The best moment in cinematic history is, of course, any time a character says the title of the movie they’re in. This is the main reason I am excited for a Tomb Raider movie. At some point, surely someone will say in reverent tones “You’re… the Tomb Raider”.
Myself, I’m hoping Lara will rebuff accusations of grave robbery with “Please, my father was the Grave Robber. Call me the Tomb Raider.”
Oh, right, yes, the ‘news’: Warner Bros. have shared the first snaps of their movie based loosely on the gritty 2013 reboot, along with a blurb hinting at a “tomb raider” shoutout.
Warner Bros say:
“Lara Croft is the fiercely independent daughter of an eccentric adventurer who vanished when she was scarcely a teen. Now a young woman of 21 without any real focus or purpose, Lara navigates the chaotic streets of trendy East London as a bike courier, barely making the rent, and takes college courses, rarely making it to class. Determined to forge her own path, she refuses to take the reins of her father’s global empire just as staunchly as she rejects the idea that he’s truly gone. Advised to face the facts and move forward after seven years without him, even Lara can’t understand what drives her to finally solve the puzzle of his mysterious death.
“Going explicitly against his final wishes, she leaves everything she knows behind in search of her dad’s last-known destination: a fabled tomb on a mythical island that might be somewhere off the coast of Japan. But her mission will not be an easy one; just reaching the island will be extremely treacherous. Suddenly, the stakes couldn’t be higher for Lara, who—against the odds and armed with only her sharp mind, blind faith and inherently stubborn spirit—must learn to push herself beyond her limits as she journeys into the unknown. If she survives this perilous adventure, it could be the making of her, earning her the name tomb raider.”
Amazing scenes. They even italicise that last “tomb raider.” It’s the name of the movie, you guys!
Our John is pinning his hopes on “Mistreater of the dead is my mother’s name!”
Tomb Raider the movie is due on March 16th, 2018. It stars Alicia Vikander from Ex Machina and The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (a reboot far more fun than expected!) as Lara and is directed by Roar Uthaug, who himself sounds like a Tomb Raider boss. Dominic West out Spice World, Walton Goggins from The Shield, and Daniel Wu of Into the Badlands co-star.
Honestly, I do like Lara Croft as a goofy cigar-chomping B movie hero but sure, let’s give this a go too. And if you want someone Lara Croft-ish and you, like me, enjoy watching every single horror film on Netflix, you might fancy a peek at As Above, So Below. It’s an action-archaeologist’s spooky search for treasure in the Paris catacombs, and at times does feel quite Tomb Raider-y. I found it a pleasant enough evening.
John adds, after several minutes of being underappreciated, “(MISTREATER OF THE DEAD IS MY MOTHER’S NAME WAS A REALLY CLEVER JOKE).”