THE BEEF THAT I HAVE WITH STREET FIGHTER V

SFV

Hello. Usually I write perky upbeat stories about plants and walks but today I have BEEF. It is BEEF with Capcom about a missed opportunity in Street Fighter V [official site]! SO much BEEF I could open a butcher shop or a steak restaurant. It is BEEF so important it warranted a trip to Photoshop to rectify the situation AND I had to remember how to use the color layer mode.

First: context.

SO. Today sees the arrival of the Thailand stage in Street Fighter V. Fine. But Capcom are all like “And look! Some of these famous fight people are getting new outfits! For Jobs! And School clichés!”

And I’m like, okay, sure. So there’s one guy who looks really cross about being a firefighter, probably because he has to showcase his million-pack bod and thus has no actual protection from fires on much of his upper body. I get that. It’s a reasonable workplace gripe. It will help power his fighting. Against The Man. For adequate equipment and working conditions.

SFV

Then there’s a cheerleader lady who seems to be wrist-deep in two giant Koosh balls. Good for her. And them. They all seem happy.

SFV

Chun-Li is doing Chun-Li things.

SFV

SFV

And there’s a cool goth lady:

SFV

Then we get to Ryu. “Ryu may be back in school, but he’s still ready to scrap in his Bancho-style costume!”

Mate. If you know anything about school and lads lads lads (I assume Ryu is a bit LADS LADS LADS) on the playground you know that you instantly get cooler and better at fighting if you remove your regulation school uniform tie from the neck position and reattach as a Rambo-style bandana.

This is, like, playground fighting 101! Basic stuff, people!

Look at him here:

SFV

And then look at this ultra-better version I did in Photoshop in like three minutes (plus color layer remembering time):

SFV

How did this oversight happen? HOW? I demand a change.org petition IMMEDIATELY.

Blah blah something something relevant info I guess IF I MUST INCLUDE IT: The costumes are $3.99 / ¥400 / €3.99 each, the stage is $3.99 / ¥400 / €3.99 or 70,000 Fight Money and “Season 2 Character Pass is available now for $29.99 / €29.99 / £24.99, which brings Akuma and Kolin to your roster – plus four more fighters to be revealed later this year. One of these new characters will be revealed soon, along with further details on the second Capcom Fighters Network / Season 2 Balance Updates.”

39 Comments

  1. Shiloh says:

    “Color”???

    Anyway, why are the fighting ladies illustrated above wearing such revealing skirts and tights? I mean, I’ve been to Hartlepool so I know it happens, but if they’re heading into a pagga shouldn’t they be wearing something a bit more sensible like, oh I dunno, baggy trousers or overalls or something?

    • funkstar says:

      It’s photoshop so unfortunately ‘color’ is correct :(

    • Dewal says:

      I’m often one to complain about female nudity when it’s not necessary, but here you’re a bit unfair.
      Sure, 2 of the 4 costumes are a bit revealing, but it’s coherent with the themes each time (a cheerleader and a goth in a squirt, not really surprising). Both cloth are often seen in public and are displayed the way they normally look.
      What you should be shocked about, if you were fair, is actually the way the firefighter is depicted which, in this case, is an oversexualisation of the uniform.

      All in all it’s Street Fighter, where most characters are super-sized an half naked. Why do you only focus on two girls casually wearing (normal) squirts ?

      • Shiloh says:

        Why do you only focus on two girls casually wearing (normal) squirts ?

        Relax, it’s just a bugbear of mine, particularly with reference to Japanese games. Every time I see images of female fantasy games characters wearing teeny tiny skirts, dressed as some weird porn version of schoolgirls, or flashing their knickers every time they execute a high kick, I get annoyed. Odd thing is, I’m a 50 year old bloke, my teenage daughters probably wouldn’t care less.

        Anyway, I wanted to spread the annoyance around a bit. This is still the internet, am I right?

    • ColonelFlanders says:

      Colour is derived from the Latin word coloris, which lent itself to the original spelling of the word. If anything, the Americans have continued spelling it correctly while we have needlessly evolved a ‘u’ that does fuck all into it.

      • alh_p says:

        Dude, America hasn’t continued anything since the Romans. Maybe some Europeans can be said to have but when American spelling is derived from English spelling, the best you could do is say they have adopted a closer latin spelling. I sort of doubt that’s what was on their minds when they dropped superfluous letters from English/French/German/Norse words that litter English with its idiosyncrasies.

        • Sin Vega says:

          America hasn’t continued anything since the Romans.

          I dunno, they’re doing alright on the old imperialism front

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          DelrueOfDetroit says:

          As I understand it Webster played a big part in Americanized spellings by deliberately making slight changes to words in his dictionary in order to create a version of English separate from the Brits.

          • Chillicothe says:

            “Colour” isn’t the British way to spell it, it’s the French way.

        • ZippyLemon says:

          Another fun fact: some of the stupid English spellings arose because the scholars writing the dictionaries spoke Latin, and they felt that English spelling should reflect words’ Latin roots regardless of, you know, how the words are fucking pronounced.

          And now I, an Englishman abroad, have to apologise on their behalf to irate German people who go out of their way to pronounce the B in ‘debt’.

        • Hypocee says:

          I’ve read with interest that the accent of The Monarch’s English has drifted further than American Network Standard from their common ancestor at the time of the Big Row.

  2. Flappybat says:

    Just the costumes, not the dozens of ways Capcom dropped the ball with one of the most promising fighting games?

  3. Da5e says:

    Ryu is not lads, Ryu is ascetic and cool.

    Who is the goth lady? I like her.

    • Diziet Sma says:

      Looks like a costume for Juri.

      • anevilyak says:

        That costume makes her look like she’s auditioning to be a new member of The Cure.

        • CartonofMilk says:

          yes because i totally remember when The Cure had pink and purple hair, wore ripped clothes, plaid and checkered patterns, fingerless gloves, chokers, skulls and a bunch of bracelets. Classic The cure look right there as anyone who’s ever seen The Cure knows.

          don’t they?

  4. Jaeja says:

    This is exactly the kind of quality content that justifies my subscription. 10 points to Pip.

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      X_kot says:

      Her articles always brighten my day.

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      particlese says:

      But wait, there’s more: Renew today for even brighter days!

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      Don Reba says:

      Wait, it doesn’t say “supporter” under your avatar. What are you trying to pull?

  5. SanguineAngel says:

    This is the content I come to RPS for.

  6. edwardoka says:

    I get that they’re meant to be hyper-stylised but if anyone’s legs were as disproportionately large as Chun Li’s Robert Forstemann-esque pins I’m pretty sure they would struggle to walk, much less kick someone hundreds of times a second…

  7. Chentzilla says:

    Coincidentally, that’s what Tucker does in this old episode of Grange Hill I watched a couple of days ago:
    link to youtu.be

  8. Premium User Badge

    DelrueOfDetroit says:

    Eventually Chun-Li’s character will be nothing but a pair of massive thighs with a bun and two eyes peaking out the top.

    Now to contradict myself, more thick ladies in games, please!

  9. Vandelay says:

    Why Pip, you could almost call this a… grievance!

    A definite contender for the book. Chris Thursten’s “sexy” voice would almost be appropriate (almost, because it is never appropriate.)

  10. thekelvingreen says:

    Ryu is not LADS, LADS, LADS. Ryu is the kid who has won medals for the school in long distance running, and plays guitar, but isn’t in a band and never talks to anyone.

    Ken. Now Ken is LADS, LADS, LADS.

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    particlese says:

    Looks like Capcom already has an entire cake of BEEF to contend with.

  12. TrenchFoot says:

    Me wishing these games didn’t exist at all because of the fuel they give to the oh-so-serious anti-gaming scolds. But to each his/her own. (15 and under)

  13. Person of Interest says:

    I can’t see myself ever installing SFV, or really any Capcom game for a while, after the debacle where they botched an attempt to sneak some home-grown DRM in a patch and instead exposed a massive security vulnerability for all their customers.

  14. 9of9 says:

    Not sure why this hasn’t been remarked upon yet, but I assume the main reason for Ryu not wrapping his tie around his forehead is that Japanese boys’ uniforms do not come with ties.

    • Chentzilla says:

      Maybe he’s beaten an English schoolboy and got his tie?