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Have You Played… HORSE MASTER?

A matter of horse

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Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day of the year, perhaps for all time.

Remembering my playthrough of HORSE MASTER [itch site] is like recalling the details of a vivid night terror. You are training and raising your horse to take part in a mysterious but renowned contest of some sort. But this is not the horse world as you horse know it. This is a throbbing contortionist of a tale, equal parts underdog sports story and disturbing dystopian body horror, all with some gamey stats and a management system thrown into its Twiney heart.

It’s also our 30th best free game and we don’t muck about with those list features. It’s good. Even the names of the breeds of horses inspires concern. Maybe you’ll take care of a “Carolina Coffinbreath” or a “Furioso-Hellfist”, whose huge frame is “not outside the scope of the theoretical musculature load” according to the horse salesman. There are so many instances of writing like this: unsettling, curious, scary.

One thing you should know if you do intend to become a Horse Master: don’t let that picture up there fool you. You should never EVER ride a horse.

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Who am I?

Brendan Caldwell

Features Editor

Brendan likes all types of games. To him there is wisdom in Crusader Kings 2, valour in Dark Souls, and tragicomedy in Nidhogg.

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