Have You Played… Call Of Duty: Advanced Warfare?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day of the year, perhaps for all time.

You are Kevin Spacey’s surrogate son. Look at those eyes, focused with paternalistic concern. He is placing a hand warmly upon your robot arm, the robot arm he gave you along with robot legs and probably robot other things. It’s a shame, really. It’s a shame you’ll have to kill him later.

This is Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare.

Advanced Warfare carried the yearly military shooter a hop and a skip into the near-future, and in the process kitted out your soldier with a new set of toys to aid hopping and skipping (and shooting). There’s a double-jump, there’s magnetic hands for scaling walls, there are definitely some other things I’m forgetting, because it’s all very forgettable.

The story decides which abilities you’re going to have in any given mission, and then only lets you use those abilities in prescribed situations. Those magnetic hands, for example, can only be used on one or two walls per level, and in each instance they simply let you scale a wall and reach the other side. It’s not exciting. There’s no space to be creative with them. The level designers could have just put a door in that wall. And most of your other abilities work the same way.

The rest of the campaign is the same old Call of Duty nonsense – enemies at home and abroad, military industrial complex run amok, megalomaniac with a famous face chews scenery – but it’s twice as frustrating to have a robot carrot dangled in front of your face but always be kept beyond reach. As I said in my review, Advanced Warfare is Call of Duty doing a poor impression of Crysis.

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11 Comments

  1. MrUnimport says:

    Kevin Spacey was unironically the best thing about this game.

    • Darth Gangrel says:

      A lot of what goes on in CoD games is ugly, but Spacey lent it some American Beauty.

  2. Arglebargle says:

    Of course not! Gave up on the series way back when they were still shooting stone bullets at reptilian Nazis.

  3. Freud says:

    I’ve played Call of Duty 2 and Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. Feels like I pretty much covered most of what the series have to offer, judging by the things I read.

  4. Danda says:

    I liked this one much more than most other CODs, apart from MW 1 & 2. It was the first one that felt like a leap forward, in gameplay (with all the gizmos), graphics (those faces!) and story (probably because of Spacey’s involvement, the character had a somewhat believable motivation).

  5. Spuzzell says:

    I genuinely don’t know if I have.

    That’s not a ringing endorsement of the series.

  6. Korakys says:

    The game is still full price on steam by the way! US$60

  7. Rindan says:

    I see a lot of people shit talking this game. I think that is wrong. This game is a venerable elder these days, and you damn kids should shows some respect. Press X.

  8. MrFlakeOne says:

    You forgot about Frogger minigame and hilarious stealth missions.

  9. poliovaccine says:

    I’ve seen people gripe about this once or twice before, and I hate to join a gripey chorus but I agree with em: these HYP bits seem to be getting either shorter, or just less substantial at the same length, or something. They certainly feel shorter.

    I dont think we need a long, ceremonious reflection on CoD: AW or however it’s abbreviated, but I do wish we at least got a sense of why this particular game was even picked out for examination. Cant help but feel a little like a reach into the dustbin, an “Ohhh hey, remember this game? Yeah, this game sucked,” a toss over the shoulder and the article lands fully formed, voila. I know you’re hardly writing the Great uhhh British Novel here but this did used to be my favorite little recurrent section. But that’s because it felt more like a reminiscence between friends, not just a recap of however the thing reviewed back when.

    Being perfectly fair though, there really isnt much to say about this game at all. I will give you that. All the more reason I wonder, though, why it was picked this time.