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Farming Simulator 17 DLC adds mega-big tractor Big Bud

A vehicle I’m told is “the world’s largest farm tractor” has arrived in Farming Simulator 17 [official site] as paid DLC. The Big Bud 747! Four metres high! Eight metres long! 960 horsepower! When fully fuelled and loaded, it weighs the equivalent of 61,234 one-kilogram bags of sugar. It is a big tractor. But while I’m told that the Big Bud is a big tractor, you can’t tell me that Big Bud isn’t the name of a covers band who love to rock on AC/DC, Led Zep, and Skynyrd. In fact, all the other brands and products in this DLC sound like bands. Let’s go over them once I’ve explained this DLC.

The Big Bud Pack adds the Big Bud 747 along with its smaller sibling, plus twelve oversized pieces of farm equipment from a variety of manufacturers. The DLC costs £12.99/14,99€/$14,99 on Steam, the base game has a 25% discount right now, and here’s a trailer to show how big the Big Bud is:

Now let’s get down to the important stuff. The equipment list on the Steam page is a rich resource for band names. This is probably what they’re all about:

Big Bud
Pub rock favourites in Gladbrook, Iowa. Bud Rock have played near-identical setlists every Saturday for seven years. They’re perfectly happy with that and so are their fans. Good on ’em. Big Bud have written some songs of their own but ah, they’re happier to have everyone grooving and singing along to songs already they know and love.

Bednar Swifter
Squeaky clean Norwegian pop prince tipped for the top after being spotted gassing with Max Martin.

Brent Avalanche
Synthwave covers of ’80s buddy movie themes with added screamo lyrics about breakups. Always performs live dressed as Devastatin’ Dave (The Turntable Slave).

Brochard Constructeur
Belgian stripped-back industrial revival in the vein of early Front 242, with a touch of Neu! driving grooves too.

Cultiplow Platinum
Melvins meets The B-52’s in a style these three sisters from Kirkcaldy call ‘slurrycore’.

Flexi-Coil
Dadcore shoegaze. After a decade of obscurity and droning tunes preoccupied with dad concerns like the correct way to roll and store an extension cord, re-felting the shed roof, and discovering exactly who’s responsible for leaving the bathroom tap running, Flexi-Coil found brief mainstream success with uncharacteristically upbeat single The Big Four-oh Birthday Blowout. Ever since, grizzled fans have asked pointed gatekeeping questions upon meeting anyone wearing a Flexi-Coil t-shirt.

Great Plains
Fuzz pop with a melancholy Montana twang.

Grégoire-Besson
Oh look at that, another chanteur breathing heavily up the French pop charts, great, wonderful, how exciting.

Hatzenbichler Terminator
A ‘fictional’ band whose songs only appear in goth club scenes in action movies. The band, formed of three Hollywood sound engineers, have developed a cult following who clip their songs from movies to arrange into albums. Hatzenbichler Terminator themselves recently made their first actual movie appearance in the metahorror First Jock Down.

Seed Hawk
Their dreadful acoustic cover of The Knife’s We Share Our Mothers’ Health should have seen Seed Hawk drop off the face of the Earth, after they raked in millions from TV commercials and Starbucks CD sales. Somehow, these should-be one-hit wonders are still here five albums later. An absolute shower of bastards.

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Alice O'Connor

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When not writing news, Alice may be found in the sea.

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