is punching Nazis wrong? OH NO I ASKED IT I ASKED THE BAD INTERNET QUESTION. But so does this 5-minute Twine convo between you, a concerned parent, and your confused and worried pre-teen child. While the response to the original fracas has been a mud-slathered spectacle that has dirtied everyone’s echo chambers, the game itself is a short and straightforward tree of branching thoughts and half-thoughts. It doesn’t really offer any deep analysis or provide any answers to this most 2017 of riddles (for that, I’d recommend Tauriq Moosa’s words – “It’s possible to celebrate a Nazi feeling discomfort while disagreeing with the idea that punching is good.”) Instead, this puts you in a position where you can’t explain a contradiction of modern-day democracy with any satisfaction to your child. You can play this game. But if I see you talking about it in the comments, I’m coming down there to punch you.

Leadersheep by Vleugels, Heijkens, Lousberg, Brassé, Frijns, Di Totto

Anti-dictatorial tower defence, no punching necessary. Your mindless sheeple have fallen for a ruthless authoritarian. Whoops. But a resitance movement, the “shepherds” is setting up headuarters’ around the city that broadcast the cold, hard TRUTH, converting once firm party supporters into rebels. The more rebels you convert, the more defensive broadcast stations you can build. Each of these pulses out a circle at different frequencies and with different areas and strengths. Combine them in the most efficient manner to stop any more sheeple heading straight into the bad man’s HQ. It’s a ten wave, one-level affair made for a game jam, but worth a punt if you like the genre.

luminous corridor 2 by Loren Schmidt and Katie Rose Pipkin

Visually garbled, crystal grabbing twin stick shooter. You are PSI GUY and waves of monsters will come to kill you whether you like it or not, so you may as well nab some of these crystals lying around. The strangeness here is all in the graphical throwbacks, goopy blurred pixels and neon, trailing square fields. Die and you might not even notice amid all the visual noise. “Score,” it says, disappointed, “15.”

Instant Game Reviews by Nathalie Lawhead

The threat of automation looms heavily over RPS.

Want more free games? Check out the Best of Free Loaders collection or check our list of the 50 best free games on PC. Got a free game yourself? Give it to @Brendy_C or… or I guess don’t?

8 Comments

  1. aerozol says:

    Note: Instant Game Reviews is super loud as soon as you click the link.
    Kind of awkward if you just got home from a gig and need to sober up with some quick and, notably, QUIET RPS reading (NZ timezone here) early in the morning.

    A quick review of it: INSTRUMENTAL AND IDIOSYNCRATIC AS SEEMINGLY SIMPLISTIC-ISMS, IT DOES THIS WHILE AUDIOSYNCRATIC, IT BECOMES APPARENT THAT IT HAS SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCES THAT IS CYNICAL ABOUT WHAT GAMES CAN ACHIEVE.
    So obviously 7/10.

  2. Haplo says:

    *Talks about The Chat, safe behind a small, fighty kitten*

  3. Syrion says:

    Note that Sang-Froid: Tales of Werewolves, the quirky cool canadian “Orcs Must Die”-with-werewolves-but-not-really which Alec liked quite a bit in his WOT, is now free forever on Steam!

    I hope it’s not a bad sign for developers Artifice Studios, they are really good to have around, not afraid to try out something original.

    • April March says:

      I was going to say that, while the game didn’t seem up my alley, I could see myself trying it for the price of free. But, to be honest, there’s still a price to be paid in time that I probably won’t be willing to pay. Still, keeping it in my Steam library is a good way to remind me that once I wished to play it, and to anchor my soul to this realm after my death so the ritual can be performed.

  4. anon459 says:

    I snagged second place in Hook it Drift it Race it, based on the scores on Twitter. Dunno if I have the skills to to get first.

  5. Tachanka says:

    I think we can all agree, the best nazi punch video is the Blue Monday by New Order version.

  6. Premium User Badge

    phuzz says:

    If you’re having trouble with LeaderSheep (I was struggling to convert even one person), turn the resolution right down. The speed of the towers is linked to the window size.

    • mandrill says:

      I wonder if that’s deliberate, in that if you focus your propaganda widely over lots of people, it takes longer to convert people. But if focused intensely on a small area or number of people it goes quicker…