Superdimension Neptune VS Sega Hard Girls hits PC

“Who won E3?” the pundits demand to know. And who lost? Who stood triumphant and who fell? Who was split in twain and who feasted upon their entrails? Whose blood nourishes the sacred oak and who drinks from their skull? We don’t have to do this.

Look at the JRPG series Hyperdimension Neptunia, where goddesses representing the main gaming systems set their differences aside and end the console wars. Or look at Superdimension Neptune VS Sega Hard Girls [official site], a spin-off which crosses Neptunia over with an anime-o-novel world of Sega console schoolgirl goddess avatars – the Sega Hard Girls. We could learn so much from them.

A port of a PlayStation Vita game from 2016, Superdimension Neptune VS Sega Hard Girls is now out on Steam for £16.09/19,59€/$20.99 – which includes the 30% launch discount available until Monday.

Oh, yeah, also, someone is transformed into a motorbike. I’ll turn you over to the blurb:

“In this RPG adventure, our usual heroine of the Neptunia series, Neptune, is transformed into a motorcycle and now IF, who has always been supporting Neptune from the side, must take main stage! With the help of the Sega Hard Girls, IF must jump, dash, climb, and crawl her way to recover the lost history of the Grand Library. With an intense combat system that allows players to change classes or gain the edge in battle with Fever Time, the journey to save the world Iffy-cially starts!

“A collaboration project between ASCII Media Works’ Dengeki Bunko and SEGA, the Sega Hard Girls are made up of various Sega consoles, including the Dreamcast, Sega Saturn, and Mega Drive! These anthropomorphized consoles are girls with an array of personalities and spunk, and this time they are teaming up with Neptune and IF for an all-new adventure!”

If only Ian Sony, Ian Microsoft, Yann Ubisoft, and all the other Ians could overcome their differences. If only pundits could stop baying for blood. If only we could find peace.

Also, mate, SEGA HARD GIRLS. What a name!


  1. Premium User Badge

    Tendehka says:

    Man, are these games even good? There’s roughly half a million of them on Steam, and I can’t tell if they’re just waifubait or not.

    • wcq says:

      Oh, they’re super waifubait. I’ve seen some insist that they’re good regardless, but personally I couldn’t get through more than a hour or two of the one I got off some Humble Bundle.

      • DuncUK says:

        I couldn’t even make it much past a third of the way through the trailer for this game. It’s like someone took the polar opposite of everything I love about video games and entertainment in general and turned it into game. To say that I just don’t get this would be a giant understatement.

    • drumcan says:

      The first one’s good if you enjoy grinding for items, turn-based battle systems, and lots of sapphic subtext.

      The rest are garbage. i m o.

      • Premium User Badge

        Tendehka says:

        This just makes them sound like Disgaea, but somehow more uncomfortable to play.

        • Rince says:

          Like Disgaea but with lesbianism, which makes it infinitely superior in my book.

          I only have played the first Neptunia game and it’s pretty fun if you like traditional JRPGs. And lesbian subtext.

          • Blastaz says:

            Are you sure there isn’t just Lesbian text?

            I’m mean according to the description the heroine gets turned into a motorbike so her hiterto shy friend has to step into the spotlight and (presumably) ride around with her throbing between her legs…

        • keefybabe says:

          No way could I cope with these game. Even Disgea goes a bit too close to waifu wank cartoons for my liking.

    • KDR_11k says:

      I only played some of the first (rebirth version, the original version was apparently total garbage) and some of the Dynasty Warriors clones, my main issue with the first was that many attacks have AOE but in irregular shapes (e.g. long rectangles) and the game has no grid so you spend a lot of time perfectly aligning your characters to hit as many enemies as possible and that just slows it down too much. Fairy Fencer limited AOE to special attacks so you didn’t have to line them up for every turn.

    • SuspiciousScout says:

      This might sound biased as I’m a fan of this series, but I personally think they’re pretty good. The whole concept is neat and all the little inside-jokes relating to video game culture makes it unique. The characters and story are good (For the most part, there’s some bad ones) and the best part of the series is them interacting with each other. However I will say it does have a lot of the typical anime tropes and not everyone is gonna be into that, so really it’s a matter of whether you like the overall theme or not.

    • iyArashi says:

      Mechanically, it’s decent. Story-wise, it’s mostly anime fluff. Character interactions are great though and this is what people mostly come to this series for. It also has one of the best features I’ve found in a JRPG without random encounters — you can skip animations in combat by holding down a button. Makes grinding/farming so quick and less tedious.

  2. Freud says:

    I like to think of myself as fairly open minded, but I have to draw the line somewhere.

    I get a headache from the combination of this type of music and this type of animation.

    • poliovaccine says:

      Good to know I’m not alone on that one… No offense meant to those who dig this type of game, and I mean that in all earnest, cus god only knows I’ve got some questionable fancies of my own, and not just in terms of gameworlds… but this has never been my style, to say the least. I mean, never mind even the shrill, hypersensory, epileptic migraine element – I just find this sort of thing every bit as creepy or unsettling as Silent Hill 2 – and I suspect for some of the same reasons.

  3. April March says:

    I’ll only play if they release a special edition that includes Nick and Griffin from Polygon as enemies. Hard Girls vs. Soft Boys.

    • DuncUK says:

      Was that some sort of strange BNP joke? If it was, I didn’t get it.

  4. Wauffles says:

    they look like children