Steam Charts: All About The Johnsons

our EIC Graham performs his noble duty

By the power of Grayskull, it’s only the weekly Steam charts! These are the games which sold best on Steam last week.

It’s all gone a bit 2015-2016 in here again, I’m afraid, but fortunately cavalry of a sort arrives in the pendulous form of some big ol’ swingin’ dicks.

10. Grand Theft Auto V

10! Dare I dream? Could next week bring… no, I must not even think of it. That way madness lies. Let us instead presume that this is here for an eternity, as that way any change will be a rapturous surprise.

9. Ark: Survival Evolved Scorched Earth Expansion Pack

Dot Cotton announced for Ark! Ark now features a dinosaur that can transform into a toothbrush! New Ark base recreates Toadfish’s house! Latest Ark dino has the face of Colin Baker!

8. H1Z1: King of the Kill

7. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

My favourite Counter-Strike thing that ever happened was when I slipped a gag into a patch-notes post saying ‘new team added: Counter-Counter-Terrorists” and a load of players took it seriously. E.g. here.

6. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt – Game of the Year Edition

Sale sale sale. Here’s a Witcher 3 fan film for you to watch:

5. Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Siege

As prophesied, the free weekend/50% discount did the business for Ubisoft once again. That’s not all that’s new with R6S, though. I imagine I will be laughing at Operation Velvet Shell for many years to come. At least until Battlefield Two adds a map called ‘Operation Wizard’s Sleeve.’

4. RESIDENT EVIL 7 biohazard / BIOHAZARD 7 resident evil

I’ve completed it now! If you don’t mind a very broad and detail-free spoiler, there is a point late-ish in the game where it decides to be a lot more like a Resident Evil game, which I guess it needed to do, but I dug it a whole lot less than I did the amazing claustrophobic murder house that constitutes the main thrust of the game. I still had a grand old time in this brilliantly disgusting game, though. Anyway, Adam and I are going to do a full-spoilers chat-o-think right after I finish this post, so more on all that soon.

3. For Honor

Still here on pre-release/closed-beta interest only, which I imagine bodes well for the release on Valentine’s Day. I’d figured this might be a bit of an outside bet for Ubisoft, as swords don’t seem to hold quite the same mass appeal that guns do when it comes to multiplayer games, but perhaps this is the first game to truly make good on Thrones mania.

2. Ark: Survival Evolved

Oh come on, I already did this once already.

P.S. my three-year-old daughter’s favourite dinosaur is the Plesiosaurus. Strong choice, IMHO.

1. Conan Exiles

BIG FAT FLOPPY DONGS! Or teeny tiny cashew nuts! Or, y’know, perfectly average penii. It’s your choice entirely in the wide, wild world of naked barbarianism! I’m not especially inclined to play this myself, but I can’t object to a world in which a game most renowned for its unusually detailed trouser-snake physics makes it to number one. Also, there is lag, which is a shame.

FYI, exiting from the charts this week are:

Tales of Beseria
Planet Coaster

I reckon we’ll see Astroneer back at some point. Maaybeeee Planet Coaster too? Bet there’ll be some whacking great DLC for that before long.


  1. FailX says:

    Hi RPS,

    I’ve endured this for a while already so I think I probably should ask: why is it that sometimes, at random, when I click one of your links (internal or external), it gives me a rubbish URL where slashes aren’t correctly formatted and I have to delete all sorts of tags in order to actually get to the linked page?
    Here’s today’s example: http: //rockpapershotgun.digidip. net/visit? .com%2F

    Of course it did not appear how I see it in my address bar so I had to add spaces…

    Apologies if it has been answered many times already, between this and issues logging in, this website is technically quite frustrating…

    • PoulWrist says:

      Just one of many possible issues you run into by running wordpress.

    • Premium User Badge

      Graham Smith says:

      Hey! That definitely shouldn’t be happening. Does it happen every time you click the link (after refresh, hard refresh, etc.) and what browser are you using? I assuming you’re clicking on the “Eg. here” link in this instance but that works fine for me so hard to trace the error.

      • FailX says:

        Hi Graham,

        It happens mostly on links to external page. I tried all the links of this article and only the “Eg. here” link does not work for me.
        I’m using Firefox’s private browsing. I tried all refreshes, no success.
        The weird thing is that external links have worked in the past but I really cannot see the pattern. I initially thought it was because I opened the articles through Feedly, but I tried to access the site directly and I still have the same issue.

    • Bull0 says:

      That’s a referral link, it should automatically forward you but for one reason or another is not – could be your browser. The funky formatting of slashes as %3a is just URL encoding so the link can work properly.

      • FailX says:

        Yeah, I figured that out (although %3A is for the colon, %2A for the slash) :P
        Any idea how my browser could be screwing it? I only have one add-on and that’s Ghostery, which I deactivated on this page to try but no luck.
        I know I could use another browser but I don’t have problems like that with the other websites I check regularly…

        • Danarchist says:

          I have the same issue when I have noscript installed. I would imagine some corporate antivirus could also be blocking redirect attempts. With all the phishing and site poisoning happening the last couple years some companies are taking extreme measures.

          • FailX says:

            Actually, what fixed it for me was to install Noscript, so thanks for mentioning it!

    • Colthor says:

      As far as I can tell – and I’m no JS expert, I don’t fully understand what it’s up to – there’s a script on that runs replacing normal links with referral links going via whoever digidip are, and then for whatever reason the redirect isn’t working in your browser.

      It looks like disabling’s javascript privileges prevents the link-mangling.

    • krombob says:

      That link appears to have spaces in it, could that be the reason it’s not working? For example, after the http: there’s a space, and also after digipip.

  2. Wowbagger says:

    Not the Mamma!

  3. satan says:

    I don’t know how much more I’ll be playing exiles in early access (really, really grindy, but it’s designed to be played long-term, I can see that), however I don’t for a second regret buying it. With classes, attributes, feats/skills, religions, towns, slaves, dungeons, etc (in a game that starts out like Rust), that is still only in very early days… This game could really go places.

    • PoulWrist says:

      As someone who has never played a survival-building game before, I’ve had a lot of fun with it. I hope Funcom’s usual propensity to be a little weird and adventurous in their design will carry on in this title.

      Mind, I’m playing on a private password protected server with less than 10 players. We’re more interested in good performance than the exploity way the game could be played on open servers where the server sits at 1-4 FPS compared to the 60+ ours runs at.

  4. Bull0 says:

    Astroneer will pop back in when it has a decent update, I think. General impression is lots of charm and breadth, not yet enough depth, but for an early access title that’s understandable

  5. Little_Crow says:

    Does releasing am expansion/DLC for an unfinished/early access game seem odd to anyone else?

    Is there some caveat emptor rule that applies to early access and not full releases? because it smells a bit off to me

    • PoulWrist says:

      Sure it seems weird, but so does charging money for non-finished games…

    • Little_Crow says:

      I’d give it different levels of weird.

      Early access allows small devs to make some cash and hopefully be able to spend more time getting to a 1.0 release – with EA serving as a warning that the game may see no further development at all.
      I think this is made clear by steam, and will hopefully mean more indie developers able to bring us great new stuff.

      Releasing additional paid for content when the base game isn’t ‘done’ feels different to me – but I see no way the situation will change.
      Valve are obviously making plenty of money from the expansion as it’s in the top 10.

      The only thing that comes close was ‘War Z’ being pulled from steam after a customer uproar but Ark isn’t anywhere near bad enough for that so I’ll just sit here being a grumpy old man and baffled by what’s acceptable

      • Archonsod says:

        I suspect the problem is that you have this idea of what Early Access should be which doesn’t match what Early Access actually is …

  6. 3man says:

    “…my three-year-old daughter’s favourite dinosaur is the Plesiosaurus”

    Sorry to go all pedant on you, but this isn’t a dinosaur. None of the aquatic or flying reptiles were, but they all did have common ancestors amongst the archosaurs back in the Permian period or thereabouts.

    More of a dino cousin in that case.

    You should also send off to those Ark chappies and let them know as well.

    • Someoldguy says:

      I expect those kinds of scientific distinctions are beyond a three year old. If it’s in the kids big book of dinosaurs it gets referred to as a dinosaur, and be damned! My kid is a stereotypical boy and has settled on the T.Rex, with Stegosaurus a close runner up.

      • 3man says:

        I too have dino obsessed children. How else would I know something utterly pointless like this? ;-)

        When they get older they tend to like to emphasise when they know more than you.

      • PanFaceSpoonFeet says:

        T-rex is not a dinosaur. It’s an aubergine.

  7. Snowskeeper says:

    Nobody believed you about the CCT thi–wait, is that the joke?

  8. Samudaya says:

    Will the toothbrush recite the Bible? I would actually play a game with Dot Cotton or June Brown’s voice as opposed to any of these so called top ten chart games.

  9. benzoate says:

    Oh no, I guess I better go and grab GTA5 now, gotta keep it in the top 10.

  10. Alberto says:

    Now next time someone praises modders for keeping games alive and extend sales for years, let’s all think if it’s something we want.

    (I do, indeed, but too easy a joke not to try it)

  11. funkstar says:

    Can we have a series about Alec playing Astroneer? We could call it… Astromeer!

  12. brucethemoose says:

    Do ya’ll even watch King of the Hill in the UK?

    As someone who lives in central Texas, I can tell you it’s 100% accurate.

    • Chorltonwheelie says:

      Hell Yeah!
      Started the national Butane backlash. Terrible scenes.

  13. .backslash says:

    I just noticed that “Resident evil: BIOHAZARD/ BIOHAZARD: Resident evil” fits quite well to the beat of the Beastie Boys’ Intergalactic.

    Also: Now with them being Tørnquist-less, I have no real need to care about Funcom anymore, but I still like seeing them do well, just for sentimentality’s sake.