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11

PlantSims: A story of tragedy and romance

In pursuit of greenery

The Sims Plant Challenge

Checking in on The Sims 4 [official site] I realised it’s having a PlantSim challenge at the moment! PlantSim purists who remember the photosynthesising supernaturalness from previous games seem to be having mixed reactions (too casual/just right/hate it/it’s fine/love it/what did you expect from a free update/etc etc) but for me who missed all that I decided to hop in and see about collecting these magic seeds from my green-skinned residents. It… spiralled somewhat and there was at least one disaster. Read on (by clicking the arrow buttons or using the left and right cursor keys) for the whole sorry story…

The Sims Plant Challenge

Our story starts just after I phone someone called Jasmine to get myself a treestump. I am tasked with planting six different seeds, obtained from PlantSims in different moods. How hard can it be? There’s one RIGHT THERE IN THE STREET!

Sidenote: the guy in the orange tshirt looks exactly like the best surgeon in Holby City right now – Matteo Rossini. I would rather be chatting to him to see if he tells me his theories about mermaids and cards again. Instead I must talk to J Huntington III. He kind of looks like a preppy zombie.

The Sims Plant Challenge

Time to turn on the PipCharm! In the middle of the road because why not.

The Sims Plant Challenge

It’s working! I obtain my first bean. It is a confident bean for a confident lady. Goodbye forever, J Huntington III.

The Sims Plant Challenge

I’m on a roll and immediately turn Pip’s attention to a woman in pink who… NO. I SAID “BEAN”. B-E-A-N. This is a disaster.

The Sims Plant Challenge

Considering she is going to be interacting with at least six beans I decide I should get Pip to be a chef. That will up her bean expertise and will probably be Very Useful.

The Sims Plant Challenge

She absent-mindedly plants the treestump and the confident bean out in the yard. It’s in full view of the neighbours so she will be galvanised into better bean-hunting by not wanting to look like a failure. With that in mind let’s head into town and look for likely bean-marks.

The Sims Plant Challenge

PIP WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU HAVE HIS BEAN STOP TALKING TO HIM.

The Sims Plant Challenge

After spending the night in bed ALONE (thank goodness) it’s time for a late breakfast, chiselled from the pan, before a productive day of bean-hunting.

The Sims Plant Challenge

Pip is apparently a little too eager to go bean hunting.

The Sims Plant Challenge

Pip! PIP! GET BACK IN THE HOUSE! The man is clearly not comfy with this situation!

The Sims Plant Challenge

That said, we’re not above accepting “please leave me alone and put some trousers on” beans.

The Sims Plant Challenge

I send her to the wardrobe. Vest and pants didn’t get her arrested near home but going to the play park in knickers is probably not going to go down well.

The Sims Plant Challenge

There are no plant sims in the park so she catches frogs for a while and heads home for a heady evening of cookery shows and sleeping. Her pockets are full of frogs but that seems fine.

The Sims Plant Challenge

The next day brings a sad plant sim to the neighbourhood. She runs out to engage him in bean-related conversation.

The Sims Plant Challenge

He is too sad for chats. Perhaps she should befriend him before asking for the sad bean, then he won’t feel used as well as sad and Pip won’t look like a terrible person.

The Sims Plant Challenge

She chases him down and tries to verbally strongarm him into feeling better. Also literally because of all the hugging.

The Sims Plant Challenge

Bean time!

The Sims Plant Challenge

He is too happy to be giving sad beans to anyone. PIP YOU IDIOT!

The Sims Plant Challenge

While I decide to abandon the nice-Pip strategy and just go for making bean-based demands of total strangers, Pip earns a promotion at work. Good work, Pip! You’ll make head chef before you know it!

The Sims Plant Challenge

Oh for the love of… GET YOUR CLOTHES ON, WOMAN.

The Sims Plant Challenge

Chasing down beans has left Pip a bit hungry so she ought to enjoy a hearty breakfast before work. Her work as a professional caterer. Pip? PIP? Oh god.

The Sims Plant Challenge

RUN, PIP! GET IN THE SHOWER! ANYTHING! JUST MOVE!

The Sims Plant Challenge

The Sims Plant Challenge

The Sims Plant Challenge

The Sims Plant Challenge

The fire takes too long to burn itself out so I resurrect a save file. I use the fire as an excuse to pep up the decor – dinosaur paintings, fruit bowls, a set of cloud lights. It’s feeling a lot more like home and a lot less like an ashy ruin with a body in the corner.

The Sims Plant Challenge

It also seems to increase Pip’s productivity on the bean-gathering front! We only have the flirty bean left to collect.

The Sims Plant Challenge

The flirty bean is purple and Pip mistakes the purple “focused” aura on this sim for flirtiness. She makes some unsubtle advances.

The Sims Plant Challenge

The ensuing downturn in the conversation leads to embarrassment so excruciating she hides in the shower until the conversation is cleansed from her memory.

The Sims Plant Challenge

While I’m figuring out the flirty action plan Pip goes to work and gets a promotion to caterer. NO! I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. I immediately install a smoke alarm and a sprinkler system.

The Sims Plant Challenge

Oh god JUST GO AWAY.

The Sims Plant Challenge

Let’s just gloss over the trading of sexy chit chat for legumes and assume it was all totally above board and not literally and metaphorically seedy.

The Sims Plant Challenge

The success is marred slightly by the fact J Huntington III is apparently undeterrable. (I tried to angle the camera to block him out using the balloon lights)

The Sims Plant Challenge

Pip, just ignore him and focus on the tree stump magic bean project.

The Sims Plant Challenge

Still ignoring him. Maybe he’s leaving?

The Sims Plant Challenge

Ooh! That was dramatic! Did we kill him?

The Sims Plant Challenge

I mean, he seems to be gone and this was a pretty powerful tree explosion.

The Sims Plant Challenge

Oh for… GET IN THE TREE, PIP.

I video-ed the immediate aftermath of visiting the tree!

The Sims Plant Challenge

The plant effect lasts for a few days and in that time Pip’s needs change a bit so she needs to be well-hydrated and absorbing sunlight in order to feed. She has also taken to doing push-ups in the street. I have no idea if that’s an effort to be closer to the earth or something.

The Sims Plant Challenge

“4…5…99…100…101…”

The Sims Plant Challenge

I also added a pool to aid with the water situation and I’m trying to make the most of her uptick in gardening skills to grow some FIERCE vegetables and herbs. She is still not into clothes.

The Sims Plant Challenge

Repeat visits to the magic tree portal yield things like crystals and rocks. No “shirts” or “trousers” though.

The Sims Plant Challenge

Mostly I’m just enjoying that the plant version of Pip is basically Alice and that the garden is doing well.

The Sims Plant Challenge

Look at how bushy it is!

The Sims Plant Challenge

Pip now spends her days photosynthesising on the pavement.

The Sims Plant Challenge

And reading bedtime stories to the herb garden.

THE END.

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Philippa Warr

former Staff Writer

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