Farming Simulator 17 DLC adds mega-big tractor Big Bud

A vehicle I’m told is “the world’s largest farm tractor” has arrived in Farming Simulator 17 [official site] as paid DLC. The Big Bud 747! Four metres high! Eight metres long! 960 horsepower! When fully fuelled and loaded, it weighs the equivalent of 61,234 one-kilogram bags of sugar. It is a big tractor. But while I’m told that the Big Bud is a big tractor, you can’t tell me that Big Bud isn’t the name of a covers band who love to rock on AC/DC, Led Zep, and Skynyrd. In fact, all the other brands and products in this DLC sound like bands. Let’s go over them once I’ve explained this DLC.

The Big Bud Pack adds the Big Bud 747 along with its smaller sibling, plus twelve oversized pieces of farm equipment from a variety of manufacturers. The DLC costs £12.99/14,99€/$14,99 on Steam, the base game has a 25% discount right now, and here’s a trailer to show how big the Big Bud is:

Now let’s get down to the important stuff. The equipment list on the Steam page is a rich resource for band names. This is probably what they’re all about:

Big Bud
Pub rock favourites in Gladbrook, Iowa. Bud Rock have played near-identical setlists every Saturday for seven years. They’re perfectly happy with that and so are their fans. Good on ’em. Big Bud have written some songs of their own but ah, they’re happier to have everyone grooving and singing along to songs already they know and love.

Bednar Swifter
Squeaky clean Norwegian pop prince tipped for the top after being spotted gassing with Max Martin.

Brent Avalanche
Synthwave covers of ’80s buddy movie themes with added screamo lyrics about breakups. Always performs live dressed as Devastatin’ Dave (The Turntable Slave).

Brochard Constructeur
Belgian stripped-back industrial revival in the vein of early Front 242, with a touch of Neu! driving grooves too.

Cultiplow Platinum
Melvins meets The B-52’s in a style these three sisters from Kirkcaldy call ‘slurrycore’.

Flexi-Coil
Dadcore shoegaze. After a decade of obscurity and droning tunes preoccupied with dad concerns like the correct way to roll and store an extension cord, re-felting the shed roof, and discovering exactly who’s responsible for leaving the bathroom tap running, Flexi-Coil found brief mainstream success with uncharacteristically upbeat single The Big Four-oh Birthday Blowout. Ever since, grizzled fans have asked pointed gatekeeping questions upon meeting anyone wearing a Flexi-Coil t-shirt.

Great Plains
Fuzz pop with a melancholy Montana twang.

Grégoire-Besson
Oh look at that, another chanteur breathing heavily up the French pop charts, great, wonderful, how exciting.

Hatzenbichler Terminator
A ‘fictional’ band whose songs only appear in goth club scenes in action movies. The band, formed of three Hollywood sound engineers, have developed a cult following who clip their songs from movies to arrange into albums. Hatzenbichler Terminator themselves recently made their first actual movie appearance in the metahorror First Jock Down.

Seed Hawk
Their dreadful acoustic cover of The Knife’s We Share Our Mothers’ Health should have seen Seed Hawk drop off the face of the Earth, after they raked in millions from TV commercials and Starbucks CD sales. Somehow, these should-be one-hit wonders are still here five albums later. An absolute shower of bastards.

13 Comments

  1. Premium User Badge

    subdog says:

    The Prey review done disappeared!

  2. bcrowe says:

    I think I’m definitely in the mood to listen to some Brent Avalanche right now.

  3. Premium User Badge

    phuzz says:

    Big Bud you say…
    link to youtu.be

  4. Jaeja says:

    “Slurrycore” is pure genius.

    • Premium User Badge

      steves says:

      It is indeed genius.

      Slurrycore would be formed by combining grindcore and metalcore (totally different things!) with sludge, another legitimate metal sub-genre.

      It would be both slow and fast, deeply unpleasant, and strangely compelling.

    • Premium User Badge

      kfix says:

      “Melvins meets The B-52’s in a style these three sisters from Kirkcaldy call ‘slurrycore’”

      I would go see that in a heartbeat.

  5. Premium User Badge

    Nauallis says:

    Hey wait, you guys are British. Are you fully metricated? People grump here all the time that “this is a British website” when somebody makes a comment about something something American/USA. But here you are giving dimensions and specs in the metric system, and I was under the impression that the imperial system was still in common usage. Is it truly only for road signs/distance, beverage volume measurement, real estate sizing, and precious metals?

    • Premium User Badge

      steves says:

      Nowhere close to ‘fully’, we’re over all the place when it comes to that.

      Road signs & speeds are all miles, no-one thinks in Km, but inches/cm and metres/feet are all used. Except for ‘human’ measurements, all very imperial – I’m 6ft tall and weigh about 13 stone (1 stone = 14 pounds, obviously!). I could probably tell you M & Kg, but I’d have to think about it. Clothing size labels will usually have both. I cannot imagine anyone boasting about a 25cm dick.

      Beer you buy in pints (proper pints too, not the US abomination), wine and spirits and soft drinks will be ml. No one who doesn’t have grandchildren remembers what a (fluid) ounce is. Weed might still be sold as fractions of an ounce, but cocaine comes in grams.

      Any legitimate food or drink purchase is mandatory metric, an EU directive I think. Fuck knows what’ll happen to that post-Brexit.

      Precious metals…buggered if I know. ‘Troy’ ounces are a thing, or at least were.

      It is all a giant mess, but if I hear 4M high tractor, that’s obviously a huge tractor. Someone with access to 961 horses and a lot of rope needs to do the necessary testing re. power measurement…

      • Premium User Badge

        phuzz says:

        Some road signs on motorways will go from saying “2 miles to X, 1 Mile to X” to saying “200m to junction for X” as you get close.
        So basically we use both, but mainly metric if there’s any maths involved (yeah, that’s right, we have maths plural, that’s at least 1 more math than the US)

    • DodgyG33za says:

      Further to what Steves said, the ‘British’ as you call them love making things more complex than they need to be, mostly for historical reasons. So it is miles driven per litre of fuel, public schools are in fact private and what you generically refer to as “Britain” is actually three countries and one bit of a country that was stolen and not given back with the rest of it, and goes by a variety of names that may be a subset of the whole (like Britain which is short for Great Britain and doesn’t include the stolen Irish bit). It is all designed to give the locals a sense of superiority when people are baffled.

    • KastaRules says:

      For you Imperial System-lovers this might be an interesting watch:

      How about that.

  6. Hydrogene says:

    A 61 tonnes tractor? Now that’s heavy! I want one.

  7. Premium User Badge

    Grizzly says:

    But is it actually any good at tracking tors?