RPS OoO: please enjoy these posts in our absence


RPS is doing something it almost never does today: we’re all meeting up in-person. This is either where we clamber inside a cocoon and emerge at the other side as a more beautiful butterfly, or it’s the start of a King Ralph-style comedy where we’re all simultaneously killed and Tim Stone ends up running the site alone. I’m not sure which you’d prefer.

But relatedly, while the team are all putting our heads together and finding out how tall Brendan is, we’ve asked some of our friends to write short posts for the site today about subjects of their choosing. Tim, Richard Cobbett, Fraser Brown and more all contribute over the next day and a half, and each will be tagged like this. In the evening, our usual assortment of features. Enjoy and we’ll be back soon.

(OoO means “out of office” by the way, which is wholly unfitting because this is basically the only time of the year when any of us will be in an office.)


  1. Shiloh says:

    …and Tim Stone ends up running the site alone. I’m not sure which you’d prefer…

    Hmm, tough one. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy the team’s various witterings, but Tim Stone running the site in perpetuity? Where do I sign?

    Anyway, enjoy your OoO day, all.

    • JB says:

      Yeah, I mean, I’m not wishing for anyone’s death, least of all the bulk of the RPS team. But suggesting Tim running the site as the alternative is a dangerous game, Graham

      Viva Flare Path!

    • Captain Narol says:

      Sign me in, too !

      Tim’s first decision would probably to rename the site :

      Railways, Planes, Ships.

    • Dogshevik says:

      No2! Um…I mean, butterflies are ok, I guess. Pretty to look at and all that. But how could it possibly compare to the 260hp of a Mercedes D.IVa inline engine we would be hearing so much more about if Tim ran the site?
      You are not really giving us much of a choice here.

    • ru_disa says:

      So… StonePaperShotgun?

    • April March says:

      Honestly, I already read Stone’s column even though I don’t care a jot for 95% of the games he posts about (the 5% are train/tram/railcar/other public transport on rails simulators – my one weakness). If he started posting about games I like I might have to abandon my job.

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    distantlurker says:

    If we don’t get an Album cover pic of everyone looking suitably 90’s broody there will, mark my words, be hell to pay.

  3. Squirrelfanatic says:

    You fools! Never announce such things publicly, don’t you know that it’s the perfect setup for internet robbers to stage a heist at castle shotgun? Come to think of it, if the name is any indication for what’s stashed inside (apart from trusty ol Horace who will endlessly slobber any invader’s hands in expectation for infinite treats), you’re probably pretty safe to leave the doors unlocked.

    • Captain Narol says:

      Don’t worry, Tim holds the Watch !

      Noone will trespass !

      “Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honor to the Night’s Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.”

      • Benratha says:

        I’m now imagining a Tim Stone chaired Communal Combat Mission themed around the defence of the RPS treehouse.
        I nominate PCGamer as the insurgents, possibly aided by an Eurogamer airdrop…

      • Ben Damage says:

        “I comma square bracket recruit’s name square bracket comma do solemnly swear by square bracket recruit’s deity of choice square bracket to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the City of Ankh-Morpork comma serve the public truƒt comma and defend the ƒubjects of his ƒtroke her bracket delete whichever is inappropriate bracket Majeƒty bracket name of reigning monarch bracket without fear comma favour comma or thought of perƒonal ƒafety semi-colon to purƒue evildoers and protect the innocent comma comma laying down my life if neceƒsary in the cauƒe of said duty comma so help me bracket aforeƒaid deity bracket full stop Gods Save the King stroke Queen bracket delete whichever is inappropriate bracket full stop.”

  4. N'Al says:

    This is the end.

  5. Kefren says:

    I bet it takes place in a pond. They’ll be wild swimming, apart from John who stands at the edge in his trunks looking miserable. But if a cryptozoological behemoth appears and begins to munch on the team, defenceless now because they left their rocks and shotguns on the shore, John will be vindicated.

  6. Spacewalk says:

    The picture’s a lie, RPS doesn’t have that many writers.

    • April March says:

      All of the sitting women are Pip. That’s what happens when you try to record her on a static medium.

  7. Meat Circus says:

    The man standing up appears to be doing some regency mansplaining.

    • Vilos Cohaagen says:

      Oh god yes. I worked with a right tit of a talentless game dev who constantly assumed that pose when he mansplained (and took credit for the work of others). Only difference was he looked and smelled like a hobo. Ug, bad flashback.

  8. Neurotic says:

    All hail King Stone!

  9. Crusoe says:

    Alec has convinced everyone to meet to discuss the Twin Peaks finale.

    And rightly so.

  10. Vilos Cohaagen says:

    So today is Capping Day, eh? I had no idea the Gamer Network had tripods, but it makes sense. To mix my references, I hope you’re prepared for the exec mantra as uttered by Jack in 30 Rock: “It’s a great office, but sometimes, you have to change things that are perfectly good just to make them your own.”

    Have fun.

    Oh and Tim running things sounds good to me 😀

    • Kefren says:

      I didn’t think they needed capping, they were already content with rule from the overlords.

      Still, I bet one of the sneaky bastards has a grenade hidden about their person.

      • Vilos Cohaagen says:

        Alice. If anyone will bring down the tripods, my money is on Alice.

  11. Mungrul says:

    I initially read “…we clamber inside a racoon”.

    OoO drove us mental in our office when we merged with a significantly larger company. People post OoO for the most idiotically trivial reasons.

  12. cpt_freakout says:

    This will be great Murder Mansion Mystery material.

  13. Nauallis says:

    I suspect they’re just taking the day off to play Destiny 2 on launch day, because they just can’t wait seven weeks for the PC version… but if they admitted taking time off to play console games Tim Stone would end up running the site anyway.

  14. Sin Vega says:

    I feel compelled to don some kind of monster costume and terrorise the meeting.