Because video games can’t ever state good news plainly, Sega are pulling a prank which seems like it’s meant to resemble a teaser campaign for a PC release of Platinum’s underappreciated 2010 shooter Vanquish. The recent (and overdue) PC release of Bayonetta today received a wee update adding only a picture of Vanquish’s protagonist to an ‘extras’ folder. That’s it. A PC release has seemed likely — and been hinted at — for a while but Sega just keep on yanking our pigtails and rocketkicking the back of our chair. Give over.
Let’s look at the Vanquish teasing first and… I’ve already told you the lot. A teensy update added this picture to the ‘extras’ folder which contains a dozen avatars of Bayonetta characters for your cyberspace representation purposes:
That’s Sam Gideon, the star of Vanquish. He’s some bloke in power armour who beats up Russians and robots in a city-sized space station. If you mistake Vanquish for the squillion noughties/tensies third-person shooters it resembles, Sam there will spend most the game cowering behind waist-high cover. Alternatively, you can use his jet-powered supersuit to powerslide around arenas like a high-tech Pete Townshend, kickflipping robots and popping tin heads in slowmo. That’s the good stuff.
Vanquish is a good companion game to Bayonetta – Platinum’s takes on two of the genres that dominated the noughties.
Sega haven’t said Vanquish is coming to PC, of course. They’re too busy with their monkeyshines. It could just be a cheeky prank.
Platinum recently told the folks at cheery RPS fanzine PC Gamer that “if it were up to us, we’d port all of our games to PC, but it all depends on the publishers.” Given that Sega published Vanquish too and that Bayonetta hit high on the Steam charts after Sega put it on PC, I’d guess they’re open to it.
If you’re feeling extra-excitable, you might be interested to note that Platinum today put out a string of YouTube videos with clips of Bayonetta repeating phrases three times. The more conspiratorial among you might leap to a conclusion of “Bayonetta 3 confirmed!!!!!”. As much as I’d like a third Bayonetta, I do almost prefer the official story that Platinum are using phrases like “The kind of witches you don’t fuck with” and “Do you naughty little angels deserve a good spanking?” for an English lesson.