Steam Charts: We liked to party

For thirty-eight long years, you people have looked to me to inform you which ten games sold best on Steam over the past week. That time is now at an end.

But evil never dies.

10. Fallout 4 Season Pass

Yet another return to these charts from Bethesda’s open-world shooter (with some RPG frippery) was inevitable after it spent a weekend being free to all comers. “Y’all got any more of that armour-crafting?” clearly proved a strong motivator to pick up a discounted permanent copy of the game before prices snapped back to normality. Seems that it’s also coaxed a few johnny-come-latelies into finally picking Fallout 4’s DLC bundle. For your ease and enjoyment, here are our reviews of most of the contents:

Far Harbor

Wasteland Workshop

Automatron

The season pass also contains Contraptions Workshop, Vault-Tec Workshop, and Nuka-World, but I guess we lost the will to live by that point.

9. Dead Cells

Sad to see one of the all-too-few outta-nowhere hits of 2017 on course to tumble out of the top ten so soon, but nonetheless Jolly Good Show to Dead Cells’ blend of roguelike, Metroidvania and Dark Souls. We like it a lot, and for an added bonus it’s one of very few games here which will run on a Terrible Laptop. Given that it won as much attention as it did while still in early access, I rather imagine it’ll be back in the top ten come its full release, whenever that is. Which won’t be my problem, in any case. MORE ON WHICH SHORTLY.

8. Oxygen Not Included

I’ve not played Klei’s latest (a space colony sim with a heavy focus on urine management), which makes it the first Klei game in quite some time (if not forever) that I’ve not jumped on as soon as possible. No particular reason for that, but I suppose it’s just that we’re lucky enough to live in an age when we have a wide choice of games exploring concepts like this. So I’m happy to wait for its full release rather than juggle early access balls at this stage. Given it’s charted right off the bat, hopefully that bodes well for it achieving said full release. Nothing’s a given in this day and age of Steam-swamping.

7. H1Z1: King of the Kill

Sayonara, King Of The Kill! I may never have to write about you again.

6. Endless Space 2

Disclosure: I contributed some writing to an Endless Space 2-related project and so cannot say anything about the game here myself. I shall leave you instead with Fraser Brown’s review for us.

5. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

4. Fallout 4

Again, it was the free weekend wot did it. Is this the last time we will ever see Fallout 4 in these charts? I will never tell you. Never! Never! Unless someone is off sick or on holiday or I get told to do it. FREEDOM IS AN ILLUSION.

3. Friday the 13th: The Game

On paper, a Friday the 13th videogame reads like the desperate license-flogging that blighted noughties gaming (Knight Rider! Starsky and Hutch! The Godfather! Reservoir Dogs… wait, they’re doing that again?), but in practice it’s an ingenious use of ol’Vorhees. Adam’s extremely taken with how it blends asymmetrical multiplayer with slasher movie tropes, even if there are a few rough edges to iron out. That said, rough edges defined 70s and 80s horror cinema, so maybe a super-polished affair would be inappropriate.

2. Grand Theft Auto V

Free! I’m free! I can leave all this behind, go anywhere, do anything, be my own man again.

But, like his own lovely lady, maybe GTA V feels exactly the same way.

1. PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds

We’ve warmed to PUBG a great deal over the months, but no longer will I be required to devise some new observation about its perpetual number one status week after week. Because, yes indeed, it is done.

No more Steam charts for me. Another voice will take control of them, beginning next week, and I will henceforth spend my Tuesdays on a fresh task instead. More on that next week, but in the meantime, I trust that you’ll join me in a very special celebration, for old time’s sake. Raise your airhorns to the sky one final time, and let’s do this.

23 Comments

  1. mechavolt says:

    And so ends an era. I doubt anyone else will be able to replicate your undisguised loathing for these charts. You’ll be missed.

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    mcjamieuk says:

    But… but… who will drive the Vengabus now?

    • Gorm13 says:

      The Vengaboys’ bus driver?
      Which, incidentally, must be a really crappy job. Imagine having to listen to “We like to party” for weeks on end, while sober.

  3. Pogs says:

    Can we get a Top 10 of the Top 10 Steam Charts for posterity?

  4. Minsc_N_Boo says:

    This is the end, my beautiful friend…. The End

    Thanks for all the lulz Alec. I hope your successor does justice to my new favourite feature

  5. Antongranis says:

    Happy to see Fallout 4 up there again. Personally, i would consider it an RPG, altough the term isnt exactly well defined.

  6. Oddzelot says:

    Sad news or us reg readers. Alec is retires from his duties on the weekly madness,which Steam calls “Charts“.
    Sir, You have done very well! Thank you for your weekly creative approaches on the insane. CS:GO, GTA V, random AAA releases in three versions, BattleRoyal-esques, Sale-Comebacks and the occasional indie pearl. Nothing could Stop you from delivering us weekly joy, fun and Entertainment with various forms of writing, gifs, vids.
    Thank You.

    Btw my favorite piece is the one week with the long short Story.
    Ending with
    The Vengabus is coming…
    A Classic.

  7. spec10 says:

    Thanks for your service. I expect there to be a fitting ceremony like changing of the guard @ Buckingham Palace. Where can I preorder tickets?

  8. alecdieso says:

    That MR. Robot quote – “FREEDOM IS AN ILLUSION.”

  9. Solidstate89 says:

    I’m gonna miss seeing you lose your mind every week.

  10. lglethal says:

    Nice call on Crowded House! I didnt think they actually made it out of the Southern Hemisphere… :)

    • Lacessit says:

      Are you kidding? Crowded House was huge! Admittedly for one year and a half, but yuuge!

    • Chairman_Meow says:

      New Zealand’s favorite sons did indeed make a global splash in the 80s. “something so strong” and “don’t dream it’s over” charted all over North America and Europe.

  11. Lacessit says:

    Thank you for all the traumatic memories Alec. If the Vengaboys ever make a comeback, I will be thinking of/blaming you.

  12. Darth Gangrel says:

    Something ends, Something begins…

    I’m sad to read that you’re leaving, but the Steam charts are eternal while its vassals are mere mortals. I hope your replacement gif’s us as much enjoyment and give you my best wishes for the future.

  13. heretic says:

    Sad! No more vengabus :(

  14. Unsheep says:

    By the way, did you know that reading Steam reviews and Steam Community pages will actually rot away your intelligence ?

  15. The Army of None says:

    Failed.

    Wait, no, wrong now-defunct-but-was-great-regular-feature.

  16. Gomer_Pyle says:

    ;_; We’ll miss you, Alec.

  17. April March says:

    The Steam charts are finally ending? At last, no longer it’ll crowd up the tags of any games that get sold a lot until I can’t find
    *adjusts glasses* Oh, wait, you’re just changing to someone else.
    Look, if you find someone who actually likes doing it, it’ll be a dangerously low level of RPS. It’s stuff like this that makes you wake up one day and realize you’re IGN. It’s all a closed loop.

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      The Almighty Moo says:

      God, I hope that never happens to me. One day you are just some ordinary human and the next you wake up and you are IGN.

  18. samination says:

    Love how you praise Friday the 13th while you completely ignored Dead By Daylight when it came out almost a year ago and did the exact same thing, but better. So, I guess if you do slap a brand name on something people will take notice even though the game didn’t start its life as this.

  19. Rojthegod says:

    “For thirty-eight long years, you people have looked to me to inform you which ten games sold best on Steam over the past week.”

    link to rockpapershotgun.com

    First post was in 2007? 10 years ago? Steam’s been a thing since 2003? 14 years ago?

    Is this a reference to something??