A new gameplay video for Total War: Warhammer II [official site] focuses on the High Elves, or ‘pricks’ as everyone else calls them. The 11-minute narrated gameplay video shows off units including the Dragon Princes of Caledor (pricks), Phoenix (prick), Frostheart Phoenix (icy prick), and the Phoenix Guard (heaving sack of pricks). If you want to watch a band of wanks in big hats beating up some ace lizards because they’re jealous of the lads’ bodypaint and topless japery, 1) this is the video for you 2) what does that say about you?
“This battle was created in a custom battle using an early work in progress of the game,” the devs note, “and some elements, such as visuals and stats are subject to change.”
‘High Elves’! Give over. The only thing high about you is your opinion of your oh-so-fancy selves, you dying empire of dickheads.
Along the Lizardmen and with this pan of tosspots, Total Warhammer 2 will bring Dark Elves and a yet-unconfirmed fourth faction who, going by a cheeky hint in one trailer, are probably the Skaven ratfolk. It’s off to visit new lands too, though players who own both Twarhammers will, some time soon after launch, get a big campaign map piecing their bits of the world together.
Twarhammer 2 is due on September 28th. Many more wars are totally in development, with one new game visiting a period in history the series hasn’t seen so far and another, the first of the ‘Total War Saga’ spin-offs, returning to Romans.