Senran Kagura Estival Versus brings booby brawls to PC

“I do want to post about Xseed’s ‘busty brawler’ but only if I can find the unpleasant CGI megabreasts someone did a few years back,” I muttered in the RPS treehouse today. “They were giant. Individual breasts, just loose skinblobs. They had some terrifying physics simulation going on. Anyone remember those?”

“I don’t,” our Adam pipes up, “but I am thinking that if you do find this, you should send it to Sos Sosowski to ensure Mosh Pit Simulator doesn’t miss out on monster boobs.”

“They had an awful leathery texture,” I say, back on the hunt. “I watched Society last night so my memories might be somewhat warped by this but I’m sure someone did it.”

Ah, stuff it! Hey, so “buxom beat-’em-up” (not my words) Senran Kagura Estival Versus [official site] is coming to PC.

Senran Kagura Estival Versus is the seventh in the series but the first getting a Windows release [incorrect! -ed.] It sees elite ninjas warped through into another world which just so happens to be a sunny beachland, where hot babes with honking bazongas beat the heck out of each other. The dimension also alters the structure of matter, I guess, as their breast tissue becomes some manner of horrifying jelly.

That’s why I was asking about the giant monsterboobs. Do you remember them? They impressed as technology and horrified as, y’know, leathery disembodied breasts rolling around. You must have seen them. I couldn’t have imagined this.

Oh, and Senran Kagura Estival Versus is tied together with visual novel sections. Xseed promise a story “that’s equal parts sexy and shocking, serious and scandalous, busty and bouncy.”

I want to say that some of the breasts had mouths? Maybe huge, yawning mouths full of doglike teeth? With impressively well-rendered saliva strands?

Senran Kagura Estival Versus will launch on Windows via Steam in March. It’ll also include DLC introducing Battle Vixens/Ikki Tousen series.

Please, you must have seen those awful breastblobs. Tell me you have.

John raises this scene from Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex:

But no, I’m remembering areola, veins, mottling, the works. Maybe they were GIFs? Backdrop of a black void? Please!

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32 Comments

  1. cardboardcity says:

    That’s solid. Once again Japanese pop culture does not intersect with any conceivable reality. Or in this case maybe it’s just overtly Freudian.

    • Pich says:

      I’m pretty sure this is a very niche game in Japan too.

    • Ghostwise says:

      It’s probably better if it’s a niche corner of pop culture that doesn’t intersect with reality rather than, I dunno, the President.

    • kraftcheese says:

      Yeah I think we get a very skewed version of Japanese media by mostly seeing the weird stuff being exported; anime as a whole is quite niche from what I understand.

      • bill says:

        It’s niche and not niche.

        I mean, there are quite a lot of Japanese people who will look at you like you’re a weird pervert if you say you like anime. But on the other hand you seem to get anime fans from all walks of life, genders and age groups.

        While anime isn’t probably quite as huge as people overseas imagine, it’s still pretty big. Pretty much all Japanese pop culture (other than some decent non-anime movies) is derived from manga. Hence anime is a slightly exaggerated version of how dodgy sexist and infantalizing Japanese culture can be.

  2. Premium User Badge

    Nauallis says:

    This is the article that today’s readers need, but not the one that they deserve.

  3. Pich says:

  4. onodera says:

    Didn’t DDRJake have to play one of these games a few weeks back? The ninja ladies cooked so hard in it they cooked the clothes off each other.

    The assortment of accessories in it must’ve catered to every fetish on Earth, though. I doubt there are many other games that people who like nuns wearing diapers and cat bells can fully enjoy.

  5. lhzr says:

    Well, I don’t know about those xseed gifs, but since you mentioned Society, let me recommend The Birthday, with Corey Feldman (<3). Should be good fun for any lover of strange cult..erm, I mean fine societies!

  6. Baines says:

    Estival Versus is not the first Senran Kagura game to see a PC release. Shinovi Versus was released on Steam last summer (Estival is the sequel to Shinovi), and the spin-off rhythm game Bon-Appetit was released last November.

  7. NailBombed says:

    Oh, Anime. Never change.

  8. Benderesco says:

    Just a correction: this is not the first SK game to get a Windows release. Shinovi Versus and Bon Appetit, originally released for the PS Vita, received PC ports not too long ago.

  9. Sin Vega says:

    Currently hugging my chest in faint horror at the thought of what it must feel like to have your massive, possibly sentient chebs blob around gelatinously at all times.

    But that aside, wow those are some really swish production values. It looks like it could be a fun game? How novel.

  10. Seafoam says:

    Looks like this game aims to be quite tit-illating. Eeeehhhh???

    But why doesn’t the old lady in the trailer have the insane wiggles?

    Looks like she has no physics at all! Goddammit japan if you’re gonna go with the whole boobs thing stick to it!
    Usually with games like these the only thing that could make them even slightly respectable is if they do things in equal fashion. Like in Saints Row, if you’re gonna have skimpy outfits and sex-appeal sliders then make sure guys get those too. Fat or skinny, old or young, jiggle physics should cater to all! Not just your generic 15 year old looking anime girls. *sigh*

    • Pich says:

      don’t worry, she has a special move where she turn young and wobbly.

    • April March says:

      Yeah, I mean, boobs moving like water balloons is already pretty far removed from reality, but when you show an old lady being the only one with rigid breasts you start entering weird fiction territory.

      • Seafoam says:

        No.
        It’s not about that, it’s about that if youre gonna have that as a gimmick have it be equal to all. That’s the only virtue these things can have.
        Otherwise it’s just unapologetic.

  11. R. Totale says:

    I’m sure there’s a market out there somewhere for leathery breasts with mouths.

  12. Retrofrank says:

    Dear japanese game-developers.I think it´s time for you, to go outside for field studies, to see that real breasts don´t behave like jelly on a planet with constantly changing gravity.

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    Harlander says:

    Whenever I see “estival” in this title, it makes me think of “estrus” + “festival”.

    Given the content I’m never quite certain that wasn’t what they were going for.

  14. Sulpher says:

    Pathetic garbage.

  15. racccoon says:

    lol.. its a bounce fest! This game looks…size AWESOME :)

  16. geldonyetich says:

    Have you ever played Dynasty Warriors and thought to yourself, “Well, this game is pretty tired after so many sequels, but I bet it would be enjoyable if somebody just replaced the entire cast of characters with anime girls and out-of-control breast physics?”

    Yeah, me neither.

    • stringerdell says:

      I always wanted them to add physics to Dynasty Warriors. This wasnt what I had in mind though…

  17. Haplo says:

    “I want to say that some of the breasts had mouths? Maybe huge, yawning mouths full of doglike teeth? With impressively well-rendered saliva strands?”

    Eh, it’s close.

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    Oakreef says:

    Like if they’re going to make a whole series of games about tits could they at least not make all the characters schoolchildren?

  19. aircool says:

    Merchandising!

  20. Rince says:

    Yeah, nice, but what I REALLY want is Valkyrie Drive on PC.
    Instead of lesbian subtext like in the Senran Kagura series they went to blatantly lesbianism. Which is a big win in my book.

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    Herring says:

    “It’s all about fitting in”

    I watched Society once 25-ish years ago as a student. Myself and a couple of house-mates rented it from the local video shop with absolutely no idea what we were getting into.

    It’s left a mark to this day :D

    Well worth a watch. From memory it’s probably more relevant today…

    • aircool says:

      Yeah, it’s a great film. Difficult to get people to watch it though without giving too much away.

      Watch alongside Altered States and Jacobs Ladder for an evening of brain whisking.

  22. Darth Gangrel says:

    Undertale has got nothing on Underboob.